Oh she doesn't need a rototiller. She's just trying to capitalize off of other people's ground turning needs.

Besides, as they say there's only three things you can count on in life. Death, taxes and the need for a good rototiller.

Perhaps it's time to end this story. Would you like to finish it off?

As happens with many people Lemony Lee wanted to be a farm girl even though she was a mermaid.

Her mother said: "You should be content with your chocolate shop.

Her father said: "Knock it off" and went back to watching the Dolphins game.

But Lemony Lee was not content even when she sold chocolates to pirates: Pirates and chocolate

So, on her small outcropping of rock in the middle of the bay she expanded her chocolate shop to include farm equipment. It was sad because very few farmers came to her store.

One day Tim the Reasonably Adequate was scanning the horizon from his tower (which he designed for such purposes). Scanning the horizon is what nautical types do. On this day he saw Lemony lee wallowing in her misery and thought "Something should be done about that"

He summoned the finest scientists and engineers in the land. After much thought they designed a carriage that held water and could be drawn by horses. "It looks like a bathtub on wheels." observed Tim.

"Well, what do you expect for what you pay us?" countered the scientists and engineers.

Tim then sent forth his buccaneers and brought Lemony Lee onto land and gave her the carriage.

Lemony Lee now happily rototills land that Tim gave her. But she still doesn't know a thing about farming. So, people call her Sandy.

@Tim-Buktu said:

As happens with many people Lemony Lee wanted to be a farm girl even though she was a mermaid.

Her mother said: "You should be content with your chocolate shop.

Her father said: "Knock it off" and went back to watching the Dolphins game.

But Lemony Lee was not content even when she sold chocolates to pirates: Pirates and chocolate

So, on her small outcropping of rock in the middle of the bay she expanded her chocolate shop to include farm equipment. It was sad because very few farmers came to her store.

One day Tim the Reasonably Adequate was scanning the horizon from his tower (which he designed for such purposes). Scanning the horizon is what nautical types do. On this day he saw Lemony lee wallowing in her misery and thought "Something should be done about that"

He summoned the finest scientists and engineers in the land. After much thought they designed a carriage that held water and could be drawn by horses. "It looks like a bathtub on wheels." observed Tim.

"Well, what do you expect for what you pay us?" countered the scientists and engineers.

Tim then sent forth his buccaneers and brought Lemony Lee onto land and gave her the carriage.

Lemony Lee now happily rototills land that Tim gave her. But she still doesn't know a thing about farming. So, people call her Sandy.

"Tim the Reasonably Adequate." 😂😂😂

Thank you for the more than adequate story ending, and for my bathtub carriage. You said the more improbable the better for our story and I think we fit that bill. 😁

I'm on vacation this week so I'll try to think up a new story and if I can come up with something funny I'll put it in this thread.

I can't seem to come up with a good pretend story, but sometimes real life is better anyway. Would it interest you to know that my cat Frances was once in love with an exotic pet of my neighbor's who somehow got loose? He was an oscillated lizard, the likes of which normally hails from the Iberian Peninsula, and he took up residence under our basketball goal.

It sounds like you have more than enough there for a tale of love and tragedy. The exotic foreigner the basketball game the forbidden love.

Yep

It's all there.

And as a favor I will stay away from it. It is all yours.

It really is a story for the ages. I remember the first time I saw him, I thought I was seeing things. He looked like a miniature alligator. Frances would peer at him from the porch and he would crawl part of the way out from under the goal, exposing his long, green and handsome physique. We named him Ricardo.

Eventually though, Ricardo stopped emerging. Years later we had to move the goal and when we picked it up there was no trace of him there, so clearly at some point he had just ran away. Maybe Frances came on too strong. Maybe he feared commitment. We'll never know. But every so often I catch Frances looking that way and humming "My Heart Will Go On" from the Titanic movie with a faraway look in her eyes.

I don't think she'll ever love like that again. Except for her love of wet cat food. She loves nothing more than her wet cat food.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

A giant godzilla like monster was thinking about attacking Sheldonopolis but instead bought a comfy sweater at Shel Mart. Meanwhile tiny Spock was relaxing on the tiny Starship Enterprise when he saw over the starboard bow the Bat Signal. Tiny Spock exclamed "A Nerd is in trouble! It's only logical that I help.". So off tiny Spock went on his mission. I wonder if I need to borrow The Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos Tiny Spock wondered?

