@MrCharmingMan said:

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

Hey Buddy you are amazing! Please elaborate on everything you just posted if possible?

First off are you male/female? I don't want to generalize but I think we can all agree it's much easier for females than males, as generally speaking society has men chasing women and women pretty much say yay or nay. With being said women have the whole biological clock ticking deadline too that men don't have, I don't say thats always true but I get their points whenever anyone brings this up. I do think both men and women should try to have kids when they are relatively young and healthy just so that have higher risks of healthier babies and being healthy enough to play and be there for the babies till adult hood etc. But at the same time I don't think everyone should have kids, as we know theres a ton of bad parents to horrible parents out there who probably should have never had a kid at all.

I'm not even a HUGE fan of marriage I think its pretty flawed and unrealistic as most marriages fail and the odds and statistics show that its a broken highly fallible institution. But I believe in people finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one.

But yes most people should at least feel LOVE or what its like to be IN LOVE at least once in their lives it seems if you don't life is kinda pointless or at least motivation less. Yes you do have people who devote their lives like your Mother Theresa friend which I do think is also noble and pretty much the only exception if one were to be so amazing like that, then situations like these would be a totally legit reason to live that way and go that route. I kinda see Angelina Jolie like that and like you, where she was much wilder in her younger days but now shes pretty much a full time humanitarian and adopted a ton of kids from all over the world and truly loves and cares of them all.

I think you made another great point on how your last experience was so incredible you assume all other future relationships will be so inferior in comparison, I think thats also a legitimate reason to why a lot of people stay single, because they always pine or know it will never live up to the one who got away!

But with all of those people you mentioned especially the scientists and inventors, they tend to be extremely intelligent and brilliant to the point where they are outcasts or cannot even function or socially interact with other more common folks in society, and that may be another reason why they all stayed single and virgins, but again thats not how my friends are. My friends are average joes with average jobs/lives situations. They just have way too many BS excuses as to why they are the way they are. I mean if one is not extremely physically challenged/or like I guess hooked up to a machine to even breathe and live, then there's really no excuse why they can't go out and TRY to meet people. I think even those extremely physically challenged people still even use the internet to meet chicks and probably have done far more than my friends, sadly.

Deep thoughts my friend! It's tricky separating the doers from the average joes, but you're right it makes a world of difference what kind of ambition a person has. I hate it whenever I hear of some exceptional person (entertainer, athlete, etc) who retires from the game "to focus on family". It's like aw how lame, they were destined for so much more. But the flip side is the average joe camp where they can contribute the most by being a good husband, wife, parent, rather than running around chasing windmills and dying lonely.

Elaborations...... me I'm a dude. I gather you & I are about the same age or maybe I'm a hair younger because I didn't see Magnum until it was in syndication. My female friend was about 10 years older, and in case you didn't already guess yes there was a little sexual what-if lingering between us. If my life were a bad romcom (which I haven't ruled out yet) she & I would've had an awkward hookup and resulting hijinks, but luckily no dice. I do think her being a virgin pushed her into activism more, or at the very least she wasn't distracted with relationships so she had more time to devote to bigger things.

And all joking about geniuses aside, I think that's what it comes down to: how a person fills the hours of a day. A relationship takes up a ton of time, I'd say at least 1/3 to half your waking hours which can add up. Not to mention there are so many career compromises that we make when we're in a relationship. Can't exactly "fly off to Rome at a moments notice" as Harry told Sally. But by that same argument, if the person has nothing to fill the hours of the day, especially later in life, it can be pure hell to be alone staring at the clock on the wall. That's why I'm tending toward you helping your aging virgin friend in finding a relationship or at least a hookup to say he did.

Are you in a relationship, and what are your thoughts regarding your own life? If you're in a relationship, is it the kind you mentioned: "finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one." That is the golden ticket. Going back to creative geniuses, there have been tons of great achievers who succeeded only after they found the support of a soulmate. Just last night I saw a Bogie/Bacall movie and went down the rabbit hole reading about how Bogie supported her when it looked like her career was fizzling out, he got her some good roles and the 2 of them together lit up Hollywood. So relationships/marriage aren't always fighting against ambition; sometimes like you said there are benefits both ways.

Not gonna lie, I would leap at a Bogie/Bacall match lol. Although I haven't been active in a while I'm sorta in the entertainment line, nothing exciting mostly technical production stuff although I've been on screen, and I've always wanted to hitch my trailer to another rising star. That describes the last relationship I mentioned, we were both in entertainment so it was a romantic match as well as career. It kinda set the bar pretty high, so how can I follow that? By not even trying lol

Hey buddy thanks for sharing and elaborating. Wow your life does sound like a bad rom com lol you should write a script! So you worked in the Entertainment Industry too? I'm going to be honest with you and say I also did. So do you life in the SoCal area then for Hollywood???

I myself moved down here originally for this purpose. I've pretty much done it all. I am in SAG, I've done mostly stunt work, and primarily principal work in commercials just because we all know they are easier to land and pay way better, and the foods way better on commercial sets as you already know! I still do a project once in a blue moon but with the pandemic shutting everything down and then the writers strike after that I've not done anything industry related since wow I can't even remember. I've also dabbled in some producing, casting, and even talent representation as well. I kinda did it all but never really took things to the next level. (This would be an entirely different topic though.) This went from an initial dream goal to now just whenever I get a call and I'm big fan of the people in the project I might take the job. I've since pretty much been a full time entrepreneur ever since owning a few small businesses.

So you were doing like set crew work or post production? I know those post production guys make a ton of money. I knew this one guy he did post production for a ton of the FOX movies and FOX pretty much bought him a pimp condo high-rise right next door in Century City. It would be interesting though how alot of these guys might end up getting replaced by AI??

As for you and your female friend that is great at least for her and how she ended up doing all her noble work and causes. I think thats pretty much the exception. Although I don't think her being a virgin really has anything to do with it though unless shes in some super strict religious Nun program or something? Also a lot of married couples do traveling missionary work too where they even have kids of their own all living in some of the most remote parts of the world doing their missionary missions. She is 10 years older so I'm assuming her child baring days are over anyway. So maybe not for the purpose of having babies, but she could still have sex for other biological needs of course. I think it would be cool to have sex with an older attractive lady knowing you can't get them pregnant but thats a total different topic lol.

I'm assuming you are still perfectly able to find someone to eventual date on a serious level or even settle down with. I do think living in LA has its pros and cons. Pros being the weather is the best, and we always have a ton of hotties galore everywhere, but the cons, the fake, shallow, unreliable people, horrible traffic, high cost of living etc. But yes LA is always great for older people remaining sexy here and dating later in their older years when in comparison to the midwest or south of course. Wait so was she the one who got away or was that girl a totally different one? If so please elaborate.

Man I never knew the true history of Bogie and Bacall and how you said Bogie would help her get roles. I guess he did have all the power and fame back then to pull those string for her but Damn she was fine as hell. The pictures of a prime Bacall she looks like Fergie but way hotter! This reminds me of that Key Largo song by Bertie Higgins:

We had it all Just like Bogie and Bacall Starring in our own late, late show Sailing away to Key Largo

But yeah going back to LA/Hollywood and dating I dated a ton. You got everything out here from wannabe actresses, wannabe models, wannabe entertainment power players etc. Unfortunately it's like that even in real estate, business, pretty much all other industries as well. So what I found kinda almost too late was its good to have fun, date a ton of hot chicks here but obviously don't settle down with them and DO NOT get any of these types of girls pregnant. The more serious relationships I had was with girls who had nothing to do with the entertainment industry at all. They were nurses, engineers, medical field mostly and I almost made it a rule that they had to have no desire to work in the entertainment industry at all lol. This would weave out and eliminate any toxic BS drama and limit me to only decent women.

I've dated the same lady now for about 13 years now off and on and shes pretty much been the only one who's lasted as all the other ones either eliminated themselves or thankfully went MIA after a while. I think the pandemic itself really established who are real true friends are and any potential life long relationships we were going to have. The REAL ones actually called and checked up on you. While all the toxic ones didn't even bother unless they needed something from you.

I'm not exactly pro marriage due to the horrible divorces in my family and how they ruined so many lives. I just feel theres too much pressure and BS unrealistic expectations and the statistics alone show most fail then succeed. I am for finding the one, and having a serious relationship, settling down going half and half on a house, having kids or not if you want to.

Man you hit so many great topics I don’t know where to start. The entertainment biz & dating within that circle…! Well first of all no, I never lived in LA or Hollywood though I’ve visited and loved it. I’m on the east coast so all my gigs are in NYC or some of the smaller rising hubs like Philly or Baltimore. Believe it or not… shh don’t tell… there are a TON of great movie & tv gigs in Wilmington NC of all places. I guess the market isn’t saturated with talent so the demand for actors & crew is high. Me I’m mostly in post production, sound & some editing, which pays well you’re right but there’s no glamor in staring at a dumb computer screen. I’d love to get in front of the camera again, but it’s like you said Covid killed everything and I haven’t done much since.

Stunt work, woah that’s awesome! I once got shoved by Laurence Fishburn (he was improvising) and right after the scene the AD pulled me aside and said, you know you get bump pay now? And I was like huh what’s that? As a stunt man you know the answer: a ton more $$$ 😃 But wow that’s so cool that it was your specialty. I always had the highest respect for the stunt team because it’s such a big deal, like they would clear the set and bring in rescue crews & firefighters, then the stunt guys would show up like rockstars and do their thing, even if it’s just fishtailing an Olds for a 0.5 sec shot.

