As the Garnetts celebrate Christmas, Alf berates Rita and Mike for only giving him 'Whiffs' as opposed to real cigars and second-rate socks whilst they have bought Else a dress and accuses his atheist son of hypocrisy. Rita is unable to recall his gift of a doll's house when she was little – though that was because Alf fell downstairs and broke it whilst drunk. When the carollers come calling, Alf is ready for then with a vase of dirty water but has to drink it when he sees the vicar heading the singers.

The sexual morals of the youth of the mid-1960s are far from acceptable to pedagogue Alf, and when Rita's virtue is brought into question by Socialist son-in-law Mike, the predictable explosion occurs.

Pipe smoker Alf reluctantly accepts a challenge given by Mike to give up smoking. Both Else and Rita are pleased, but which of the two men will crack under the strain first?

In yet another political argument, this time about the war in Vietnam, Alf declares that all protesters are Communists. However, when a lorry driver parks outside Alf's house and refuses to budge, Alf indulges in a little protest of his own.

When Mike loses his job and has to sign on the dole, Alf is suspicious because he offers to give him more money for the rent. It turns out that he has an extra £5 in his National Assistance but has to give most of it to Alf as increased rent.

Alf comes home late from work and finds his dinner burnt to a crisp in the oven. Else tells him that Mike is at the chip shop and that if he phones through to him, it will not be too late for Alf to place his own order. However, Alf is thwarted by others using the phone box.

Alf returns home full of pride, having bought a portrait photograph of the Duke of Windsor—the former King Edward VIII—he astonishes his family by telling them that his late father was a personal friend and drinking companion of the Duke, and also the Duke is an ardent supporter of Alf's beloved West Ham United.

Alf is in hospital for a short stay and he is not a model patient. Uncomfortable with a Black nurse, he defies hygiene by trying to clean his pipe out with a syringe. To worsen matters, he's visited by relatives, something he can truly do without.

Alf has a stomach bug but Else has blocked the toilet with tea leaves so he has to keep going next door. After decrying immigrants for bringing in diseases, Alf learns that he is carrying a contagious bug himself and has to go into hospital. Rita and Mike gleefully burn his copy of notorious moral guardian Mary Whitehouse's 'Clean Up TV' to prevent further contamination.