
HarmonQuest (2016)
← Back to main
Jeff Bryan Davis as Boneweevil
Episodes 30
The Quest Begins
Fondue and friends partake in the Festival of Restoration, but are interrupted by a barbarian chased by an evil cult. After unleashing evil upon the world, Fondue takes up a quest to save the world from the Heralds of the Manticore.
Read MoreThe Stone Saw Mines
On a journey to warn the nearby town of the evil that threatens the world, our heroes take a shortcut through the Stone Saw Mines, where they encounter the damage and devastation wrought by the evils of the cult.
Read MoreWelcome to Freshport
Leaving the Stone Saw Mines, the gang enters Freshport, where they enlist the help of a dock-working bard to warn the city of the evils unleashed by the Heralds of the Manticore. They infiltrate a party to chat up a union boss.
Read MoreAcross the Dernum Sea
After escaping Freshport, our heroes find them selves on a merchant ship. After chatting up the captain, they hitch a ride together, but are attacked by shark people, before being boarded by the vessel of a familiar foe.
Read MoreManoa Prison Hole
After being captures by Vortheon on the high seaws, our heroes are thrown into prison, where they meet an odd who hatches a plan to slip their bonds and escape from prison, to resume their quest.
Read MoreEntering the Sandman Desert
After escaping form prison, our heroes fled to the desert. They meet with a strange and magical sandwich merchant harried by ghostly assailants, but all is not as it seems, and that many sandwiches turns out to be too good to be true.
Read MoreThe Doorest of Fores
Entering the mystical magical Doorest of Fores, our heroes encounter a strange forest dwelling Halfling. Together they face the strange and hacky humor of the Forest Guardian, as well as his strange and hacky trials to earn a blessing.
Read MoreThe Dragon's Temple
Entering the Final Dungeon, our heroes meet the Janitor of the crumbling temple, who snarkily guides them through, charging high prices for his dubious assistance. They face a powerful foe and prepare to stop the Heralds of the Manticore.
Read MoreThe Secret Hideout
After coming this whole way, the gang discovers the Heralds of the Manticore preparing a ritual to unleash the Great Manticore. Our heroes face off with the cult in a final assault in the hopes of preventing the summoning ritual.
Read MoreEarthscar Village
After failing to foil the Heralds' evil plot, our heroes must fina a way to stop the Great Manticore. Returning to the damaged and changed Earthscar, they seek to prevent the creature from opening a gateway into the...
Read MoreThe Wrestling Match
The Village Chief challenges the group to a celebratory wrestling match. Boneweevil and Teflonto tag team against the Chief. Fondue wrestles his inner demons in the main event. Jeff takes a walk in the void.
Read MoreThe Test Game
Paul explains his experience with fantasy role playing. Spencer gives him a test game, where Paul finds himself in a small room, and has to find his way out.
Read MoreThe Backstories
Dan is amused by Spencer's method by which he told Dan of his character's backstory. He says he'd like Spencer to deliver all his bad news. The group jokes about what examples of bad news Spencer would give.
Read MoreLooking for Tunnels
The group searches for a way to get through the cave into the mine. Deepok Chopra's feud with the Dwarf ghosts comes into play. Fondue finds out that women have the best perception, Beur and Deepok explain how they scan, Fondue gets impatient.
Read MoreBoneweevil Has Evasion
Boneweevil taunts at the Dwarf Ghosts, who in turn try to attack him with pick axes. Boneweevil has evasion, and is one-step ahead of their attack.
Read MoreKevin McCallister
Entering the cave, Deepk Chopra explains her backstory and how she became a monk. She reveals that she was not talking to anyone else in time at the time of the attack; the "Kevin McCallister" of Dwarven Monks.
Read MoreBoneweevil Farts on Beur
Beur crawls through the tunnel, warning Boneweevil not to fart on her. Boneweevil farts into the tunnel, thinking that it's Fondue. Beur is reminded of her father. Jeff gets his Harmon universes mixed up.
Read MoreSteve's Cardboard Box Test Game
Spencer gives Steve Agee a tutorial in which he finds himself in a large cardboard box, filled with a mysteriously salty fluid. Steve finds a way to exit the box, and reveals he killed JFK.