Man I’m getting way off topic and I haven’t even brought up the entertainment dating scene. I can’t imagine what it’s like in LA with all the supermodels per capita. Well maybe I can… my visit to LA was intimidating to say the least 😅

Ok but this actually ties in with your original question about helping your 40+ year old virgin buddies. If they’re basically addicted to the strip club (c)orn scene, especially there in LA, it may be a lost cause bringing them back down to reality. How can any normal, wholesome girl compete with professionals whose job is to make men feel like Hercules while flaunting body parts we didn’t know existed! What I’m saying is maybe your friends have dug a fantasy so deep, and fake, that they wouldn’t know what to do with a real relationship if it landed in their lap (minus the dancing). That may be why they keep ditching your efforts to help. It’s not that they don’t want a girlfriend, it’s that their ideal doesn’t exist.

It sounds like you got out clean. I mean you had your fun and then shifted to something more substantial like your 13-year relationship with a lady who’s outside the entertainment pool. Smart move but your friends are still trapped.

Nah my recent relationship was someone totally different, not the humanitarian chick. To be honest it was the first time I’d entertained the thought of ‘the one’. Not that I’m any swingin playboy by any stretch of the imagination. I just never considered settling down because life has too many adventures ahead. I haven’t even lived in LA yet! 😜

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

Hey Buddy you are amazing! Please elaborate on everything you just posted if possible?

First off are you male/female? I don't want to generalize but I think we can all agree it's much easier for females than males, as generally speaking society has men chasing women and women pretty much say yay or nay. With being said women have the whole biological clock ticking deadline too that men don't have, I don't say thats always true but I get their points whenever anyone brings this up. I do think both men and women should try to have kids when they are relatively young and healthy just so that have higher risks of healthier babies and being healthy enough to play and be there for the babies till adult hood etc. But at the same time I don't think everyone should have kids, as we know theres a ton of bad parents to horrible parents out there who probably should have never had a kid at all.

I'm not even a HUGE fan of marriage I think its pretty flawed and unrealistic as most marriages fail and the odds and statistics show that its a broken highly fallible institution. But I believe in people finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one.

But yes most people should at least feel LOVE or what its like to be IN LOVE at least once in their lives it seems if you don't life is kinda pointless or at least motivation less. Yes you do have people who devote their lives like your Mother Theresa friend which I do think is also noble and pretty much the only exception if one were to be so amazing like that, then situations like these would be a totally legit reason to live that way and go that route. I kinda see Angelina Jolie like that and like you, where she was much wilder in her younger days but now shes pretty much a full time humanitarian and adopted a ton of kids from all over the world and truly loves and cares of them all.

I think you made another great point on how your last experience was so incredible you assume all other future relationships will be so inferior in comparison, I think thats also a legitimate reason to why a lot of people stay single, because they always pine or know it will never live up to the one who got away!

But with all of those people you mentioned especially the scientists and inventors, they tend to be extremely intelligent and brilliant to the point where they are outcasts or cannot even function or socially interact with other more common folks in society, and that may be another reason why they all stayed single and virgins, but again thats not how my friends are. My friends are average joes with average jobs/lives situations. They just have way too many BS excuses as to why they are the way they are. I mean if one is not extremely physically challenged/or like I guess hooked up to a machine to even breathe and live, then there's really no excuse why they can't go out and TRY to meet people. I think even those extremely physically challenged people still even use the internet to meet chicks and probably have done far more than my friends, sadly.

Deep thoughts my friend! It's tricky separating the doers from the average joes, but you're right it makes a world of difference what kind of ambition a person has. I hate it whenever I hear of some exceptional person (entertainer, athlete, etc) who retires from the game "to focus on family". It's like aw how lame, they were destined for so much more. But the flip side is the average joe camp where they can contribute the most by being a good husband, wife, parent, rather than running around chasing windmills and dying lonely.

Elaborations...... me I'm a dude. I gather you & I are about the same age or maybe I'm a hair younger because I didn't see Magnum until it was in syndication. My female friend was about 10 years older, and in case you didn't already guess yes there was a little sexual what-if lingering between us. If my life were a bad romcom (which I haven't ruled out yet) she & I would've had an awkward hookup and resulting hijinks, but luckily no dice. I do think her being a virgin pushed her into activism more, or at the very least she wasn't distracted with relationships so she had more time to devote to bigger things.

And all joking about geniuses aside, I think that's what it comes down to: how a person fills the hours of a day. A relationship takes up a ton of time, I'd say at least 1/3 to half your waking hours which can add up. Not to mention there are so many career compromises that we make when we're in a relationship. Can't exactly "fly off to Rome at a moments notice" as Harry told Sally. But by that same argument, if the person has nothing to fill the hours of the day, especially later in life, it can be pure hell to be alone staring at the clock on the wall. That's why I'm tending toward you helping your aging virgin friend in finding a relationship or at least a hookup to say he did.

Are you in a relationship, and what are your thoughts regarding your own life? If you're in a relationship, is it the kind you mentioned: "finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one." That is the golden ticket. Going back to creative geniuses, there have been tons of great achievers who succeeded only after they found the support of a soulmate. Just last night I saw a Bogie/Bacall movie and went down the rabbit hole reading about how Bogie supported her when it looked like her career was fizzling out, he got her some good roles and the 2 of them together lit up Hollywood. So relationships/marriage aren't always fighting against ambition; sometimes like you said there are benefits both ways.

Not gonna lie, I would leap at a Bogie/Bacall match lol. Although I haven't been active in a while I'm sorta in the entertainment line, nothing exciting mostly technical production stuff although I've been on screen, and I've always wanted to hitch my trailer to another rising star. That describes the last relationship I mentioned, we were both in entertainment so it was a romantic match as well as career. It kinda set the bar pretty high, so how can I follow that? By not even trying lol

Hey buddy thanks for sharing and elaborating. Wow your life does sound like a bad rom com lol you should write a script! So you worked in the Entertainment Industry too? I'm going to be honest with you and say I also did. So do you life in the SoCal area then for Hollywood???

I myself moved down here originally for this purpose. I've pretty much done it all. I am in SAG, I've done mostly stunt work, and primarily principal work in commercials just because we all know they are easier to land and pay way better, and the foods way better on commercial sets as you already know! I still do a project once in a blue moon but with the pandemic shutting everything down and then the writers strike after that I've not done anything industry related since wow I can't even remember. I've also dabbled in some producing, casting, and even talent representation as well. I kinda did it all but never really took things to the next level. (This would be an entirely different topic though.) This went from an initial dream goal to now just whenever I get a call and I'm big fan of the people in the project I might take the job. I've since pretty much been a full time entrepreneur ever since owning a few small businesses.

So you were doing like set crew work or post production? I know those post production guys make a ton of money. I knew this one guy he did post production for a ton of the FOX movies and FOX pretty much bought him a pimp condo high-rise right next door in Century City. It would be interesting though how alot of these guys might end up getting replaced by AI??

As for you and your female friend that is great at least for her and how she ended up doing all her noble work and causes. I think thats pretty much the exception. Although I don't think her being a virgin really has anything to do with it though unless shes in some super strict religious Nun program or something? Also a lot of married couples do traveling missionary work too where they even have kids of their own all living in some of the most remote parts of the world doing their missionary missions. She is 10 years older so I'm assuming her child baring days are over anyway. So maybe not for the purpose of having babies, but she could still have sex for other biological needs of course. I think it would be cool to have sex with an older attractive lady knowing you can't get them pregnant but thats a total different topic lol.

I'm assuming you are still perfectly able to find someone to eventual date on a serious level or even settle down with. I do think living in LA has its pros and cons. Pros being the weather is the best, and we always have a ton of hotties galore everywhere, but the cons, the fake, shallow, unreliable people, horrible traffic, high cost of living etc. But yes LA is always great for older people remaining sexy here and dating later in their older years when in comparison to the midwest or south of course. Wait so was she the one who got away or was that girl a totally different one? If so please elaborate.

Man I never knew the true history of Bogie and Bacall and how you said Bogie would help her get roles. I guess he did have all the power and fame back then to pull those string for her but Damn she was fine as hell. The pictures of a prime Bacall she looks like Fergie but way hotter! This reminds me of that Key Largo song by Bertie Higgins:

We had it all Just like Bogie and Bacall Starring in our own late, late show Sailing away to Key Largo

But yeah going back to LA/Hollywood and dating I dated a ton. You got everything out here from wannabe actresses, wannabe models, wannabe entertainment power players etc. Unfortunately it's like that even in real estate, business, pretty much all other industries as well. So what I found kinda almost too late was its good to have fun, date a ton of hot chicks here but obviously don't settle down with them and DO NOT get any of these types of girls pregnant. The more serious relationships I had was with girls who had nothing to do with the entertainment industry at all. They were nurses, engineers, medical field mostly and I almost made it a rule that they had to have no desire to work in the entertainment industry at all lol. This would weave out and eliminate any toxic BS drama and limit me to only decent women.

I've dated the same lady now for about 13 years now off and on and shes pretty much been the only one who's lasted as all the other ones either eliminated themselves or thankfully went MIA after a while. I think the pandemic itself really established who are real true friends are and any potential life long relationships we were going to have. The REAL ones actually called and checked up on you. While all the toxic ones didn't even bother unless they needed something from you.

