Discuss Dark Shadows

  • Her name is Victoria Winters

  • Carolyn suffers from undiagnosed bipolar disorder

  • The Collins’ have deforested Maine to keep their fireplace endlessly lit

  • Growing up in a Foundling Ward is proper training to be a governess

  • Victoria spends an awful lot of money on mailing stamped envelopes to herself

  • It seems highly unlikely that Roger would ever beget a child with a woman

  • There is no shortage of dodgy, older men pledging their undying loyalty to Elizabeth

  • A fortune can be made by canning sardines

  • Collinsport must be very dull if a trip to Bangor is exciting

  • A failed artist can afford a sizable two bedroom cottage in town

  • The hotel diner thrives by giving away sundaes and serving lousy coffee

  • No one questions a middle aged man entertaining a 9 year old boy in his hotel room alone

  • Vehicular manslaughter only rates five years in prison

  • Ex-convicts can amass a fortune in South America in under five years

  • Ellizabeth spends six hours on hair every morning, only to sit around the house all day

  • Elizabeth has resting disapproval face

  • Attempting to murder your father is a rite of passage

  • People care way too much about silver fountain pens

  • For all their wealth, there are only two phones in the Collinwood mansion, and they are 10 feet apart

  • No one asks who’s there before opening the front door to their isolated mansion

  • Being someone’s hired housekeeper is a lot like being someone’s wife

  • Maggie lies about the freshness of the diner’s mayonnaise

  • The hotspot in town is some dive bar that plays one song over and over

  • Being a 10 min walk from the cannery, the Evans’ house must reek to high heaven

  • Elizabeth is still paying off a 150 year-long mortgage on Collinwood

  • Room Service thinks Burke eats two steaks for dinner

  • Maggie is an expert on diesel engines, and that turns Joe on

  • Maggie is allowed 2 minutes of self-pity a day

  • David loves funerals

  • You just know there’s a secret closet full of decapitated puppies in David’s room

  • “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?” sounds far more salacious than it turns out to be

  • Susie the Waitress won’t speak to customers

  • Roger always thought there was “something a little wrong with David”.

  • David can self-teach himself about car engines and tidal currents, but can’t learn what is the sum of 8 times 8.

  • Roger is a high-functioning alcoholic

  • Victoria plays the Foundling Sympathy Card a lot

  • Cold blowy nights are the best nights to have fun

  • Sam doesn’t want his daughter Maggie wasting her time hoping for something she’s unlikely to ever find, such as love or a happy ending.

  • Frank Garner is a champion of lost causes, such as Victoria Winters

  • Victoria thinks it’s a good idea to drink plenty of coffee before a long drive on a cold night

  • A Nor’easter usually lasts three days. It ended the next morning.

  • Lowland back roads are far less likely to be flooded than highland major highways

  • Victoria has clearly never seen inside of the Bridal suite at the Waldorf Astoria

  • Elizabeth doesn’t want anyone else but brother Roger aroused.

170 replies (on page 7 of 12)

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  • Barnabas finally came out to his father, who recommended suicide
  • Millicent's plan now forces Nathan to propose marriage to Daniel
  • Joshua has satisfied Nathan's aroused curiosity
  • Naomi doesn't believe in witches, but does believe in wedding superstitions
  • Joshua's attempt at conversion therapy for Barnabas was thwarted by mommy issues
  • Victoria, bleeding all over the floor, picked the wrong time of the month to escape jail
  • Peter Bradford, with a gun, can't subdue a pudgy man twice his age
  • Bathia Mapes washes her clothes in linseed oil
  • Daniel is going through his Little Lord Fauntleroy stage
  • There were polaroid cameras in 1795
  • Carolyn's newest mad crush is on a Frankenstein zombie
  • Elizabeth enjoys ordering men around
  • Dr. Lang had nightmares of following Julia into a dark room
  • Everyone is shocked that Roger got married... to a woman
  • Roger is not in the habit of taking sleeping pills
  • Professor Stokes never cared for the letter "L"
  • To know Willie is to dislike Willie
  • Vicki is cheating on her ghost lover with his reincarnation
  • Peter is nervous and confused finding Joe in his bedroom
  • Barnabas warns Julia before he's going in
  • Barnabas chooses the red pill
  • Julia offers graveside career counseling
  • The autopsy of a reanimated corpse shouldn't arouse any suspicions
  • Fickle Carolyn befriends the beast who killed Sam and also most killed Joe.
  • Harry has lots of friends in prison
  • Carolyn is lucky Adam never needs a bathroom
  • Elizabeth keeps old pornography in the west wing
  • Cassandra needs a better hand moisturizer
  • Blair and Stokes are terrible at small talk
  • Cassandra can't wait to get at Adam and reach her climax
  • The west wing of Collingwood consists on one hallway and one room
  • Roger never understood women
  • 3 a.m. in Vicky's bedroom is where everyone goes to meet
  • Barnabas lacks the compassion to forgive his family's murderer
  • Elizabeth has terrible bedside manner for the dying
  • Carolyn pays Harry $100 to spend the night with Adam
  • Adam is able to walk up to Vicki's second floor bedroom window
  • Transferring her lifeforce into Eve is something of an orgasmic experience for Angelique
  • No one bothers to call the police when Tony is nearly killed by a monstrous madman on the terrace
  • No one will miss Maggie if she goes missing for a few days.
  • Nicholas is afraid to caught meeting Adam in the woods late at night
  • Caroline was mistaken for dead when she fainted
  • Barnabas wants a refund on Julia's failed hypnosis
  • Fiona is simply dead on her feet
  • Adam is not comfortable when other men try to handle him
  • Jeff is dismayed that Angelique is still in his bedroom the morning after
  • Nicholas is a total fang-blocker and now is dabbling in cosmetic surgery
  • When asking for help, Eve always throws in a death threat for emphasis
  • Nicholas doesn't believe in locking front doors
  • Despite being mistaken for dead just yesterday, Elizabeth is in excellent health
  • Ben Stokes worked for the Collins family as an endangered servant
  • Julia is frightened by having so many things needing to be done right
  • Chris Jennings likes to scare people into thinking he's his dead brother
  • Hell has an HR Department
  • In each lifetime, Jeff gets accused of a murder he didn't commit
  • Eve died as she lived... on her back in a man's room
  • Maggie has a surprising number of cavities

w0w

And I just happened to stumble upon this while searching for the Y&R board while also wondering where in the hell you've been. lol

I've taken refuge among the vampires and the cobwebs.

  • Chris won't be getting his hotel room deposit back
  • Marrying Peter is like marrying a corpse
  • Victoria's first time was the ultimate one night stand
  • Maggie doesn't question Julia being in her home watching her sleep
  • Elizabeth will be furious the kids are calling ghosts on the phone long-distance

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