1.Don't have an unreasonably lengthy checklist of requirements that your significant other has to meet. You're looking for a human being, not a programmable robot.

2.Be willing to forgive every single day.

Edit: The above is advice that I would give anyone, not just Raj. Raj's problem is plain and simple. He wants a commitment and he keeps going after girls who don't. Just find a girl who wants a commitment and then don't act stupid. That's my advice for him.

@SpecialFlowers said:

1.Don't have an unreasonably lengthy checklist of requirements that your significant other has to meet. You're looking for a human being, not a programmable robot.

2.Be willing to forgive every single day.

Edit: The above is advice that I would give anyone, not just Raj. Raj's problem is plain and simple. He wants a commitment and he keeps going after girls who don't. Just find a girl who wants a commitment and then don't act stupid. That's my advice for him.

1)Reminds me of Raj rejecting Amy because she didn't fit his notion of physically "ideal"--and then bellyaching about being the one having to find a girlfriend after Sheldon Cooper.

2)I like outright—sounds like sage advice to me. If Sheldon had refused to get back with Amy after she broke up with him, you'd have my uncle--still crying in his beer 20ish years later over the worst mistake he ever made.

Surprising to most people Raj is my favorite character. I would say one thing, RELAX & let life happen. If you are 'meant' to be with someone it will happen.

Although this is one of the things that irritates me about writers (TV & Movies). Why do they always have to 'pair up' people? People can be perfectly happy WITHOUT a significant other.

@bratface said:

Surprising to most people Raj is my favorite character. I would say one thing, RELAX & let life happen. If you are 'meant' to be with someone it will happen.

Although this is one of the things that irritates me about writers (TV & Movies). Why do they always have to 'pair up' people? People can be perfectly happy WITHOUT a significant other.

People say this. But, I've never heard people say this about themselves. Nor have I ever heard people say they have heard people say this about themselves.

TV/Movies pairing up people it just art imitating life--what we see on the screen is just mirroring what we see off.

Truth is; I think it's an innate need--that is, we are just "hard-wired" that way. Of course, it could be "social construct". But, we are members of the Kingdom Animalia, after all. And, even lower animals that spend their lives alone make it a point to track down a significant other (a temporary one, anyway) during the mating season. How else would they not become extinct?

Show me someone who says they don’t want anyone to care about; or they don't want to be cared about by anyone, and I’ll show you a “Unabomber” in the making. (Of course, I’m kidding—but, not by much.)

Then you can call me Ms. 'Unabomber'. I haven't had a SO in quite a long time & am happy about it. The only thing I miss is sex, all the rest is just too much trouble.

@bratface said:

Then you just call me Ms. 'Unabomber'. I haven't had a SO in quite a long time & am happy about it. The only thing I miss is sex, all the rest is just too much trouble.

But, at least you have had one--which means at one time you wanted one--which means you made the effort--which means whatever effort you made included something that worked.

You sure you don't want to share some of that something that worked with Raj?

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

@bratface said:

Then you just call me Ms. 'Unabomber'. I haven't had a SO in quite a long time & am happy about it. The only thing I miss is sex, all the rest is just too much trouble.

But, at least you have had one--which means at one time you wanted one--which means you made the effort--which means whatever effort you made included something that worked.

You sure you don't want to share some of that something that worked with Raj?

I've had quite a few, I've also been married (wouldn't do it again).

My advice to Raj is RELAX & let life happen. I have read that a lot of people meet the 'one' when they aren't looking, don't know if it's crock but there it is. There wasn't anything in particular that 'worked' because every relationship starts & ends differently.

@bratface said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

@bratface said:

Then you just call me Ms. 'Unabomber'. I haven't had a SO in quite a long time & am happy about it. The only thing I miss is sex, all the rest is just too much trouble.

But, at least you have had one--which means at one time you wanted one--which means you made the effort--which means whatever effort you made included something that worked.

You sure you don't want to share some of that something that worked with Raj?

I've had quite a few, I've also been married (wouldn't do it again).

My advice to Raj is RELAX & let life happen. I have read that a lot of people meet the 'one' when they aren't looking, don't know if it's crock but there it is. There wasn't anything in particular that 'worked' because every relationship starts & ends differently.

Yeah. Raj isn't much for relaxing when he meets someone he likes. He can go from "hello" to "what should we name our children" --all in the same breath.

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

There are (appear to be) folks on here who have tied the knot. So, obviously you’ve been successful in landing your heart’s desire--which clearly means you did some things right.

