Apspriest The Big Bang Theory
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OT (with a little BBT thrown in): Friends and Family
posted by tmdb19868063STAFFMOD on janvāris 3, 2018 at 9:50 AM
The BBT characters clearly have very close friendships, even if they sometimes rib each other. So close that they appear closer to each other than to their own families, I'd say. For example, we've seen them spending holidays together. Regardless...they're close. So here are some questions about friendships and family. Feel free to answer any or all, and I'll add my answers soon.
1.What one quality do you value most in your friends?
2.What separates someone from being a friend vs. an acquaintance?
3.Think of your longest-term friend. How did you meet them?
4.Do you enjoy extended family gatherings?
Atbilde no CalabrianQueen
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 10:28 AM
1: Reliability , we need to be able to rely on each other , not just do favors, but emotionally as well.
2: Friends are people you would make certain selfless decisions for and people who would do the same for you.
3: My best friend and roommate, Amanda. We met in 9th grade and attended the same schools until Grad school. She's essentially the sister I never had and we've shared everything accept boyfriends . Also, she's an unofficial child to parents and I'm the same to hers.She's the Max to my Caroline and most of my other friends are a bit jealous of our relationship.
4) I enjoy them when it's small and we bond over something like a certain show or sports.
Like I mentioned here before for some reason my uncles and aunts love to dump thier kids on ME when we have family get-togethers so I'm forced to entertain the children, take them out to movies etc. I prefer hanging out with my cousins who are my age !
But I will admit this my favorite cousins are my preteen cousins because they're more mature , ask interesting questions and actually have stories to tell.
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 10:56 AM
Those are great answers, Erica! I agree that I enjoy family gatherings most when they're small, and my answer to #4 below will explain that further.
1.What one quality do you value most in your friends?
Me: Integrity. I want someone who I can trust. A good, solid person of strong character.
2.What separates someone from being a friend vs. an acquaintance?
Me: For me a friend is someone with whom some soul-bearing can be done. An acquaintance is someone with whom your interactions are more guarded and surface-level in nature.
3.Think of your longest-term friend. How did you meet them?
Me: I met my longest-term friend as a baby. She lived down the street from me and our mothers were friends, so we'd play together when they visited. We ended up going to preschool, school and college together (including being freshman roommates), and were in each other's weddings. Interestingly, she and I have the same first name. We don't see each other much these days, as she lives in a different town now, but we keep in touch.
4.Do you enjoy extended family gatherings?
Me: When it's just my family, my parents and my sister's family, yes, and that is how it usually is these days. Extended family members (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents) grow up, move away, pass away, rifts happen, dysfunction boils over (it's amazing the domino effect the passing of a family matriarch can have!)... the family gatherings can start to shrink. Sigh...family. It makes me completely understand why some choose to spend holidays with friends, or very small (and tolerable) family sub-groups.
Atbilde no ArcticFox12
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 11:54 AM
2: Would they give me a kidney if I needed one?
3: My friend from High School, named Marc. I haven't spoken to him in a awhile but I know he lives in Washington. We meet up every now and again to go to a bar and reminisce. My other best friend is my brother in law.
4: I do, especially seeing the Young ones grow up.
Atbilde no ArcticFox12
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 11:56 AM
"We've shared everything except boyfriends"
I sincerely hope so! You're telling some friends share boyfriends?
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 12:09 PM
Love your answers! So far it looks like you and Erica have listed your best friends for #3. My longest-term friend who I described is the person with whom I've been friends the longest, but is not my best friend. It's also refreshing to hear your answer to #4. I talk to so many people whose extended families are like mine ( a mild disaster), and it's great to hear of those families who still enjoy coming together as a large group.
Atbilde no tmdb66064326
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 12:42 PM
This is such an interesting and timely post Lemons!
Before I answer, I have to preface by saying that I am very, very close with my family, including a favorite Aunt (my mother's sister) & Uncle and their three children, my cousins. We grew up sleeping over each other's houses and are still very close. I have two sisters and a brother as well, so I never had the burning desire to have friends that I hung out with outside of family. I've had friends over the years, but when circumstances parted us (graduation, moving to a different school, job, etc) we never kept in touch for long. I am a very bad friend.
"What quality do you value most in your friends?" That they leave me alone - don't call me, I'll call you
I guess for me a friend is someone I would hang out with outside of work or common social groups. If I was a regular person who made an effort when it comes to friends, I would agree with your answer Lemons!
My longest-term friends I met at work. Last summer I reconnected with one that I have known since the early 90s - she's been to my house exactly once since then. Did I mention I'm a terrible friend?
