"Read less, more tv."

"Are you comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree."

"People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not gonna crush you."

"So I'm the guy, but you want the other guy, who, by definition, can never be the guy."

"So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I've got the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things turn rough."

"I'm not going to kiss you, no matter what you say."

Cameron: "I thought you seminary boys were against the death penalty. Department of Justice statistics show that it's a racially motivated form of punishment. Black defendants are 10 times more likely to get a death sentence than whites."

Foreman: "Doesn't mean we need to get rid of the death penalty. Just means we need to kill more white people."

Stacy: "You know what Woody Allen said about relationships? 'Irrational and crazy, but we go through it all because...'"

House: "'... we need the curry'."

"The ultimate woman is a man."

"Gohhh. What were we talking about?"

"What's that saying where you assume you become a pain in the ass to me?"

"It is not easy, but it is simple."

" True love. That’s just how we match organs these days."

Wilson: "Just because he was right, doesn't mean he wasn't wrong."

"He hurts you to help you. Well, I guess it's better than because he hates you."

"Hector does go rug"