Hancock decides that he will emigrate, but no-one will take him. Knowing Sid's past he asks for his assistance, but the 'luxury cruise liner' Sid arranges has a very short gang plank and a very unusual crew.

Sid has fallen in love with the conductress of a 93 bus but he doesn't know how to approach her. Seeking Hancock's advice, Sid travels on the bus but his attempts cause chaos both with the conductress and the driver... who is her husband.

It's the centenary of the Borough of East Cheam and Hancock has arranged for the BBC to have exclusive TV rights to the celebratory procession. Unfortunately, the Mayor has sold exclusive rights to ITV and the route of the procession doesn't go past Hancock's house where the BBC have set up. Hancock is forced to take drastic steps and provide his own procession at short notice.