@CalabrianQueen said:

@Lemons said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

@CalabrianQueen said:

@Lemons said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

-1. Loyal enough to help me hide a dead whore.

-2. How much personal stuff you feel comfortable sharing with them.

-3. Grew up around the corner from each other since 6th grade.

-4. Not since I found out I was adopted.

I'm not going to ask about #1. But yeah, someone you can trust. Trust is definitely a repeating theme here. And I guess I should add that my second most important quality is someone who is kind. (As usual, I'm bending the rules, but there are LOTS of good qualities to look for!)

I remember watching "The Town" and Ben Affleck's character shows up at his friends house with a bat and tells him "I can't tell you what's going on or why but grab a bat because we have to hurt some people". His friend grabs a bat and goes with him without any further elaboration.

A lot of people saw that as a example of true friendship.

To paraphrase...

The enemy of my friend....

But then there's the flip-side. Is someone really a good friend if they put someone else in a position to get arrested? Just food for thought.

Well, in the movie they're professional bank robbers with no regard for the law, so whether what they were doing was legal or not wasn't important .

What was important the fact that his childhood friend trusted his motivations for doing said crime enough not to ask questions.

Clearly we WOULD ask questions but that's how the writer chose to portray their relationship.

It's actually a really interesting movie, especially among New englanders since it takes place in Boston.

That's it in a nutshell. I'm not saying I'd ever ask anyone to "help hide a dead whore" or "steal evidence"-- just saying that it's great to have someone who has—got your back LikeThat!

There are always fair-weather and belly-up-to-the-bar friends that you can't count on at all. And, there are always friends you can count on up to a certain point. But, one long-haul friend is worth more than all of them combined.

@Lemons said:

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

When it comes to friendship at that level--YES!

It’s just understood; YOU KNOW they want to be at your side and would be insulted that you didn’t think enough of their friendship to call them to help you handle-your-business.

Getting arrested isn’t always the worst thing that can happen.

---

ON A SIMILAR NOTE

Isn’t there anyone you’d risk going to jail for if push-came-to-shove?

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I think there are other things to consider, though. For instance, I've got two sons who'd probably prefer that mama not be in prison, and I have to think about them. However, would I go to prison for them- you better believe it!

It also depends on the length of time in prison. For example, would I go and protest some injustice with a friend if it meant a whole lot to them, and I risked spending a night in prison if arrested- I just might!

Nothing wrong with that—never said a commitment to a friendship HAS TO BE the most important thing in a person’s life.

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

Nothing wrong with that—never said a commitment to a friendship HAS TO BE the most important thing in a person’s life.

To FKA and Erica: I completely get what you are saying, and especially as depicted in some movies, a friend who would risk everything for another friend is certainly a phenomenal thing. My additions have just been to bring light to additional angles and add food for thought. We're different people and will describe "a good friend" a little differently, but there are prevailing themes like trust and reliability that are "have to's" for a friendship to be a good one.

To all: I've enjoyed discussing this with you!

More mundane things might need to get more credit. Such as, when I got in a car accident about 50 miles from home, I called a friend from High School and College and he just stopped whatever he happened to be doing and drove over and picked me up. Sure, it's not grabbing a bat to go hurt people. But how many of us need that in real life?

@FormerlyKnownAs said: Isn’t there anyone you’d risk going to jail for if push-came-to-shove?

I'm very much a "blood is thicker than water" type, obvious exception being my husband, to whom I have pledged my love and loyalty. I've been blessed with a wonderful family, and they are what's worth fighting for. Friends are fine, but they aren't family.

I'm answering these first, then I'll read other responses.

1.What one quality do you value most in your friends? Loyalty. Above all else. Which I suppose is also reliability and many other synonyms. But that's the first word that came to mind. When things are tough, are they there? Do they step up when help is needed? Do they show up when others don't? Will they help you, even when you may have done something wrong? Do you do the same for them? That's loyalty. Anyone can be there when things are fun. I look at those who show up when things AREN'T fun.