Read MoreGetting into The Union House
Fondue distracts the guard, Knave, creating a diversion for Boneweevil to enter the Union House. Boneweevil tries to get information out of the bartender, who gives Boneweevil a hard time.
Read MorePoop and Pee Smugglers
As they group asks Rib Sanchez about his backstory, Boneweevil gets a little too close. Fondue tries to figure out whether the sailors are for the crown or against the crown. Beur wonders whether they are poop and pee smugglers. Rib Sanchez is pro-environment, but also makes drugs out of the excrement.
Read MoreRib's Backstory and Racism
Rib reveals that he grew up in a place where everything was hard, so he smuggles soft things back to his land and get rich. Fondue tries to relate, but Rib reveals he is slightly racist against Orcs. Beur is amused by Rib's racist jokes against Orcs. Fondue tries to keep calm.
Read MoreMore Orc Racism
In attempting to fish, Fondue stumbles his words, causing Beur to go off on another racist joke against Orcs. Rib joins in on the fun. Fondue fails to keep his cool.
Read MoreToilet Talk
The group finds themselves in a prison cell, where a voice reveals another prisoner; a gnome named Hawaiian Coffee. Fondue finds a toilet, but Hawaiian Coffee warns him to stay away. She explains how she got arrested and her clothing, before revealing she is magic and can transfigure anything.
Read MoreFondue Gets Upset
The group argue over their next move. Fondue wants to hide the guards' bodies to hide the evidence, but Beur, Boneweevil and Hawaiian Coffee question his judgement. Beur punches Fondue in the face to calm him down, which does not work. Hawaiian Coffee ignores Fondue's rant. Boneweevil tries to keep the peace. Fondue moves the guards' bodies out of stubbornness.
Read MoreGuard's Mother
In attempt to cause a distraction for an escape, Hawaiian Coffee assumes the shape of one of the Guard's mother. She insists the guard needs to leave and help his brother.
Read MoreRenaming the Desert
Fondue wants to rename the "Sandman Desert." He has a brief conversation with the Sun.
Read MoreJohn's Backstory
John Hodgman gives his backstory with role-playing games. Dan relates and jokes about his career being based on bullying his nerdier, younger self.
Read MoreJohn's Test Game
In a test game, John finds himself in a public restroom with an overflowing toilet. John goes through a "large man sized door," which is the size of a large man, in order to escape.
Read MoreDo You Own the Trees?
Fondue tries to swing through the trees. Beur chides him as a copycat, Dan wonders whether she thinks she owns the trees, singing a song as an copyright-free parody of the Pocahontas song.
Read MoreThomas' Test Game
Spencer walks Thomas through a test scenario, where he finds himself in a hallway filled with statues. Thomas uses his tote bag to swap the weight of the golden statue, gaining access to the exit. Thomas, being an avid role-player, rolls dice to simulate whether he would have passed the test; he does not.
Read MoreHeroes
Boneweevil deduces from their tests that they are all heroes in their own way. As Dildo is about to corroborate Boneweevil's revelation, he has a brief stroke. Coming to, and brushing it off as something that happens all the time, Beur comforts him like a small baby.
Read MoreLabyrinth
Dan establishes how much Erin loves the movie Labyrinth, and can easily answer the riddle in which they are asked. Jeff and Spencer both heard the riddle from other sources. Boneweevil successfully explains how to solve the riddle. Fondue and Beur warn Boneweevil of the perils of choosing "down," as it happened in Labyrinth. Thomas and Jeff mimick the talking hands from the movie.
Read MoreDildo's Outfit
Dildo welcomes the group to his campfire, and explains his backstory. Boneweevil questions Dildo's intentions, Dildo tries to pull Boneweevil's leg. Dildo explains his outfit to the group.
Read MoreOnce You Go Goblin
Boneweevil gives Eddie a hand job, Eddie praises it as better than Fondue's. Boneweevil attempts to make a pun about Goblins, Beur masturbates and cries in the corner. Praising Bonweevil's hand job again, Eddie insults Fondue's ability and his absent father.
