Alf is well and truly missing Else's housework and cooking so he rings her to ask when she will be home but receives no definite answer. Else has asked Min from next door to cook meals for Alf.

Alf finds himself in the middle when neighbour Bert arrives, closely followed by his wife Min after they've had a row over her food. The two men repair to the pub to drown their sorrows and to hit upon the ideal solution as to how to keep a woman in her place. This is of course asking for trouble when they inevitably return home and face Min's wrath.

Alf, the Reeds, and the Rawlins get involved in the undeniable political discourse. Alf regards long term Labour minister Anthony Wedgewood Benn a fraud because he has a title – which he'll later renounce – and resides in a wealthy Conservative neighbourhood. Mike, however, turns the tables on his father-in-law by pointing out that Alf is a Conservative voter living in a far from wealthy Labour stronghold.

Min's mother has died and everybody has returned from the funeral though Min is adamant that her mother will be reincarnated as a blackbird. Having ensured that he has not already learnt of its outcome, Alf settles down to watch the Ali-Foreman fight but there are, of course, complications.

Alf has been asked to look after the Christmas club subscriptions at the local pub in Else's absence. However, maths isn't his strong point and he has trouble balancing the books. This in turn leads to the regulars suspecting that, instead of intending to pay them out, he is keeping the cash to join his wife in Oz.

Else has sent a letter to Min and not to Alf, suggesting that Rita and Mike bring Michael Junior to Australia, as she has no intention of returning to England. Alf doesn't believe Min when she tells him but, on finding the letter, must face up to the truth.

With no sign of Else ever returning, Alf decides to put his house on the market, though with Rita and Mike as sitting tenants, this creates a problem. As a trial run, he becomes the Reads' lodger but falls foul of Min who, after he's resisted her amorous advances, refuses to cook him a proper meal.

Returning home from work, Alf finds Min with her feet up watching his colour television with no attempt to make him dinner. This is the cue for Alf and Bert to repair to the pub and compare stories about Min. Mike challenges Alf to a race around the block.

Min has decided that Bert must lose weight and keep fit by going out jogging. Alf accompanies on a pushbike to make sure that Bert keeps pace. Before long, they're both heartily sick of the exercise and repair to the pub to drown their sorrows. But, on the way home, they are pulled over by the police who find Alf drunk in charge of a bicycle.

When Mike points out that the windows at the Garnett house have not been washed in years, Alf decides to save money and clean them himself rather than bring in a professional. Unfortunately, whilst he sits on the ledge, the window comes down, trapping his legs underneath and, although several passerby gawp, it's a while before he is freed. Fortunately, Bert has brought the television up to the bedroom to help pass the time for the prisoner.

Alf and Bert decide to increase their status by joining the local golf club though they're not very good and the regular club members notice. However, they learn that the seventeenth hole is famous in that everybody seems able to score a hole in one there and they set about faking their own version of obtaining the coveted score by cheating.

Alf is not a happy bigot; he's lost his job and returns to an empty and dark house. And all on his birthday too. He fears that he has been burgled but in fact the lights go on and friends and neighbors are ready to spring a happy birthday surprise on him.