Jack is incensed when his dead mom's former lover shows up and suggests they commemorate her birthday. Jack taps his students to help him retaliate, but the students' hands are already full - of crying robot babies. Stef's kindness toward Dale the janitor sends the wrong signals.

Jack uses Michelle's annual murder mystery party to impress Lynette. Meanwhile, in a moment of desperation, the students break into Whitlock High to steal the A.P. Bio practice exams.

As the school prepares for winter break, Jack tries to record a lecture on Thoreau's transcendentalism as a way into the University of Wisconsin's philosophy department. Frustrated and unable to finish the video, he falls asleep and has nightmares.