Read MoreBox of Socks
After finding Master Sage in a box, Boneweevil opens a series of boxes - one is full of rocks, one has another box, which is full of socks. Eddie warns Boneweevil not to touch the socks, as he's had a lot of alone time over the years.
Read MoreFondue's Song
Fondue sings a public-domain song about looking for a key.
Read MoreEddie's Life Story
Eddie is forced at knife-point to expand on his life story. He explains that his friends are all dead, because previous adventurers had killed them in attempt to gain entrance to the temple. Because of this, Eddie has a suicidal outlook on life, but is bound by his contract not to kill himself. Fondue explains the wonders of the outside world; parades, parties, juice, etc. Boneweevil asks Eddie if he's ever had sex before, Fondue gets the hint and asks the team to leave the room.
Read MoreSynax!
Fondue announces he wants to do something cool during his next turn. James Dean attacks one of the cultists - a thin, grey old man. The group feels bad about hurting the old man. When it's finally Fondue's turn, he proclaims: "SYNAX! NOW YOU DIE!" Erin is disappointed. Fondue tries some cool one-liners to yell at Synax before he attacks the cultist.
Read MoreHomophonic Joke
Beur says she doesn't need "your gaze," which sounded homophobic, Fondue apologizes to James Dean. Spencer explains it was a "homophonic" joke. Dan invites the audience to stay tuned for a spirited wordplay discussion.
Read MoreThe Orange Potion and The Holy Blast
Beur uses her orange potion, not knowing what it does. The potion makes Vortheon fly into the air. He counter attacks by magically ripping out Beur's blood into a large spike, which hits Boneweevil. James Dean saves the day by using her much-awaited Holy Blast, to the excitement of her compatriots.
Read MoreJeff Davis
After Beur takes some damage in a battle, Synax fires a bolt of energy at Jeff Davis, who is randomly in the room. Jeff makes some small talk with the heroes, then leaves. Fondue and Beur note the french novel Jeff was holding, and both agree he's not a poser.
Read MoreFondue's Parents
Chadge is eager to rebuild his relationship with Fondue. He asks about Fondue's mother, Fondue tells him the grim tale of her eventually slapping herself to death because she was alone.
Read MoreTedder's Speech
Boneweevil and Fondue inspire Tedder Spice to rally the people into defending the village. Various villagers speak up in support of the Chief and his hair. A little boy tells a sad story
Read MoreFondue's Flashback
While building the cage around the village, Fondue hangs from the monkey bars as Chadge works. Fondue recalls a similar childhood memory in which he was swinging from monkey bars, but his father was nowhere to be seen. Chadge disappears into the void. Back in the present, Chadge gives Fondue words of support, while Fondue hopes the Manticore can't get through twigs.
Read MoreInvoices
The group tries to barter with the old Chief to pay off Chadge's debt. Chadge insists he can't allow this to happen. Fondue tries to get their priorities straight before worrying about "invoices." Fondue gets emotional and insists his father owes him. Chadge tries to make it up to him by offering him a painting.
Read MoreThe Quest Continues
Fondue, Beur, and their new friend Chip meet with a powerful Sorcerer who brings them to the hellish Demon Realm on their quest to find Boneweevil, but our heroes are soon overwhelmed by the armies of Hell.
Read MoreDemon Realm Devilry
Trapped in the Demon Realm after the death of Celty, a lake of mystery juice transmutes Fondue and friends into various beasts. In order to reverse their curse, the gang seeks the help of a powerful and strange swamp witch.
Read MoreBonebreak Village
On Boneweevil’s suggestion the gang heads to Bonebreak Village, the last refuge of Hell’s survivors. There, they discover their way home might just be a mysterious spirit locked away in one of the Demon Realm’s many Nether-Jails.
Read MoreInto the Abyss
With nowhere to go, our heroes are saved by an old friend of Boneweevil. The bizarre and awkward tooth beast whisks the gang into the Abyss for some high stakes bar trivia with a grim reaper.
Read MoreBack to Sandman Desert
After defeating the caretaker of the abyss, our heroes return to Earth, where much has changed. Finding some sand nomads and saving them from marauding beasts, the gang is treated to tea, and discover an evil presence has followed them back from the Demon Realm.