I'm not exactly pro marriage due to the horrible divorces in my family and how they ruined so many lives. I just feel theres too much pressure and BS unrealistic expectations and the statistics alone show most fail then succeed. I am for finding the one, and having a serious relationship, settling down going half and half on a house, having kids or not if you want to.

Man you hit so many great topics I don’t know where to start. The entertainment biz & dating within that circle…! Well first of all no, I never lived in LA or Hollywood though I’ve visited and loved it. I’m on the east coast so all my gigs are in NYC or some of the smaller rising hubs like Philly or Baltimore. Believe it or not… shh don’t tell… there are a TON of great movie & tv gigs in Wilmington NC of all places. I guess the market isn’t saturated with talent so the demand for actors & crew is high. Me I’m mostly in post production, sound & some editing, which pays well you’re right but there’s no glamor in staring at a dumb computer screen. I’d love to get in front of the camera again, but it’s like you said Covid killed everything and I haven’t done much since.

Stunt work, woah that’s awesome! I once got shoved by Laurence Fishburn (he was improvising) and right after the scene the AD pulled me aside and said, you know you get bump pay now? And I was like huh what’s that? As a stunt man you know the answer: a ton more $$$ 😃 But wow that’s so cool that it was your specialty. I always had the highest respect for the stunt team because it’s such a big deal, like they would clear the set and bring in rescue crews & firefighters, then the stunt guys would show up like rockstars and do their thing, even if it’s just fishtailing an Olds for a 0.5 sec shot.

Man I’m getting way off topic and I haven’t even brought up the entertainment dating scene. I can’t imagine what it’s like in LA with all the supermodels per capita. Well maybe I can… my visit to LA was intimidating to say the least 😅

Ok but this actually ties in with your original question about helping your 40+ year old virgin buddies. If they’re basically addicted to the strip club (c)orn scene, especially there in LA, it may be a lost cause bringing them back down to reality. How can any normal, wholesome girl compete with professionals whose job is to make men feel like Hercules while flaunting body parts we didn’t know existed! What I’m saying is maybe your friends have dug a fantasy so deep, and fake, that they wouldn’t know what to do with a real relationship if it landed in their lap (minus the dancing). That may be why they keep ditching your efforts to help. It’s not that they don’t want a girlfriend, it’s that their ideal doesn’t exist.

It sounds like you got out clean. I mean you had your fun and then shifted to something more substantial like your 13-year relationship with a lady who’s outside the entertainment pool. Smart move but your friends are still trapped.

Nah my recent relationship was someone totally different, not the humanitarian chick. To be honest it was the first time I’d entertained the thought of ‘the one’. Not that I’m any swingin playboy by any stretch of the imagination. I just never considered settling down because life has too many adventures ahead. I haven’t even lived in LA yet! 😜

"I’d love to get in front of the camera again"

Can you tell us what productions you have been in?

@bratface said:

"I’d love to get in front of the camera again"

Can you tell us what productions you have been in?

That’s one of my most closely guarded secrets 😅

It’s because I did such a horrifically bad job of acting, if it ever got linked to me it would ruin any hope of my career moving forward. I changed my stage name several times to kill the trail lol

Still I regret nothing… I had fun, learned a ton, and if I ever get any more big opportunities I’ll know not to be such a knucklehead 😬

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

Hey Buddy you are amazing! Please elaborate on everything you just posted if possible?

First off are you male/female? I don't want to generalize but I think we can all agree it's much easier for females than males, as generally speaking society has men chasing women and women pretty much say yay or nay. With being said women have the whole biological clock ticking deadline too that men don't have, I don't say thats always true but I get their points whenever anyone brings this up. I do think both men and women should try to have kids when they are relatively young and healthy just so that have higher risks of healthier babies and being healthy enough to play and be there for the babies till adult hood etc. But at the same time I don't think everyone should have kids, as we know theres a ton of bad parents to horrible parents out there who probably should have never had a kid at all.

I'm not even a HUGE fan of marriage I think its pretty flawed and unrealistic as most marriages fail and the odds and statistics show that its a broken highly fallible institution. But I believe in people finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one.

But yes most people should at least feel LOVE or what its like to be IN LOVE at least once in their lives it seems if you don't life is kinda pointless or at least motivation less. Yes you do have people who devote their lives like your Mother Theresa friend which I do think is also noble and pretty much the only exception if one were to be so amazing like that, then situations like these would be a totally legit reason to live that way and go that route. I kinda see Angelina Jolie like that and like you, where she was much wilder in her younger days but now shes pretty much a full time humanitarian and adopted a ton of kids from all over the world and truly loves and cares of them all.

I think you made another great point on how your last experience was so incredible you assume all other future relationships will be so inferior in comparison, I think thats also a legitimate reason to why a lot of people stay single, because they always pine or know it will never live up to the one who got away!

But with all of those people you mentioned especially the scientists and inventors, they tend to be extremely intelligent and brilliant to the point where they are outcasts or cannot even function or socially interact with other more common folks in society, and that may be another reason why they all stayed single and virgins, but again thats not how my friends are. My friends are average joes with average jobs/lives situations. They just have way too many BS excuses as to why they are the way they are. I mean if one is not extremely physically challenged/or like I guess hooked up to a machine to even breathe and live, then there's really no excuse why they can't go out and TRY to meet people. I think even those extremely physically challenged people still even use the internet to meet chicks and probably have done far more than my friends, sadly.

Deep thoughts my friend! It's tricky separating the doers from the average joes, but you're right it makes a world of difference what kind of ambition a person has. I hate it whenever I hear of some exceptional person (entertainer, athlete, etc) who retires from the game "to focus on family". It's like aw how lame, they were destined for so much more. But the flip side is the average joe camp where they can contribute the most by being a good husband, wife, parent, rather than running around chasing windmills and dying lonely.

Elaborations...... me I'm a dude. I gather you & I are about the same age or maybe I'm a hair younger because I didn't see Magnum until it was in syndication. My female friend was about 10 years older, and in case you didn't already guess yes there was a little sexual what-if lingering between us. If my life were a bad romcom (which I haven't ruled out yet) she & I would've had an awkward hookup and resulting hijinks, but luckily no dice. I do think her being a virgin pushed her into activism more, or at the very least she wasn't distracted with relationships so she had more time to devote to bigger things.

And all joking about geniuses aside, I think that's what it comes down to: how a person fills the hours of a day. A relationship takes up a ton of time, I'd say at least 1/3 to half your waking hours which can add up. Not to mention there are so many career compromises that we make when we're in a relationship. Can't exactly "fly off to Rome at a moments notice" as Harry told Sally. But by that same argument, if the person has nothing to fill the hours of the day, especially later in life, it can be pure hell to be alone staring at the clock on the wall. That's why I'm tending toward you helping your aging virgin friend in finding a relationship or at least a hookup to say he did.

Are you in a relationship, and what are your thoughts regarding your own life? If you're in a relationship, is it the kind you mentioned: "finding the one or life partner or at least long term partner and living together or not and having a healthy relationship that benefits BOTH parties not just one." That is the golden ticket. Going back to creative geniuses, there have been tons of great achievers who succeeded only after they found the support of a soulmate. Just last night I saw a Bogie/Bacall movie and went down the rabbit hole reading about how Bogie supported her when it looked like her career was fizzling out, he got her some good roles and the 2 of them together lit up Hollywood. So relationships/marriage aren't always fighting against ambition; sometimes like you said there are benefits both ways.

Not gonna lie, I would leap at a Bogie/Bacall match lol. Although I haven't been active in a while I'm sorta in the entertainment line, nothing exciting mostly technical production stuff although I've been on screen, and I've always wanted to hitch my trailer to another rising star. That describes the last relationship I mentioned, we were both in entertainment so it was a romantic match as well as career. It kinda set the bar pretty high, so how can I follow that? By not even trying lol

Hey buddy thanks for sharing and elaborating. Wow your life does sound like a bad rom com lol you should write a script! So you worked in the Entertainment Industry too? I'm going to be honest with you and say I also did. So do you life in the SoCal area then for Hollywood???

I myself moved down here originally for this purpose. I've pretty much done it all. I am in SAG, I've done mostly stunt work, and primarily principal work in commercials just because we all know they are easier to land and pay way better, and the foods way better on commercial sets as you already know! I still do a project once in a blue moon but with the pandemic shutting everything down and then the writers strike after that I've not done anything industry related since wow I can't even remember. I've also dabbled in some producing, casting, and even talent representation as well. I kinda did it all but never really took things to the next level. (This would be an entirely different topic though.) This went from an initial dream goal to now just whenever I get a call and I'm big fan of the people in the project I might take the job. I've since pretty much been a full time entrepreneur ever since owning a few small businesses.

So you were doing like set crew work or post production? I know those post production guys make a ton of money. I knew this one guy he did post production for a ton of the FOX movies and FOX pretty much bought him a pimp condo high-rise right next door in Century City. It would be interesting though how alot of these guys might end up getting replaced by AI??

