After realizing that Sophia is growing up faster than he’d like, John buys himself a pet, but it doesn’t get along well with Joan. Also, Heather accidentally sends Tyler a sexy text message, Jen and Greg try to help Samantha win her boyfriend back and Heather and Jen console Colleen and Matt over their break-up.

Dinner gets awkward for Jen and Matt when they find themselves alone without Greg and Colleen. Also, Lark accidentally locks out Greg and Jen from the house, prompting Greg to install a complicated home automation system; Heather and Tim try to sneak wine into an ice skating show to get out of paying at the venue; and John and Joan agree to an impromptu wedding after Colleen mentions that she's an ordained minister.