Greg, Kim, Jimmy and Christine are horrified to see a mother nursing her walking, talking toddler at the park. Greg wonders what's the proper cutoff age for breast-feeding. Kim says about a year, and she couldn't wait to stop nursing after that. But that night, she screams at Greg to get out of the baby's room when he catches her off guard still nursing Sam. Greg thinks she hasn't stopped breast-feeding because she can't sever ties to her son, but Kim confesses she does it so she can have big, milk-filled boobs. Greg convinces her to start weaning Sam now before she's got a walking, talking toddler asking her to breast-feed him at the park, but no matter what he tries, Sam won't take to bottles. When Greg's just about ready to give up, Jimmy tells him how he got Dominic and Logan to wean; he'd dress up like Christine with a bottle shoved under her clothes and pretend to be Mommy. It works like a charm, after which Greg finds out that Jimmy made the whole story up. The next night, Kim c

Jimmy finds out that his mean Uncle Elton died and left him $5000. Jimmy takes half of it and tells Greg and Kim he'll be paying them back the money he owed them to get set up in L.A. Afterwards, Jimmy and Christine go Christmas shopping with the other half. Despite Christine's protests, Jimmy sees two expensive Lionel train sets and wants to spoil Dominic for Christmas, but can't decide which one to get. So he gets both. But when he visits with his uncle's lawyer to claim his inheritance, Jimmy learns the bad news -- he doesn't get $5000, he gets $5000 less taxes. And he's now overdrawn before he's even paid Greg back. With no other choice but to get a second job to cover his debt, Jimmy lands work at the toy shop where he bought the trains. And where he now has to answer to the smug manager he was rude to previously. If that's not embarrassing enough, Greg bumps into Jimmy while he's on the job in a silly reindeer costume. Jimmy comes clean, and Greg demands that he just take the mon

The Warners' ongoing feud with a crazy neighbor, Walt, escalates after Walt demands Greg cut down a supposedly unsafe tree on his property. Greg solves the problem by calling a town inspector, but it indirectly results in a bigger problem when Jimmy lets the inspector know that he and Christine are living permanently in the Warners' guest house -- which is against the town's zoning regulation. The inspector tells Greg about a waiver that would allow Jimmy and Christine to continue living there, but everyone on the block would have to sign it... including Walt. As he wants Jimmy and Christine to move out, Greg doesn't even bother to tell them or Kim about it until after he experiences a guilt trip over the possibility of the Hughes living miles away in poverty. Jimmy drags a reluctant Greg into his scheme to get Walt to sign the waiver by befriending him, which is no mean feat due to Walt's eccentricity. But Walt isn't the owner of his house, and has to answer to a higher power who does

Dominic's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Joseph, calls in Jimmy and Christine for a parent/teacher conference because he's been acting up in school. When they get there, they find out Dominic mooned the class. Recalling how her parents used to act when they were called in, Christine sticks up for Dominic by refusing to agree to the school's policy of making repeat offenders see a counselor. After Mrs. Joseph alerts her to the fact that Dominic may be expelled if they don't let him meet with the counselor, Christine yanks Dominic out herself and decides to home-school him instead -- a move everyone else thinks was hasty and foolish. Desperate to prove them wrong, Christine initially tries -- and fails -- to teach Dominic by way of a book, until Greg reminds her that Kim's the by-the-book parent. Christine's second plan, teaching by way of baking, is a success, leaving the others sorry they doubted her. But Christine has to put her pride aside when Dominic tells her that he misses his friend

Greg and Kim buy a new minivan, and plan to trade in their old car. Jimmy tells Greg trade-ins are a rip-off, and he could just as easily fix it up and sell it himself. Greg agrees to the proposal and lets him keep whatever extra money he makes on top of the trade-in price. So Jimmy fixes up the car, sells it himself, and keeps $3000. He then asks Greg what he should do with the cash since he's never had any before. Greg, stunned at Jimmy's newfound responsibility, suggests he invest it in the stock market and use the profits for his kids' education. Jimmy chooses not to follow that advice to a 'T', however, and instead plunks the money down on a used, dilapidated speedboat -- which doesn't even run. Greg throws a hissyfit over what he considers to be Jimmy's irresponsibility triumph, so much so that even Kim thinks he's being uptight. Jimmy ignores Greg, fixes up the boat and invites the adults out for its ""maiden"" voyage. At first, Greg refuses to have a good time, but when left alon

Greg and Kim are hardly enamored with Jimmy's and Christine's method of potty training Logan -- stripping him naked and letting him run around in the Warners' backyard until he figures it out himself. But since Sam is the same age as Logan, Greg thinks it's time to start potty training Sam as well. Just, uh, not by using the Hughes method. Greg and Kim take Sam out to buy big kid's underwear and a bunch of potty training aids the parenting books recommend. Jimmy and Christine think all the aids -- among them, a doll called Potty Scotty that poops ping pong balls and a child's first potty training video -- are ridiculous, especially since they're not working. Kim then tries to use Greg's bodily functions as Sam's training video, without consulting Greg. After Logan trains himself before Sam does, Greg begins to wonder if they should try Jimmy's and Christine's way, but Kim thinks they should just give up and try again later when Sam's ready. Greg, however, decides to take potty matters