As for you and your female friend that is great at least for her and how she ended up doing all her noble work and causes. I think thats pretty much the exception. Although I don't think her being a virgin really has anything to do with it though unless shes in some super strict religious Nun program or something? Also a lot of married couples do traveling missionary work too where they even have kids of their own all living in some of the most remote parts of the world doing their missionary missions. She is 10 years older so I'm assuming her child baring days are over anyway. So maybe not for the purpose of having babies, but she could still have sex for other biological needs of course. I think it would be cool to have sex with an older attractive lady knowing you can't get them pregnant but thats a total different topic lol.

I'm assuming you are still perfectly able to find someone to eventual date on a serious level or even settle down with. I do think living in LA has its pros and cons. Pros being the weather is the best, and we always have a ton of hotties galore everywhere, but the cons, the fake, shallow, unreliable people, horrible traffic, high cost of living etc. But yes LA is always great for older people remaining sexy here and dating later in their older years when in comparison to the midwest or south of course. Wait so was she the one who got away or was that girl a totally different one? If so please elaborate.

Man I never knew the true history of Bogie and Bacall and how you said Bogie would help her get roles. I guess he did have all the power and fame back then to pull those string for her but Damn she was fine as hell. The pictures of a prime Bacall she looks like Fergie but way hotter! This reminds me of that Key Largo song by Bertie Higgins:

We had it all Just like Bogie and Bacall Starring in our own late, late show Sailing away to Key Largo

But yeah going back to LA/Hollywood and dating I dated a ton. You got everything out here from wannabe actresses, wannabe models, wannabe entertainment power players etc. Unfortunately it's like that even in real estate, business, pretty much all other industries as well. So what I found kinda almost too late was its good to have fun, date a ton of hot chicks here but obviously don't settle down with them and DO NOT get any of these types of girls pregnant. The more serious relationships I had was with girls who had nothing to do with the entertainment industry at all. They were nurses, engineers, medical field mostly and I almost made it a rule that they had to have no desire to work in the entertainment industry at all lol. This would weave out and eliminate any toxic BS drama and limit me to only decent women.

I've dated the same lady now for about 13 years now off and on and shes pretty much been the only one who's lasted as all the other ones either eliminated themselves or thankfully went MIA after a while. I think the pandemic itself really established who are real true friends are and any potential life long relationships we were going to have. The REAL ones actually called and checked up on you. While all the toxic ones didn't even bother unless they needed something from you.

I'm not exactly pro marriage due to the horrible divorces in my family and how they ruined so many lives. I just feel theres too much pressure and BS unrealistic expectations and the statistics alone show most fail then succeed. I am for finding the one, and having a serious relationship, settling down going half and half on a house, having kids or not if you want to.

Man you hit so many great topics I don’t know where to start. The entertainment biz & dating within that circle…! Well first of all no, I never lived in LA or Hollywood though I’ve visited and loved it. I’m on the east coast so all my gigs are in NYC or some of the smaller rising hubs like Philly or Baltimore. Believe it or not… shh don’t tell… there are a TON of great movie & tv gigs in Wilmington NC of all places. I guess the market isn’t saturated with talent so the demand for actors & crew is high. Me I’m mostly in post production, sound & some editing, which pays well you’re right but there’s no glamor in staring at a dumb computer screen. I’d love to get in front of the camera again, but it’s like you said Covid killed everything and I haven’t done much since.

Stunt work, woah that’s awesome! I once got shoved by Laurence Fishburn (he was improvising) and right after the scene the AD pulled me aside and said, you know you get bump pay now? And I was like huh what’s that? As a stunt man you know the answer: a ton more $$$ 😃 But wow that’s so cool that it was your specialty. I always had the highest respect for the stunt team because it’s such a big deal, like they would clear the set and bring in rescue crews & firefighters, then the stunt guys would show up like rockstars and do their thing, even if it’s just fishtailing an Olds for a 0.5 sec shot.

Man I’m getting way off topic and I haven’t even brought up the entertainment dating scene. I can’t imagine what it’s like in LA with all the supermodels per capita. Well maybe I can… my visit to LA was intimidating to say the least 😅

Ok but this actually ties in with your original question about helping your 40+ year old virgin buddies. If they’re basically addicted to the strip club (c)orn scene, especially there in LA, it may be a lost cause bringing them back down to reality. How can any normal, wholesome girl compete with professionals whose job is to make men feel like Hercules while flaunting body parts we didn’t know existed! What I’m saying is maybe your friends have dug a fantasy so deep, and fake, that they wouldn’t know what to do with a real relationship if it landed in their lap (minus the dancing). That may be why they keep ditching your efforts to help. It’s not that they don’t want a girlfriend, it’s that their ideal doesn’t exist.

It sounds like you got out clean. I mean you had your fun and then shifted to something more substantial like your 13-year relationship with a lady who’s outside the entertainment pool. Smart move but your friends are still trapped.

Nah my recent relationship was someone totally different, not the humanitarian chick. To be honest it was the first time I’d entertained the thought of ‘the one’. Not that I’m any swingin playboy by any stretch of the imagination. I just never considered settling down because life has too many adventures ahead. I haven’t even lived in LA yet! 😜

Yeah bro I would NEVER get serious with any wannabe LA actresses/models out here, I mean F buddies, Friends with benefits for sure but never anything serious, thats probably the most common man's downfall out here. Whoa so east coast? NYC? NC? Yeah NC had ton of those hit shows like Dawsons Creek and One Tree Hill all filmed down there. Like you said cast and crew were vary scarce so it be easier to work both as talent or production on those shows. One girl I went to HS with was fatter than Roseanne at her worst and worse looking too and she even got on both Dawsons Creek and One Tree Hill because they were super desperate for talent and production lol. I partied down in NC like twice and I remember the girls being super thirsty down there like one time I was with my mom in like a coffee shop and the waitress starts flirting with me to the point where its like yo keep your hands to yourself! LOL

But over all as hot as everyone is in LA, Miami is even hotter, but those 10's are mostly Cubans, Colombians, Argentinians, Brazilians and they are crazy fine as hell some look like the hottest Swedish bikini cover girl but can't even speak a word of English. But yeah easy to get laid out there but the drama is bad or even worse than LA. So in short both LA and Miami great fun for a weekend or so but prob bad idea to ever live in long term.

Yeah the stunt work was crazy! Man do I have stories. Basically I had a few buddies and even mentors who all showed me the fastest way to get into SAG is to do stunt work as pretty much all sets need more stunt players. They were right I got into SAG within like 60 days of moving to LA by going the stunt work route. But way too many of my friends were getting crazy hurt. A few of the mentors even ended up waking up in a hospital. One of my friends did all of Tobey's stunts in Spider Man, but no one walking down the street even knew who he was. I was like damn that must suck that no one knows that you are actually spider man doing all the actual action scenes and stunts and he said man I'm just trying to feed my family I don't care about that. One of my final straws was I was doing a cheesy commercial and I had to jump over this fire escape onto some break through boxes into basically a cushion of boxes and the box never broke as it was supposed to so the box basically bruised my ribs going full speed and I still have the bruises and scar on my ribs today and I said F this is totally not worth it. To get that hurt and it wasn't even a movie or tv show but a stupid dorky commercial. So I ended up trying casting, talent representation, and even producing after that. Then after several years of all that BS I got more into actual non industry business and entrepreneurship which allowed me to move further out from Hollywood and into the burbs. After leaving living in Hollywood I was like whoa that place is a real hell hole. It's like how can anyone live there. The homeless drama is like million times worse and so out of control.

You are totally spot on on how they are not living in reality. I heard this is one of the problems of people who are addicted to P*rn their mind is way off from reality and they don't even know how to function in a realistic situation. Like both of them when they did once or twice ever even walk up to girls always went for the prime Pamela Anderson type who no normal average Joe even has business with even trying. I mean if for some 1 in million lottery winning ticket chance happen that the Pamela Anderson type says yes and gives their number to them then what? They still live with their parents and have never even been on a date before and wouldn't even know how to handle it. So we always encouraged them to go for more realistic but cute girls and they'd instantly refuse as if these girls were not worthy at all. So you are totally correct and dead on! I think as for the strip clubs at least they are touching a girl or the girls at least touching them which is probably far better than just looking at two people having sex and servicing themselves in the dark right? I mean if the stripper were to give them "favors" or even fully close the deed in the vip room would that count as them losing their V card?

What do you think? Does having sex from a stripper or professional count as one losing their V? I heard some studies show that most people do not consider that losing your V if the girl is a sex worker? I don't know what to make of that because technically you' still be having sex right? It's not like you'd be faking it or simulating it right? But either way I don't think they even had sex in a strip club either considering how they behave still. You can tell someone's a Virgin by how they talk and behave its like a childish, innocent ignorant manner that they all have and these guys still have that about them.

But man going back to this movie, I was dating this hot chick who look just like Kat Dennings, she was brunette and had huge DD's natural. She was the first girl I dated when I first moved to LA and it started off great but then it went down hill to all kinds of hell fast. Long story short she did a ton of drugs and her personality completely changed and she became rather insane. She was hot as hell but so damn crazy and drama. She like couldn't tell the truth to save her life. She ended up going further and further downward spiral, to the point where yeah I'll just leave it at that. I had to cut her off and dump her. After her it was crazy hot chick after crazy hot chick until I just pretty much avoided anyone who was either in the industry or LA party scene. I met the more decent girls from college, traveling on vacations, or the gym would sometimes have some hot decent chicks there just as long as they weren't trying to be actresses.

