Topics satirized include: FOX's television show American Idol premieres the USA State of the Union speech by Dubya Bush the Iowa Democratic Caucuses Gen. Wes Clark's presidential campaign the film Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Britney Spears' Toxic video premieres and more.

Topics scoffed include: Courtney Love acting like an idiot, once again, natch Paris Hilton on FOX's The Simple Life 2 the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Lisa Marie Presley talks about former husband Michael Jackson Fox News producers: what idiots college basketball's March Madness celebrities as United Nation ""hiplomats"" saving the world who's Farnsworth Bentley? why is he in hip-hop videos? what's he selling? and why we care? Jessica Simpson is still dumb when she visited the White House St. Patrick's Day and lots and lots of drinking and more.

Upgrade and downgrade: Celebrity couples.

Who had the best week ever: Robots.

Closing video: ""Tipsy,"" by J-Kwon.