Don't be silly said the Gorn. Then Chewbacca appeared and growled or something. These are the voyages of the Starship Cheesecake Factory. It's a wave! The particles move like a wave!!!?. Then Howard said something creepy and Penny punched him in the nose.

Meanwhile Frodo, Harry Potter, and Spiderman were playing Pictionary when all of a sudden Han Solo shot Baby Yoda ... Boba Fett then said not cool man, not cool....

To be continued...

All of a sudden, Harry Potter stopped playing Pictionary and exclaimed, "Severus Snape never should have fallen in love with my mother"! He should have fallen in love with Lemons from The Big Bang Theory message board!" Then Severus Snape's ghost appeared and said, "I agree. If only I had fallen in love with her and married her I wouldn't have had any of my problems in life".

Spock, who heard all of this on his spaceship walkie-talkie, said in a deliberate (but still monotone) voice, "I don't see how that has anything to do with my mission".

Severus Snape then said "Silence Pointy Ears. I can out-monotone you!" They then agreed to audition for the outer space version of The Voice where people compete to sound the most indifferent.

To be continued if one of the 7 people on this message board feels like doing something with it...

So Severus Snape magically came back to life and married Lemons from the message board and they lived in a big fancy castle forever. With a kidney bean shaped swimming pool with navy blue water. And a Shiba Inu dog. The end.

Gasping and falling with closure-provided relief like Sheldon next to the fallen dominoes...

Was it my imagination or did Lemons wander by briefly?

@Tim-Buktu said:

Was it my imagination or did Lemons wander by briefly?

Hi Tim! I did post a few days ago but when I didn't hear back I took it down. I thought maybe you had decided you'd had enough message boarding for a while, which would be totally understandable. I sometimes feel that way too. 🙂 I hope you're doing well!

10 months...TEN MONTHS You just ignore us all and expect us to stop what we're doing? There we were alone in the wilderness with nothing to sustain us but Big Bang Theory reruns and tuna sandwiches (maybe some potato salad or Jell-O) But that's it. And now you come back from your world cruise in your diamonds and silks reeking of champagne and caviar. Well I'm not the sort to just answer right away. And then when I did? you were off planning another trip. You young Missey will have to try harder.

@Tim-Buktu said:

10 months...TEN MONTHS You just ignore us all and expect us to stop what we're doing? There we were alone in the wilderness with nothing to sustain us but Big Bang Theory reruns and tuna sandwiches (maybe some potato salad or Jell-O) But that's it. And now you come back from your world cruise in your diamonds and silks reeking of champagne and caviar. Well I'm not the sort to just answer right away. And then when I did? you were off planning another trip. You young Missey will have to tr harder.

Mr. Buktu. Take your plate of potato salad and go look at the main page of this message board. I've posted a fair number of threads around here within the past 10 months. I ain't gone nowhere, at least not for long. You're the one who has been off in foreign lands connosieuring fine chocolates and crawdad pastas. I do wish you would sail into port more often.

@Lemons🌻 said:

@Tim-Buktu said:

10 months...TEN MONTHS You just ignore us all and expect us to stop what we're doing? There we were alone in the wilderness with nothing to sustain us but Big Bang Theory reruns and tuna sandwiches (maybe some potato salad or Jell-O) But that's it. And now you come back from your world cruise in your diamonds and silks reeking of champagne and caviar. Well I'm not the sort to just answer right away. And then when I did? you were off planning another trip. You young Missey will have to tr harder.

Mr. Buktu. Take your plate of potato salad and go look at the main page of this message board. I've posted a fair number of threads around here within the past 10 months. I ain't gone nowhere, at least not for long. You're the one who has been off in foreign lands connosieuring fine chocolates and crawdad pastas. I do wish you would sail into port more often.

Cue the theme to The Love Boat for the two of you.

⛵💖

You were the one who said you were gone for 10 months (in your conveniently deleted post) I only responded to that. As for me, I'd like to tell you what I've been doing but that would compromise our agents in the field.