But tell us more about the one who got away? Let's spill all your guts and get everything out and cathartic release. Could she still possibly be in the picture even???? Where did you meet her? I think people explaining how they met girls always helps people like my friends too don't you think?

As for my friends one of them, actually both do graphic design so if they were to like do some free lance gigs they could possibly meet some cute chicks who need websites for their like hobbies or small businesses? I don't know I think that would be a great way for them to meet people, it would almost guarantee they meet people. I knew a really shy girl from college and she did graphic design and met a ton of chicks that way she was bisexual or back in college pretty much full lesbian as she only dated girls in college, ironically shes now married to some dorky Ryan Seacrest looking guy. What's funny was one of the two V friends actually randomly met a chick who came across one of his joke pages. She really liked his sense of humor and they both kinda hit it off, but then he F'd it up and ended up in the friend zone and she kept using him to vent about how bad her boyfriend was treating her.

Again this is why he and both of them are still V's whenever they do even have an opportunity they royally F it up and end up in the friend zone. They need to be more assertive, shoot aggressive at this point and be more smooth. They need swag as one of our mutual friends always says.

Haha lol about thirsty NC chicks in front of your mom! Yeah some of those small towns are dead until a production rolls in... that's when all the girls want to run away and join the circus. Can't blame them.

Mannnn once again so many interesting thoughts. I'm realizing there's a lot of complexity to this 40 year old virgin syndrome, and it ties in with the frightening incel phenomenon you mentioned earlier. The more you describe the situation it's basically like you're dealing with 40 year old incels, the only difference being (thankfully) they aren't filled with misguided rage. But the cause & symptoms are the same: they're a product of a flawed belief that every male should be banging supermodels. It sucks that they can't come down to reality and realize that in this life you get what you deserve, no more.

On the question of whether stripper/paid intimacy counts... Man I'm debating whether to tell a story. Sure why not. So it was at a time in my life when I was near rock bottom. Out of the blue some buddies called up and said Hey strip club in 1 hour we're on our way to pick you up. I didn't have anything better to do except dance with a bottle of vodka so I said yeah whatever. We get to the club and I'm feeling like a colossal dope for being there, til a stripper shows up at the table. As you probably know these girls are smarter than paid therapists. They know how to read any guy within seconds, so she picked up my vibe right away. My buddies saw me coming out of my shell so the next thing I know they paid for me to go to the VIP room with this chick. Dude... first of all nothing x-rated happened, if even pg13... We talked about her hometown of all things, while she's doing her routine in the raw, I tell you it was the best therapy in the world, a real connection.

If you see where I'm going with this, my answer to the question is Yes it can count if it's done right. But most guys like your friends would treat it like a sleazy meaningless hookup, and that's exactly what they get in return. That's on them. Its only what you make of it, at least in my case as well as Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas (great movie btw… might have to split this discussion into that board)!

Dude that sucks about busting up your ribs for a dumb commercial. But in retrospect maybe it saved your life because the next time would've been worse. I mean yeah, besides the nice paycheck what do you get from the job? Like your secret spiderman friend ... how do the lyrics go... "I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine, 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman, that makes Eastwood look so fine."

That also sucks big time about the chick who spiraled on drugs! I think that's the real culprit behind all the shallowness in the entertainment biz. It's not that these people are inherently flawed, it's that the drugs & the lifestyle sends them down that path. And the entertainment biz seems to thrive on it & amplify it. Imagine if any other profession had so much drug use, like imagine if librarians regularly did blow in the Goethe aisle. They'd be as nutty as the front page of TMZ 😬

I was lucky and dodged those bullets. The entertainment chick I mentioned was totally drug-free and more sane than I am. She was a singer--since I'm in the audio dept I occasionally meet musicians and that's my achilles heel. Dude she could look like the elephant man but if she has a voice I'm smitten lmao. Actually that might be something to consider if you're still trying to help your V friends... What's something that interests them that has nothing to do with looks or the plastic life? You mentioned comic con earlier, if you could ever convince them, that could be a great starting point. Maybe even the best of both worlds because I've seen some smoking hot chicks get dressed up for comic con, but in their downtime they're just harmless nerds who prefer videogames over the glamor life. It's like you said, it matters a lot how people meet. How & where did you meet your current squeeze?

@rooprect said:

Haha lol about thirsty NC chicks in front of your mom! Yeah some of those small towns are dead until a production rolls in... that's when all the girls want to run away and join the circus. Can't blame them.

Mannnn once again so many interesting thoughts. I'm realizing there's a lot of complexity to this 40 year old virgin syndrome, and it ties in with the frightening incel phenomenon you mentioned earlier. The more you describe the situation it's basically like you're dealing with 40 year old incels, the only difference being (thankfully) they aren't filled with misguided rage. But the cause & symptoms are the same: they're a product of a flawed belief that every male should be banging supermodels. It sucks that they can't come down to reality and realize that in this life you get what you deserve, no more.

On the question of whether stripper/paid intimacy counts... Man I'm debating whether to tell a story. Sure why not. So it was at a time in my life when I was near rock bottom. Out of the blue some buddies called up and said Hey strip club in 1 hour we're on our way to pick you up. I didn't have anything better to do except dance with a bottle of vodka so I said yeah whatever. We get to the club and I'm feeling like a colossal dope for being there, til a stripper shows up at the table. As you probably know these girls are smarter than paid therapists. They know how to read any guy within seconds, so she picked up my vibe right away. My buddies saw me coming out of my shell so the next thing I know they paid for me to go to the VIP room with this chick. Dude... first of all nothing x-rated happened, if even pg13... We talked about her hometown of all things, while she's doing her routine in the raw, I tell you it was the best therapy in the world, a real connection.

If you see where I'm going with this, my answer to the question is Yes it can count if it's done right. But most guys like your friends would treat it like a sleazy meaningless hookup, and that's exactly what they get in return. That's on them. Its only what you make of it, at least in my case as well as Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas (great movie btw… might have to split this discussion into that board)!

Dude that sucks about busting up your ribs for a dumb commercial. But in retrospect maybe it saved your life because the next time would've been worse. I mean yeah, besides the nice paycheck what do you get from the job? Like your secret spiderman friend ... how do the lyrics go... "I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine, 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman, that makes Eastwood look so fine."

That also sucks big time about the chick who spiraled on drugs! I think that's the real culprit behind all the shallowness in the entertainment biz. It's not that these people are inherently flawed, it's that the drugs & the lifestyle sends them down that path. And the entertainment biz seems to thrive on it & amplify it. Imagine if any other profession had so much drug use, like imagine if librarians regularly did blow in the Goethe aisle. They'd be as nutty as the front page of TMZ 😬

I was lucky and dodged those bullets. The entertainment chick I mentioned was totally drug-free and more sane than I am. She was a singer--since I'm in the audio dept I occasionally meet musicians and that's my achilles heel. Dude she could look like the elephant man but if she has a voice I'm smitten lmao. Actually that might be something to consider if you're still trying to help your V friends... What's something that interests them that has nothing to do with looks or the plastic life? You mentioned comic con earlier, if you could ever convince them, that could be a great starting point. Maybe even the best of both worlds because I've seen some smoking hot chicks get dressed up for comic con, but in their downtime they're just harmless nerds who prefer videogames over the glamor life. It's like you said, it matters a lot how people meet. How & where did you meet your current squeeze?

Wow great response! But yeah just to clarify I was in NC for a family function not for anything Dawsons Creek or OneTreeHIll fancy and the point was I was making was the girls down there are super forward to the point where they will straight up aggressively hit on you even when you are clearly with your mom lol. My mom was basically complaining to me about this senior who was totally jocking me when I was only a freshmen in HS and then the waitress gets super thirsty and butts in like so if your moms not approving of that girl allow me to introduce myself into this scenario. Like WTF??? Go get our salads and stay out of our private convo! LOL. I was partying in the Caribbean and South America wearing a Michael Jordan NC jersey and then group of hot chicks come up to me and start macking hard because of my jersey. I then realized ok these are North Carolina thirsty chicks! My advice to anyone who wants a hot NC chick just wear a NC MJ jersey and they will come to you! This has happened multiple times!

Yes you are dead on about their ridiculous unworthy standards of chicks. One of them who is broke as hell, still lives with his parents, went for this Sofia Vegara looking chick who obviously was light years out of his league and most men on this planet. She instantly friend zoned him and was even blatantly dating this real loser guy in his face. So the V friend literally blows his entire savings sending her like 1000 roses and then even Xmas gifts for her entire family so easily that was like $4,000 that he didn't even have. Instead of making it clear it was from him he puts the note as "Your Secret Admirer" and of course the jerk guy she was dating takes full credit for all of it and he the V friend never told her it was all from him. It's like WHAT?? WTF did he gain from that? NOTHING AT ALL if anything he added 4K of credit card debt to his already bad problems with literally no benefit from doing so at all. Rumor is that same chick got an STD from the jerk and he the V friend drove her to the std clinic to get treated. LIKE WTF??? Why drive the girl you love to the STD clinic for a STD that she got from banging some other guy and you didn't even get to bang her or even get any play from her at all!

