"I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars."

"Now Peg, if you want to have sex, the kids'll have to leave. And, if you want it to be good... you'll have to leave."

Cookie stole my big uns.

My husband doesn't have a thousand dollars. He's a shoe salsman.

Be out by morning.

Al: "Why are we doing this, Peg? The last time we had a party it was a disaster."
Peggy: "It was our wedding."
Al: "I rest my case."

Lonnie: "You make me feel all funny, like my insides turn to whip cream."
Kelly: "Oh, when I look at you my legs turn to jello."
Lonnie: "You know, whip cream and jello they go real good together."
Kelly: "Oh, you're making me hungry."
Lonnie: "I love you Kelly."
Kelly: "Lonny, I don't usually say this fully clothed, but, I love you too."

Al: "Peg, we've been married for umpteen years. Now...can't we just be friends?"

Son, son, I don't have a nickel!

Al: "If we have sex Peg, then what will make your birthday special?"

Random male stripper: "I miss 8-Track tapes." Marcy: "I'm not paying you to think."

Every time I heard Peggy's maiden name I chuckled.

A nightmare for the UK broadcaster

@Gus Gorman said:

Every time I heard Peggy's maiden name I chuckled.

A nightmare for the UK broadcaster

"Peggy Wanker - don't bother to thank her." ("Connie Bender - bring a friend, it won't offend her.")

Peg: His eyes, his face, his chest, his legs...

Marcy: What else would you change about him, Peg?

Peg: "What's that toilet got that I don't?"

Al: "A job!"

"Kelly, you don't have to say another word: Peg, take the boy and the dog and yet out!"

Al: Forget it Peg, you can have a percentage of our son, Buck Peg: Bud Al: Buck, Bud what's the difference?