Read MoreThe Barely Cursed Bazaar of Commerce
After learning of Celty’s re-appearance, our heroes follow the clues towards the city of Forlona, but a newly formed river of lava prevents their passage. Luckily, a mysterious merchant tent and its magical shopkeeper are here to help, but she seems to keep strange wares and stranger secrets.
Read MoreThe City of Forlona
In an effort to stop Celty’s evil ritual, our heroes travel to the center of it all, the Capital City of Forlona! A lost little boy informs the gang of recent catastrophe in the city, and a quest for his parents leads them into the royal Castle to beg for the King’s aid.
Read MoreThe Keystone Obelisk
Feldspa the Royal Vizier beseeches Fondue and friends for their help in destroying the Keystone Obelisk, the lynchpin of Celty’s Obelisk Ritual. The gang joins forces with a deadly arsonist to assault the Obelisk as they attempt to enter the Obelisk to destroy its core.
Read MoreThe Castle of Etylai
Charles returns from the Demon Realm with an old flame of Beur’s. Our heroes assault Celty’s floating castle with the help of the dragon, but after getting split up, Boneweevil and Fondue are at each other’s throats, and their bickering threatens the future of their heroes’ journey.
Read MoreThe Sorcerer of the Storm
A lethal encounter sets our party back, but after being rejoined by a familiar face from their past, our heroes face Celty and take on the deadly enchantress in her flying fortress. Can the gang finally put a stop to Celty’s evil schemes, and what even were those evil schemes anyway?
Read MoreGoblopolis Lost
After a trying time in the material plane, after the demonic convergence, our heroes have been trying to find their way, saving who they can and smiting all the evil they encounter. With the help of Chadge Zoobag, they venture to defeat the Puppet King, a powerful fiend, and encounter a mysterious new ally along the way.
Read MoreThe Shattered Myriad
With Limerick in tow our heroes venture towards their Barbarian home, but pass through a magical catastrophe on pause, where they meet a strange Druid and discover the secrets of this land, as well as a possible solution to undoing the havoc they’ve inadvertently wrought, the demonic convergence.
Read MoreIvory Quay
Our heroes arrive at the Barbarian Village, but all is not right, as an old friend reveals. The gang finds the village under the thrall of demons, sorcery, and strange gemstones, and as they search for the Beast of Beginning, they are waylaid by an inscrutable, otherworldly specter of vengeance.
Read MoreGoblopolis Found
After using the Beast of Beginning, our heroes find themselves in the past, in a world untouched by the demonic convergence. But all is not right, as they learn they’ve arrived right at the point in time when the Puppet King is laying siege to Goblopolis, intending to enslave the city’s goblins on the road to world domination.
Read MoreTerra Scissus
Forced underground by the Puppet King’s assault, our heroes are trapped with an army of hungry goblins. With the help of a sassy new ally, the gang adventures through flooded subterranean caverns choked by fungus as they try to find a way out of their cavernous captivity.
Read MoreShatternine Village
On their journey back to Ivory to seek the beast of Beginning, our heroes rest in Shatternine Village, where another adventuring party has been set to work helping the town uncover the source of a mysterious rage virus infecting the town with violent madness.
Read MoreThe Bloody Teeth
Our heroes return to Ivory Quay, but the bone tree barbarian’s ancestral home has been warped, corrupted beyond recognition. The gang fights their way to the Beast of Beginning, disgusted and confused at the horrors their temporal tampering has unleashed.
Read MoreAd Quod Damnum
After being captured by the Gray Wraith, our heroes find themselves in an otherworldly plane of Imperium Judgments! There they face trial at the hands of a stern prosecutor, an impenetrable judge, and the help of a plucky and charming defense attorney.
Read MoreThe Starshade Expanse
After escaping Ad Quod Damnum, the plane of Imperium Judgements, our heroes are lost in the astral plane, unable to find the Beast of Beginning, but find a helping hand in the form of an Astral Privateer, who offers them a ride through dimensions, as well as a new type of pizza.
Read MoreThe Virtuous Harmony
Our heroes crash land in the virtuous harmony, where an angelic guardian helps them find the Beast of the beginning, and the gang fights an old foe over the fate of the multiverse.
Read More