Another friend of ours who was pretty bad but not as bad as these two was a hopeless/clueless V until age 23. Then one summer he did some student abroad program and over there he paid for some sketchy massage parlor that also provided him the chance to lose his V. This friend said he did that because every girl he met online stopped talking to him once he admitted he was V. After losing his V he did become less annoying but this guy was pretty unstable over all and ended up like becoming a real creepy stalker and we all pretty much cut him off. So I guess the point we are trying to make is losing your V does help make you less obnoxious but if you are not a good person before you pretty much are still the same creepy guy after as well. I will have to point out that both of these 2 V friends are not creepy or definitely not as creepy as this friend who lost his V studying abroad at some sketchy massage parlor, but again losing the V definitely matters as I pointed out this third friend would get ghosted as soon as the girls he was talking to found out her was V.

As for the sex worker/stripper debate. I think it does count if one were to lose their V to a SW or Stripper because sex is sex. People do change and mature once they are no longer V's. Also I was not passing judgment on them, or you or anyone who goes this route. Obviously use protection 24/7 and don't catch feelings and don't lose too much money on them if you go that route. I actually had some friendswithbenefts with some strippers and they were fine as hell but HELL NO would I ever consider having a serious relationship with them, shoot they never even knew my REAL name just a nick name I'd used in the clubs and bars lol. But yeah obviously it's a million times better if you lose your V to a hot girl you are actually dating or in a legit relationship with and not someone charging you by the hour or whatever lol. Also I don't think you have to justify doing what you did. I mean I think most men who are out of a bad relationship or on the rebound do go to strip clubs just to get drunk and have fun and not give a F. If anything strip clubs probably saved a lot of peoples lives and have done more good than bad if we are being completely honest. It's just the weirdo creepy guys who ALL THEY DO is go to strip clubs and never could go to a regular club or bar are the ones who may have the issues.

The problem with me is I lost my V to this smoking hot chick(normal hot chick not a stripper or SW obviously lol) back home that everyone was trying to get with. She was like the hottest girl in like 3 states lol. Like the real life Jessica Rabbit! It was totally luck that I was able to land her and lose my V to her. My parents were out of town that weekend and she was fighting with her boyfriend at the time. It was like all the stars lined up perfectly lol. Since she was so FINE and so good in bed, every girl after that was such a let down in comparison to her. This was the days before social media or even cell phones really so we had to write old school letters to each other just to keep things going lol. But she was my first and yeah every girl since her was like for the most part such a let down. Some lived up to her, very few exceeded her but yeah that could be the downside for losing your V to some super hot Jessica Rabbit looking 10 who is actually great in bed too.

But yeah back to you, so you are a sucker for a girl who can sing huh? I knew a kid from HS like that. He was this punk kid, got horrible grades but once he graduated he became some super religious, uptightwad and actually did well in business. A lot of girls liked him but he only had a thing for other super religious girls who can sing really good. He was in love with this one girl from his church who was all totally religious and smart and can sing really well in church. That girl ended up marrying the youth pastor which probably should be illegal since the youth pastor was pretty much eyeing her since she was only 13 and he was like 30! It broke the guys heart so all he did was go to church and be all religious and excel in his business. He then landed some like wanna be local beauty pageant winner who dumped him once she found out he was a V. She obviously wanted not only someone who was wealthy successful but also someone who was good in bed and not a V.

But yeah sorry back to you, if you like girls who can sing that should be pretty easy to find a lot of girls to fit that itch for you. Shoot even the local karaoke night should provide you with a ton of options right?

But yo what happened to the one who got away? Could she still possible be in the picture? Or has that ship definitely sailed for good? (like shes married or something).

To answer your question I met this most recent long term gf in Hawaii. We and a group of friends used to party in Hawaii every March which is spring break. We'd obviously have the time of our lives and the main reason I started going was because I was dating this really hot girl and she went to Hawaii without me once and it always made me feel insecure so after that I was like F it I'm start going to Hawaii and even start making it a yearly trip. What's funny is as much as we all partied and met a ton of chicks at the clubs and bars in Hawaii, we'd also meet a ton of girls on the beach too. I met her on the beach as she was with her family and she herself doesn't party as she doesn't even drink. So yeah she was pretty much the first and only girl I ever dated who didn't drink lol so I was like hey I might be on to something since she would not be out late night in the clubs/bars and getting wasted. She would be watching Dateline and CSI every Friday instead. So yeah meeting a girl on the beach in Hawaii aka Paradise is some bad romcom type of ish right? But hey it's lot better than meeting a girl drunk as F at the local dive bar or something lol.

This is why I'm so BIG on traveling because whenever you travel it's like automatic you are going to meet people and everyone's usually really friendly and outgoing when they are on vacation. You always got the same old friends who never leave town always complaining that they never can meet anyone new and it's because they never travel, they never leave their town.

But yeah going back to trying to help my friends I think all 3 of us we'll have to have a real serious conversation maybe not all 3 but me and them one on one separately. Many of my other friends all say hey its so great that you have not given up on them and most of them say yes keep being their friends and keep encouraging them, but again the problem is no one really has a good solid plan or answer as to actually execute this? The good thing as we mentioned is they aren't the violent women hating minsogynst type of Incels at least. Its funny because one of them used to have a huge crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt (as we all probably did) and so he made her some sort of elaborate art project of her face and he sent it to her assistant but she never responded. But why not just try to find a cute girl locally in his area who kinda resembles JLH and then go for that girl. Like you know an actual more realistic option then wasting his time on the real JLF???

I think as we mentioned the common interest of things they love such as ComiCon, Anime Cons, Video Gamer cons etc is definitely the route they should go. But whenever I say hey how was the chicks there they pretty much make up some BS excuse as to why the chicks there weren't a good option to meet/mingle. Or they lie that theres no chicks there when we all know theres some smoking hot chicks now at these conventions, even cosplaying in some super sexy cosplay there as well. I was thinking maybe a good plan would be for them to mingle with the cute girls in cosplay and offer to do their websites for them. I don't know if it should be free or for a super cheap discount and then by doing that they have a constant communication where it could potentially spawn and develop into something? Maybe like if they are nice they can keep maintaining the site for them and then try to get them to go out on dates but then if they are rude or shoot them down then just stop maintaining their sites? I don't know????

I honestly believe you have a golden screenplay right there. Seriously, wouldn't it be interesting to have a film about older Vs that's not a raucous comedy with a claptrap message like "just be yourself", but a more complex treatment? It isn't just about lacking the confidence to talk to chicks, but in your friends' case it's almost like they purposely chase something that's impossible (Jennifer Love Hewett lmao). Better to fail big than succeed small?

A story like that would show that the incel epidemic isn't just limited to angsty adolescent misogynists, but it's a wider social problem that might be taking root. There are nice guys (and some gals I'm sure) whose expectations are so inflated that they fail before getting out of the gate. And who knows, with the way human courtship is evolving (the online meat market, filters & photoshop), this could prove to be the unraveling of society. Cannes Film material bud, get to writing!

I can't believe the flower incident! Perfect scene for a bad romcom if it weren't actually true. The guy goes to all the trouble to be Prince Charming but is too much of a Melvin to sign the card (or again, self-sabotage?). And the opportunistic a-hole swoops in and scoops up the prize. Insert STD for the Apatow version haha. I dunno man, it really is admirable that you're still trying to help these guys but they sure know how to demolish a good plan regardless.

Man I totally agree with travel being the best way to meet new people and find spicy romance. There's something about being in an unfamiliar place that makes people uninhibited & open to socializing like you said. And it even adds a fun air of mystery that sweeps us up in the moment. Hardly the same if you meet the same person at the water cooler at work, but on a sunny beach in the middle of the Pacific? Fireworks. It's a bummer that your pals can't afford travel--or if they could they'd blow it on sending anonymous expensive gifts that will be claimed by others 🤦 I think the bottom line is what you said earlier, that these guys have a very childish concept of how things work. It's like passing an anonymous note to the cute girl in 4th grade saying Meet me under the bleachers, but being too shy to show up. It's a cliché, but really, they need to get out more!

As for me and my dreamboat sailing, well it gets complicated but nah I'm never revisiting that chapter. As good as it was, it had to end to be perfect. Yes I'm channeling my inner Casablanca haha.

Anyway dude you're totally right, the only way to get to the root of the problem is with a serious bro chat. These guys are lifelong friends so they owe it to you, if not themselves, to talk it out. Probably won't reach any life-changing decisions overnight, but maybe what they need is to be carefully nudged so at least they can figure out what they want. If nothing else, tell them to stop blowing their life savings on gifts unless they sign the damn card!

@rooprect said:

I honestly believe you have a golden screenplay right there. Seriously, wouldn't it be interesting to have a film about older Vs that's not a raucous comedy with a claptrap message like "just be yourself", but a more complex treatment? It isn't just about lacking the confidence to talk to chicks, but in your friends' case it's almost like they purposely chase something that's impossible (Jennifer Love Hewett lmao). Better to fail big than succeed small?

A story like that would show that the incel epidemic isn't just limited to angsty adolescent misogynists, but it's a wider social problem that might be taking root. There are nice guys (and some gals I'm sure) whose expectations are so inflated that they fail before getting out of the gate. And who knows, with the way human courtship is evolving (the online meat market, filters & photoshop), this could prove to be the unraveling of society. Cannes Film material bud, get to writing!

I can't believe the flower incident! Perfect scene for a bad romcom if it weren't actually true. The guy goes to all the trouble to be Prince Charming but is too much of a Melvin to sign the card (or again, self-sabotage?). And the opportunistic a-hole swoops in and scoops up the prize. Insert STD for the Apatow version haha. I dunno man, it really is admirable that you're still trying to help these guys but they sure know how to demolish a good plan regardless.