2.What separates someone from being a friend vs. an acquaintance? An acquaintance to me is someone at work I'd say "Hi" to. I may engage in conversations, and enjoy a laugh or two. A friendship occurs when you spend more time with someone than you have to. Do you spend EXTRA time with that person you met at work? Do you share a meal? Do you have them to your home? Do you help them out, and do they help you? That's a friend vs acquaintance to me. I have a lot of acquaintances. The reason they aren't my "friend" is because other than the times circumstances put us together, I'd never see them.

3.Think of your longest-term friend. How did you meet them? I met my oldest friend in the 7th grade. He was the new kid at the school. Most of us had been in the same class since kindergarten. He was a bit shy, skinny. As usual when you are younger, nobody wanted to hang out with him. This was a K-8 school, so we had 'recess' through the 8th grade. It was early November, and not very many people had befriended him. Me? I hadn't not to exclude him - but because he was new - and I frankly just hadn't paid any attention to him. But this day I saw him shooting baskets by himself on the other side of the gym. So I went up and asked if he wanted to play some One-on-One. You know what? Out of all the people I went to school with from Kindergarten - high school, he's the one I still see on a regular basis. And I was the Best Man at his wedding.

4.Do you enjoy extended family gatherings? I'm going to assume what you mean by "Extended" is cousins, Aunt's, Uncle's, stuff like that. Not 'extended' as in length of time for the gathering. But I'll answer both. My extended family from my parents, I can handle the get together, which now seem to be limited to funerals. I have a special relationship with one cousin who I spent a lot of time with growing up. We still see each other. But honestly, being the youngest male - in the entire extended family - means those events have essentially ended. All the Aunt's and Uncles on my Mom's side (and my Mom in 2016) are all dead. My Dad's (who passed in 2015) extended family has 2 Aunt's left, but since they lived farther away, we hardly saw them. It's to the point now where I've lost 4 cousins to the grim reaper. But I think back fondly on the extended family events we had, and wish I had more of them to remember. Now, my wife's the exact opposite. She's the oldest cousin, and she had many more Aunt's and Uncle's than I did. HUGE extended family. HUGE Christmas dinner with tons of people. I enjoy those events. We've even traveled together in large groups. Now, that's where things get dicey. Too much of anything can cause issues. But in general, my newest, younger nieces and nephews are from my wife's family. The ones from my family are all grown up with their own kids now. Since we don't have any kids, I REALLY enjoy spending time with these kids. We take them to ball games, have them over for sleep overs and swimming pool parties. I enjoy every second I spend with them. My one nephew and I feel more like friends as he's gotten older (15 now). He's smart, fun, and a good kid. My oldest niece from my wife's family made my year last year, when we hosted Father's Day at our house (we have a big in-ground pool and yard for BBQ - so we do a lot of hosting in the summer). When she swam over and hugged me in the pool and whispered in my ear that she considered me her 2nd father - well - I'll remember that hug till the day I'm gone. So to answer it, I love having my wife's family over. Her parents, brothers and sister, and their kids. I enjoy the extended parties and get together with with her Aunt's Uncles and cousins, and their kids - but it gets SO huge that it becomes a bit crazy.

So, I hope that answers the questions. Now I'll go back and read some of the answers!

@FormerlyKnownAs said:

@Lemons said:

The BBT characters clearly have very close friendships, even if they sometimes rib each other. So close that they appear closer to each other than to their own families, I'd say. For example, we've seen them spending holidays together. Regardless...they're close. So here are some questions about friendships and family. Feel free to answer any or all, and I'll add my answers soon.

1.What one quality do you value most in your friends?

-1. Loyal enough to help me hide a dead whore.

Couldn't help but think of this Thread at the beginning of "The Monetary Insufficiency" when, during their game, Leonard told Sheldon...

"You are in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws."

Sounds like friendship material to me.