Oh bother, I’ve run out of human meat.

This next one’s definitely going to ruin his career.

They’re here to punch up your jokes.

He’s never thrown a Hail Mary.

Leave no package behind.

Would you rather be trapped in a castle or a relationship?

Parenting isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Or not.

Some cliques are harder to get into than Gryffindor.

A son fights for his right to deafen.

Leighton Meester has an important message for you.

Nudity is not a style.

He’s never done this before.

Stay spacey, my friends.

Why GTL when you can just go Super Saiyan?

Party like it’s 1399.

Underwear would be an improvement.

Girls on girls watching porn.

Think before you snap.

If you want to be her lover, you gotta LARP with her friends.

Planking is not a crime.

It’s the naked truth.

He’s got a lot on his plate.

Nudity is not a crime. These clothes are.

Diners, Drive-ins and Dementors.

Honor. Adventure. Pizza.

John reunites with Bob Saget for a manly look at tenderness.

An age-old rivalry finally gets settled.

Just as well-written as your 8th grade history notes.