Man I totally agree with travel being the best way to meet new people and find spicy romance. There's something about being in an unfamiliar place that makes people uninhibited & open to socializing like you said. And it even adds a fun air of mystery that sweeps us up in the moment. Hardly the same if you meet the same person at the water cooler at work, but on a sunny beach in the middle of the Pacific? Fireworks. It's a bummer that your pals can't afford travel--or if they could they'd blow it on sending anonymous expensive gifts that will be claimed by others 🤦 I think the bottom line is what you said earlier, that these guys have a very childish concept of how things work. It's like passing an anonymous note to the cute girl in 4th grade saying Meet me under the bleachers, but being too shy to show up. It's a cliché, but really, they need to get out more!

As for me and my dreamboat sailing, well it gets complicated but nah I'm never revisiting that chapter. As good as it was, it had to end to be perfect. Yes I'm channeling my inner Casablanca haha.

Anyway dude you're totally right, the only way to get to the root of the problem is with a serious bro chat. These guys are lifelong friends so they owe it to you, if not themselves, to talk it out. Probably won't reach any life-changing decisions overnight, but maybe what they need is to be carefully nudged so at least they can figure out what they want. If nothing else, tell them to stop blowing their life savings on gifts unless they sign the damn card!

Hey bro many sincere thanks for your great feedback and responses. I've since updated the original post to include brief descriptions of the V friends and so I'll paste it here for you as well. Please read them below:

*Friend 1: *Looks like Leonard from BigBangTheory, but with long 1980's rockstar hair. (don't know why he feels this 1980's rock star hair is cool??) What's funny is his name is actually Leonard as well but goes by Leo sometimes. LOL His parents are both Lawyers so he comes from a pretty well off family. He's a really good friend and helped me out in a bunch of jams, but he does have a temper, is really stubborn, really emotional and probably like bi-polar or something like that going on. He's a part time music teacher to little kids, I think they are like 1st graders? Does graphic design as a side hustle too, but seemed to do it not to make money but to try to meet chicks(wannabe models, wannabe actresses etc. ) Drives an older BMW hand me down from his parents, and still lives with his parents. They are divorced so he goes and stays with the dad mostly then the mom every so often. Tried to go off to college and lived on his own for only like 2 months and had a nervous breakdown and moved back home and lives with his parents ever since. He's always been quite insecure about his height sometimes blames that as to why he has no success with the ladies. But we all know Johny Galecki got mad hot chicks in real life he even landed Penny aka Kaley Cuocuo in real life too!

Friend 2: Looks like Kevin James at his biggest weight, kinda like in the movie Hitch with Will Smith. Ironically his name is Kevin as well but goes by Kev. Both of his parents are corporate executives for a huge conglomerate and medical company so he comes from a pretty wealthy family. He's a really good friend, really nice and this might be why he can't get girls because he's too nice and not assertive enough in going for the gold and closing the deal. He's a computer programmer for one of Microsofts companies so he makes really good money and is pretty smart because I'm sure most of us could not do computer programming for Microsoft if our lives depended on it right? Drives a pretty new Range Rover(his family all drive Range Rovers for a long time so its more so his parents buying him this car verses his own style) Has always lived at home, never left, not even for college or summer camp. So his whole thing might be how sheltered he is since he's never moved out of his childhood home. He tends to blame his weight on why he's not confident to approach women or ask them out but the weight seems like BS excuse as he won't really try to lose weight and if he does he gets control of his weight and then just stops trying and balloons up all over again. He seems to really care too much what random strangers think of him or in public. Which is ironic because if he cared that much why not just permanently lose the weight and keep it off then? I think because of the way he looks, most assume he's like a 50 year old dad with 12 year old twins or something already. He dresses like Jared from Subway.

I'll be totally honest with you I've been more and more losing hope for Friend 1: Leo as I do think he has some bi-polar issues going on that need to be treated or he does need to seek professional help, shoot they both do, shoot we all would benefit from therapy for our mental health, but of course it just sucks it cost so much huh? Leo was the one who spent his life savings doing the 1,000 roses and gifts for everyone Prince Charming Hail Mary pass. I think this is a common thing though as another creepy V friend I knew in college would do this as well, send expensive gifts anonymously to his crush and never actually come clean to her that he sent it. That creepy guy from college is still all alone now and attends MAGA rallies all the time now in case you were wondering how he turned out? LMAO!

Leo also would go with these girls way out of his league to Adult Toy shops to buy adult toys for them. I don't know that seems really odd too because why does he have to go with them there and pay for it? When he himself is not even getting any from the girl. Its like he didn't see they were using him to buy things with his own money and in his mind he felt it was cool like he was being edgy but other friends thought he was basically filling in as the girl's "gay friend" doing things like that? Leo also does go months and sometimes years of shutting everyone out and going MIA. I think the longest I went from not hearing back from him was like 3 or 4 years. So yeah he clearly has some issues mentally and with his personality. Leo is the broker one of the two as his job is like some part time music teacher to little kids. I think because of his personality issues he can't land a full time job because he has in the past yelled at the principal and his former bosses after getting too emotional. Leo and Kev both were a bit better off when in college because thats when of course they actually had way more interaction and opportunities to come across chicks. Most of these girls are from Leo's college days when the professor made you break off into random work study groups and he had to exchange email/phone numbers with the other students in his classes. So yeah I might be almost pretty much done with Leo as he is the far more stubborn one with the possible personality/mental issues. Sadly yeah I think he's pretty much almost certain to be a lost cause.

Kev, (Friend2) seems to be having his moments. For instance during the pandemic when we were all locked down Kev reached out to me and pretty much thanked me for being such a great friend to him all this time and basically indirectly expressed in his own words that he's going to try again and get out there. He left it very vague and unclear what he actually meant but he has hinted at really maybe possibly trying to TRY at least or plans to. Kev does reach out to me time to time to want to talk, but it seems like overall again he goes through phases of when it seems like theres hope or motivation to just going back down into his sheltered fortress of solitude aka his parents house. I personally don't see the issue with his weight, I mean yes he should get his weight under control just for his overall health and well being but to blame his weight as to why he never had a girlfriend yet by his mid 40's just is total BS. I mean if he truly feels thats the real reason then why not focus on his weight and completely change his life to permanently dropped the weight for good. Like what's he waiting for he'll be 50 in a few years for gods sake! He pretty much pissed away his teen years, 20's 30's and now his 40's. Kev is the more successful/wealthier of the two as he does have the good high paying career. So he is not broke, quite the opposite, in fact you can argue that Kev pretty much has much more going his way than Leo. I mean if you do the math he's been with the same company for like almost 20 years and he's been making six figures for like 15 of those 20 years so 15 years of making six figures and he still lives with his parents so no rent, no mortgage, no bills, this guy probably has easily a million dollars saved up by now.

Kev also told me he was pretty much working on this one chick recently and being her free IT tech support helping her with her WIFI and computer issues but as soon as she got him to fix all of her IT issues she friend zoned him hard to that point where he ended up blocking her. So I don't know what we should be viewing that as? I mean he apparently tried at least with this chick right? But as soon he fixed all her IT issues she friend zoned him so hard he ended up blocking her? But yeah ever since that he's not been saying anything about girls at all and whenever I bring up the subject he tries to get off the phone with me??

But yeah Kev does have that money to blow on chicks whether it's good or bad or successful or BIG FAILS he has the money to at least go for it where Leo does not. Leo is broke as hell with way less options and resources.

Oh man Id love to hear about the one who got away but it seems like you do not wish to elaborate so I will not keep asking you about it. I feel she must have been incredible for you not even want to disrupt the perfect ending you guys had. I just wish you guys ended up together or you could possibly still end up together or you could of course meet some new who is just as amazing!

Hey man thanks for the kind words! Right back atcha, this is a fun conversation and you have some great insights that got me thinking. Sorry I'm a bit evasive on the wonder chick story... lol it's not deliberate but the words just aren't coming out.

If I had to summarize it, I'd say the relationship was like a winning streak at $100,000 Pyramid, betting bigger every day. It felt so sweet in the moment but not sustainable. Who knows, maybe that's a copout. But I will say, as good as it was, it's the only relationship that actually frightened me, like "dude this is going to blow up like a NUKE." Ever been there? Sounds like your Kat Dennings chick might've been similar. I guess what I'm talking about is the wild life, not necessarily drugs but the whole package.

So maybe we're coming full circle to what you said a while back, that it's bad news to date within the entertainment industry. Hard to resist though!

Thanks for clarifying on our 2 specimens. Haha now that I have a mental image of them, things seem more realistic and... kinda hopeless? I hate to say that about anyone, but especially in Leonard's case it sounds like he needs to do some work on himself before he can handle a relationship. Temperamental, stubborn, emotional... Those are dealbreakers unless there's something else that outweighs the bad (usually $$$).