Since Raj has had so little good luck in that department, I thought I’d Ask-The-Experts to give him some useful, concrete advice.

I know that answerers to such a question tend to drift toward “don’ts”—but, hope there will be some “do’s” thrown in.

(or not) I’m in no position to help; but thought it would be interesting to hear from folks, who unlike Raj, have a clue.

Lemons hit the nail on the head, but I have something to add. Relationships are a process and not an event that ends when you say you're together. Relationships like a home, are built and the foundations are trust and communication.

Since Raj has been able to talk to women for some time now I suggest he get back in touch with Siri.

Howard and Raj matched up Shamy. The odds of the only two such people on the planet getting together must be infinitesimal.

Never thought about it before; but, surely if the guys could pull off that miracle why haven't they searched for a match for Raj? Seems only natural.

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

Howard and Raj matched up Shamy. The odds of the only two such people on the planet getting together must be infinitesimal.

Never thought about it before; but, surely if the guys could pull off that miracle why haven't they searched for a match for Raj? Seems only natural.

Well yes, there are pretty certainly more Amys around, even if they're not all neuroscientists working at a particular university and living in a particular city. So they aren't that unique, but Sheldon might have only been able to meet the one(?) in Pasadena.

For that to benefit Raj, though, he would have to give up the idea that there's just ONE "soul mate" for him, in the entire world. Because the chances of crossing paths with that ONE, are vanishingly small.

What "really" happens, of course, is that a person meets SOMEONE and then convinces themselves, after the fact, that this person is their "one soul mate in the whole world."

@Knixon said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

Howard and Raj matched up Shamy. The odds of the only two such people on the planet getting together must be infinitesimal.

Never thought about it before; but, surely if the guys could pull off that miracle why haven't they searched for a match for Raj? Seems only natural.

Well yes, there are pretty certainly more Amys around, even if they're not all neuroscientists working at a particular university and living in a particular city. So they aren't that unique, but Sheldon might have only been able to meet the one(?) in Pasadena.

For that to benefit Raj, though, he would have to give up the idea that there's just ONE "soul mate" for him, in the entire world. Because the chances of crossing paths with that ONE, are vanishingly small.

What "really" happens, of course, is that a person meets SOMEONE and then convinces themselves, after the fact, that this person is their "one soul mate in the whole world."

I think that people have several soulmates, and that this term can apply to both friends and significant others. The idea that people only have one soulmate in the whole wide world is ridiculous.

(Not trying to dispute what you said so much as just offering my own take.)

Yes, that was the first option. But even if there are several, perhaps none of them is in the same city or anywhere else someone gets to. Overall, I suspect that in more cases - at least for someone who thinks "soul mate" is real and important - they just retcon that the person they wind up with, is their soul mate. Perhaps a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy in a way. Although retcon is probably more accurate, especially for a chat board about a TV show. I can see that happening with Raj, for sure. "I believe in having a soul mate. I'm with this person. Therefore this person is my soul mate."

@SpecialFlowers said:

@Knixon said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

Howard and Raj matched up Shamy. The odds of the only two such people on the planet getting together must be infinitesimal.

Never thought about it before; but, surely if the guys could pull off that miracle why haven't they searched for a match for Raj? Seems only natural.

Well yes, there are pretty certainly more Amys around, even if they're not all neuroscientists working at a particular university and living in a particular city. So they aren't that unique, but Sheldon might have only been able to meet the one(?) in Pasadena.

For that to benefit Raj, though, he would have to give up the idea that there's just ONE "soul mate" for him, in the entire world. Because the chances of crossing paths with that ONE, are vanishingly small.

What "really" happens, of course, is that a person meets SOMEONE and then convinces themselves, after the fact, that this person is their "one soul mate in the whole world."

I think that people have several soulmates, and that this term can apply to both friends and significant others. The idea that people only have one soulmate in the whole wide world is ridiculous.

(Not trying to dispute what you said so much as just offering my own take.)

After I signed off I thought about what I wrote: "the only two such people on the planet" and expected someone to point out that there is only "one each" of every person on the planet; so of course they are the only two such people.

Anyway...

Maybe "the only two such people on the planet" phrase is a tad hyperbolical.

But, wasn't going for "soulmate" so much as them being so quirkily oddish, and compatible, that there are bound to be two 'broken molds' somewhere.

As for "soulmate"--don't believe in the concept.