I enjoy extended family gatherings much more when I'm a guest, not the host. I hosted Christmas Eve this year and I was so stressed - it's like gearing up for a wedding. Tons of money, preparation, and planning, and then the day comes and it's a blur. And that's with help - I can't imagine how people do it alone. Plus, I didn't have all the aunts, uncles, cousins over, just the favorites that I mentioned earlier. When my mom used to have it at my parent's house, it was everyone and was even crazier - but I was a guest so there was no stress. But even those had gotten to be overwhelming.
I also have to say regarding friendship, that I have met very few people over the years that I really connected with on a personal level. One of my closest friends in recent years was a girl that worked for me when I was a manager at my former job. She was at least 20 years younger than me but we just really clicked. She had such a quirky, cool personality - she was the way I wish I was when I was her age. Like, the "real" me at that age personified, if that makes any sense. We got along great, had a blast at work, and started hanging out after work as well. She's been to my house several times. She was dating a guy who seemed ok, but they started having problems - through all the ups and downs, she became more of a recluse. I moved on to a different department, then she quit, but we still remained friends - it was just harder to connect, because we both would rather stay home than do almost anything else! After she turned down a couple of invitations, we just stopped contacting each other.
You know what? I think I'm going to shoot her a text. I'll let you know what happens!
Atbilde no FormerlyKnownAs
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 12:54 PM
-1. Loyal enough to help me hide a dead whore.
-2. How much personal stuff you feel comfortable sharing with them.
-3. Grew up around the corner from each other since 6th grade.
-4. Not since I found out I was adopted.
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 3:45 PM
Gothish, you and I are a lot alike in many ways- but we knew that.
For example, your mention of a favorite aunt and having get-togethers with her family is almost identical to something that happens now in my family. I have one aunt (my dad's younger sister) and two cousins (her two kids) with whom we still get together about twice a year (generally between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then at Easter). They're the only "extended" family that we (my parents, sis and myself) still get together with, but it's very nice and I'm always glad we did it. That's kind of what I was referring to when I said I understood why people decided to get together with smaller "sub-groups" of family- the nice ones! 
And I think that's cool you're going to shoot that old friend a text. Sometimes even when people are reclusive, it's still a treat to hear from others, and I'm sure she'll love hearing from someone as nice as you.
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 3, 2018 at 3:48 PM
I'm not going to ask about #1.
But yeah, someone you can trust. Trust is definitely a repeating theme here. And I guess I should add that my second most important quality is someone who is kind. (As usual, I'm bending the rules, but there are LOTS of good qualities to look for!)
Atbilde no CalabrianQueen
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 10:00 AM
I remember watching "The Town" and Ben Affleck's character shows up at his friends house with a bat and tells him "I can't tell you what's going on or why but grab a bat because we have to hurt some people". His friend grabs a bat and goes with him without any further elaboration.
A lot of people saw that as an example of true friendship.
Atbilde no FormerlyKnownAs
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 12:48 PM
To paraphrase...
The enemy of my friend....
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 1:55 PM
But then there's the flip-side. Is someone really a good friend if they put someone else in a position to get arrested? Just food for thought.
Atbilde no FormerlyKnownAs
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 4:54 PM
When it comes to friendship at that level--YES!
It’s just understood; YOU KNOW they want to be at your side and would be insulted that you didn’t think enough of their friendship to call them to help you handle-your-business.
Getting arrested isn’t always the worst thing that can happen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE
Isn’t there anyone you’d risk going to jail for if push-came-to-shove?
TRUE FRIENDSHIP
True Story (happened many, many, many moons ago in another state—so, OK to relate)…
Two friends of a friend stole evidence FROM POLICE (inside the courtroom) while their friend, the accused, was waiting to go before the judge. Now, those are what I call TRUE FRIENDS!
Atbilde no tmdb19868063
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 5:09 PM
I think there are other things to consider, though. For instance, I've got two sons who'd probably prefer that mama not be in prison, and I have to think about them. However, would I go to prison for them- you better believe it!
It also depends on the length of time in prison. For example, would I go and protest some injustice with a friend if it meant a whole lot to them, and I risked spending a night in prison if arrested- I just might!
Atbilde no CalabrianQueen
on janvāris 4, 2018 at 8:42 PM
Well, in the movie they're professional bank robbers with no regard for the law, so whether what they were doing was legal or not wasn't important .
What was important the fact that his childhood friend trusted his motivations for doing said crime enough not to ask questions.
Clearly we WOULD ask questions but that's how the writer chose to portray their relationship.
It's actually a really interesting movie, especially among New englanders since it takes place in Boston.