And Kev, well there's hope for him because he sounds like a nice guy. Although nice guys finish last, they eventually finish! So I wouldn't give up on him yet, especially if he shows appreciation for your efforts and a willingness to change. In a bad romcom we'd just cut to a music montage, clips of him working out, buying stylish clothes, getting a shave & haircut, and then he's all set to show up at the high school reunion and win the hot chick. But definitely it would take a big leap forward like that. I don't think either of them is going to accomplish anything by giving gifts & free labor only to get friendzoned for the millionth time 🤦

And for the bonus round, friend #3 who spiraled into creepiness and spends his time at MAGA rallies.... oh man! I highly doubt that's a good place to meet chicks. But it kinda shows where things can lead when a guy can't get his social skills in order. Maybe you can use him as an example to show the other 2 guys that things have gotta change!

@rooprect said:

Hey man thanks for the kind words! Right back atcha, this is a fun conversation and you have some great insights that got me thinking. Sorry I'm a bit evasive on the wonder chick story... lol it's not deliberate but the words just aren't coming out.

If I had to summarize it, I'd say the relationship was like a winning streak at $100,000 Pyramid, betting bigger every day. It felt so sweet in the moment but not sustainable. Who knows, maybe that's a copout. But I will say, as good as it was, it's the only relationship that actually frightened me, like "dude this is going to blow up like a NUKE." Ever been there? Sounds like your Kat Dennings chick might've been similar. I guess what I'm talking about is the wild life, not necessarily drugs but the whole package.

So maybe we're coming full circle to what you said a while back, that it's bad news to date within the entertainment industry. Hard to resist though!

Thanks for clarifying on our 2 specimens. Haha now that I have a mental image of them, things seem more realistic and... kinda hopeless? I hate to say that about anyone, but especially in Leonard's case it sounds like he needs to do some work on himself before he can handle a relationship. Temperamental, stubborn, emotional... Those are dealbreakers unless there's something else that outweighs the bad (usually $$$).

And Kev, well there's hope for him because he sounds like a nice guy. Although nice guys finish last, they eventually finish! So I wouldn't give up on him yet, especially if he shows appreciation for your efforts and a willingness to change. In a bad romcom we'd just cut to a music montage, clips of him working out, buying stylish clothes, getting a shave & haircut, and then he's all set to show up at the high school reunion and win the hot chick. But definitely it would take a big leap forward like that. I don't think either of them is going to accomplish anything by giving gifts & free labor only to get friendzoned for the millionth time 🤦

And for the bonus round, friend #3 who spiraled into creepiness and spends his time at MAGA rallies.... oh man! I highly doubt that's a good place to meet chicks. But it kinda shows where things can lead when a guy can't get his social skills in order. Maybe you can use him as an example to show the other 2 guys that things have gotta change!

Wow I totally felt that. Although you still kept things very vague and open for interpretation lol but thats ok I'm sure its still very sensitive to talk about so I won't ask you anymore unless you'd like to share more about her and the situation? As for asking if it was how me and the Kat Dennings chick were no she was definitely super toxic and there was a ton of red flags galore that I ignored since she was so fine with the KatDD's lol. She began being super nice, too nice, she even would get up from dinner and come back and be like don't worry about dinner tonight it's already paid for. I was like WHAAAT?? A girl this hot who pays for dinner and even gets up to secretly pay before you can even realize what's going on. She went from this total sweetheart to a total drugged out unstable toxic hell storm in a matter of like a year. She started going to bunch of raves, raving all night doing all kinds of drugs and doing god knows what at the raves since everyones on E and making out with each other and even getting it on as well. The rave drugs really completely changed her into a totally different person she was pretty much a cracked out schizophrenic which is even more sad since she came from a privileged white wholesome family in the whitest part of the valley with all the advantages and resources in the world to basically end up a homeless schizo. So thank god I had the courage and wisdom to jump ship before things really got bad. Although she did try to find me on Myspace years after trying to date me again, yeah right.

The girl who probably comes closer to your wonder girl story is the Hawaii girl, well the girl who I was dating who went to Hawaii without me, that one. She looked like Summer Glau but with huge DD"S LOL. I know all these stories have a common characteristic about the girls right? Guilty as charged! So this Summer chick was super smart and could even code back in the 90's when the only types of people who could code back then was a total nerd with glasses and pocket protector and would look like the cast of Revenge of The Nerds. Every where we went like Blockbuster to get videos(yeah thats how old this story is) all the heads would turn to look at her. I didn't realize it until I had to stop and be like why are all the heads keep turning then I realized it because of her. She was really quiet, shy, but fine as hell, and what really shocked me was she was a big fan of Star Wars as this was when the new stars films were first coming out the Phantom Menace and she was telling me how she was such a huge fan and so excited. I was like WTF?? This girl is truly one of a kind. I knew this one wouldn't last because she was way too hot and too smart for me. She'd be getting offers from Google, Apple etc her sophomore year of college and I was a broke bum college student doing sketchy stunt work gigs and commercial gigs here and there. One of the biggest commercials called me to do their project and I had to miss her bday party and promise to take her to Vegas the following weekend to celebrate it with her but that was the final straw, she started to ghost me after that. Even though I sent her a dozen roses and chocolates, the missing the bday party was the final nail in the coffin. I would have gone but I really needed the commercial just to be able to pay rent so I couldn't back out of the commercial. This was not the only time I had to take a commercial gig or stunt gig last minute just to be able to pay rent or eat and had to cancel on a date last minute and the girl never talked to me ever again. Which is another reason why this industry is so spontaneous and random and unstable to the max. She was probably the one that got away and I knew the time was ticking since she was way too good to be true. But with all that being said, WE BOUNCE THE F BACK BRO! We overcome all this and turn the negatives into positives!

So I know you are trying to remain positive and kind but it seems like you too are kinda leaning towards spending less effort and energy on Leonard since he seems like he has way more going against him and firstly needs to work on himself and his mental health first right? I think if Leonard really took his mental health better went into therapy and maybe even meds for his weird mood swings and emotional outbursts he might then have a better chance with the women? Again Leonard is the broke one who has a part time music school teachers salary which we can imagine is not a lot and maybe not even enough to date or take any girl out at all right?

As for Kev, yeah I've been honestly more so focused on him. He did finally begin to take his health seriously during the pandemic lockdowns. He bought a treadmill and started walking while binging his shows, Thank god he started doing that because rumors were he had a heart attack or something similar to that right before the pandemic lockdowns so I think the whole covid thing really scared the bejeesuz out of him. Kevs also the one of the two who actually reaches out to me time to time to talk like a normal friends should do. Like you pointed out Kev has money on his side. His family has money and he himself makes good money but he has no clue what to do with his money or himself as you can imagine. Your joke about the fast forward montage is exactly what I need out of him but he moves at snails pace if that at all. Also one can lose weight like in Kev's situation but one can't do anything about their height unfortunately like Leonard(even though I don't think his height is that big of an issue he's still at least 5'5" at least he's not like 4'11" or something.

But you really got me BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD since you pointed that my latest plans are good about them offering a free or discounted service such as doing the cosplay models sites only to get friend zoned for the millionth time lol. So what should we do instead for them???? PLEASE HELP!

Also as for the 3rd V friend I'm no longer friends with him as he was really a bad person. Super toxic and sketchy. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up in the 6clock news, I just think its funny he ended up full blown MAGA and devotes his life to the MAGA cult and rallies now, really shows you the type of people who go there and how bad of a person he was/is.

Hey bro do you mind if we exchange emails and maybe continue this via email? Perhaps you'd be more comfortable elaborating on the Wonder Girl more if we took it offline and off the forums lol and maybe you can please help me brainstorm more on helping Leonard and Kev???? My names Mark C. what's yours?

Thanks again for everything really appreciate it, I'm sure we'll become really great buds through all of this!

Hey MCM I sent you a message a couple days ago, check your spam if you didn't get it!

@rooprect said:

Hey MCM I sent you a message a couple days ago, check your spam if you didn't get it!

Hey bro OMG I was like what ever happened to this guy? He seems cool as hell like my new best friend and we'll save each other thousands in free therapy with our emails lol, but you are 100% correct it went straight into my spam folder and I just got it. I will read it over later today and respond in full to it ASAP! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your honest feedback/help. Please look out for the email response soon. Have a great week! Cheers brother!

@MrCharmingMan said:

@rooprect said:

Hey MCM I sent you a message a couple days ago, check your spam if you didn't get it!

Hey bro OMG I was like what ever happened to this guy? He seems cool as hell like my new best friend and we'll save each other thousands in free therapy with our emails lol, but you are 100% correct it went straight into my spam folder and I just got it. I will read it over later today and respond in full to it ASAP! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your honest feedback/help. Please look out for the email response soon. Have a great week! Cheers brother!

Awesome, I'm just glad it didn't get eaten by cyberspace! or worse, accidentally sent to an ex 😰

@rooprect said:

@MrCharmingMan said:

@rooprect said:

Hey MCM I sent you a message a couple days ago, check your spam if you didn't get it!

Hey bro OMG I was like what ever happened to this guy? He seems cool as hell like my new best friend and we'll save each other thousands in free therapy with our emails lol, but you are 100% correct it went straight into my spam folder and I just got it. I will read it over later today and respond in full to it ASAP! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all your honest feedback/help. Please look out for the email response soon. Have a great week! Cheers brother!

Awesome, I'm just glad it didn't get eaten by cyberspace! or worse, accidentally sent to an ex 😰

LOL I've had my share of losing things in cyberspace but thankfully never sent an ex anything accidentally. But I did reply to your email. It's a bit long but we do have a lot to talk about and cover so hopefully the genius minds of Steve Martin and the Fonz can figure this one out and save the day!