Kiry Shabazz doesn't understand why people laugh at "Home Alone," defends de facto lunch table segregation and recalls accidentally getting into a debate about Donald Trump.

Caleb Synan shares a suggestive text he got from his father, doubts his parents' ability to trick God and argues that "shaking off" after peeing does nothing.

Ron Taylor rails against racist dress codes, questions women who use Tinder to make friends and wonders what good his public school education did for him.

Brendan Scannell brags that he knew about Mike Pence before everyone else and wonders why all the fourth graders who follow him on Instagram keep saying, "Slay, kween."

Gavin Matts thinks that people shouldn't live past the age of 40 and recalls how uncomfortable he felt making out with his girlfriend while she used a sex toy.

Paige Weldon explains her trouble distinguishing flirting from good customer service and wonders why men don't have hand towels.

Patti Harrison performs a controversial song she wrote that was rejected by Dua Lipa's team.

Dave Ross recalls buying a bucket of fried chicken from a Florida gas station and then fending off someone who tried to steal it.

Chase Bernstein confesses she has trouble using analog clocks to tell time and vents her frustration about people who freeze bread.

Jordan Temple dismisses people who get into fights on Facebook and recalls how Oprah turned him on to Frank Sinatra.

Danny Jolles defends his love of pro wrestling, insists The Rock is a great actor and talks about the first time he got roasted.

Biniam Bizuneh recalls his family's unique takes on American traditions and shares his idea for an antidepressant ad geared toward a Black audience.

Babs Gray suggests lying to baristas about your profession to boost your self-esteem and explains what it would take for her to start contouring.