Since Greg and Kim plan to go away to see Greg's folks for Thanksgiving, Jimmy wants to invite his parents over to the Warner house. But Christine doesn't want his father there as all the man does is criticize his son. Jimmy feels he can impress his pop now because he's got a great job and family. Jimmy gets his wish; after the Warners leave, Big Jimmy and Kitty arrive. And they've brought company -- Aunt Betty, Grammy and cousin Neil the ex-con. But Big Jimmy is still not impressed and keeps criticizing Jimmy since Greg foots the bill for him and he bailed out of college. Meanwhile, a blizzard forces Greg and Kim to return home, and Greg prepares to go to bed, unaware Jimmy let Grammy sleep in his room. When he finds her there, he screams so loud that he kills her. Greg tells Kim, who dials 911, then wakes up Jimmy and Christine to break the bad news. They assume that Grammy passed away in her sleep -- which Greg plays along with. After the ambulance takes her away, Jimmy tells the ot

It's Sam's and Logan's first day of nursery school, and Kim decides to butter up their teacher with cookies. When Kim and Christine go after school to pick up the kids, Christine is upset when the teacher, Miss Brooke, fawns all over Sam, then ignores Logan. Christine tells Jimmy about it that night, but he thinks she's overreacting. After trading off with the women, Greg and Jimmy go to pick the kids up the next day. Jimmy sees that Christine wasn't overreacting when Miss Brooke doesn't even know which one is Logan. At home, Christine tells Jimmy that Miss Brooke is doing it because Kim is brown-nosing her with presents, and the two talk to Kim about it. But Kim refuses to stop sucking up, so Christine and Jimmy try to outdo her by sucking up with gifts of their own. It doesn't work, Kim realizes the error of her ways, and they all confront Miss Brooke about what she's doing. After Greg and Kim offend Jimmy and Christine by suggesting she's doing it because Sam is special and Logan is

When Dominic keeps his parents up because he wants to sleep in their bed rather than the one he now shares with Logan (who kicks him at night), Kim offers to convert their spare bedroom into Dominic's new room. Though he doesn't use it, Greg still wants the room and unsuccessfully attempts to convince Dominic not to take it. The first night after Dominic moves in, Greg catches him walking out of the kitchen, then finds his wallet on the kitchen floor with all the money gone. Christine talks to Dominic about it, and when he says he didn't steal the money, nobody believes Greg. The next night, Greg finds Dominic returned his money. Greg tries to thank him, only to realize the kid is sleepwalking when Dominic kicks him and pokes him in the eye. Christine worries he may be suffering from stress caused by living in a new room. The third night Dominic sleepwalks, Kim is present when he smacks Greg and threatens to throw him out if he doesn't pay his rent. Kim thinks Greg's jokes about the Hu

Kim catches Greg off guard when she tells him she wants to have another baby. To try to talk her out of it, he uses the excuse that they're going to paint the house, and pregnant women shouldn't be around the fumes. Christine then catches Jimmy off guard when she offers their painting services. On the first day of the job, Christine and Jimmy receive a housecall from two missionaries, David and Ricky, who are going door-to-door to promote family values and do charity work... like painting houses for complete strangers. Too lazy to do it themselves, Christine and Jimmy gladly take them up on that. Jimmy's bad drinking and gambling influence rubs off on the innocent missionaries, so it's up to Jimmy and his knowledge of all things 700 Club to get them back into the faith and out of the house. Kim talks Greg into going for round 2, but just as they're about to begin, she confesses she wants another girl. And if they keep getting more boys, then they'll keep trying until they get a girl. E

When Christine catches Dominic in his fifth lie in one week, she goes to Jimmy, who decides that he has to put his foot down with the kid -- despite the fact that he's been the softie parent all along. But when Jimmy's tough talk doesn't stop Dominic from lying, he plans to give Dominic his first spanking, against Kim's advice. Christine sides with Kim at first, but then she remembers how spanking worked on her, and agrees to let Jimmy go ahead with it. Since it hurt Jimmy more than it did Dominic, Jimmy makes it up to him by offering to take him to the go-cart track. But right before their trip, Jimmy finds out from Christine that Dominic lied yet again. Although neither Jimmy nor Christine can muster up the strength to administer more corporal punishment on Dominic, they inadvertently stumble onto the answer: Jimmy tells him he's not taking him to the go-carts... thus showing him how it feels when you lie to someone.

When Jimmy lets Kim know that the studio has a two-week paternity leave policy -- that Greg's kept a secret -- she guilts Greg into taking them up on the offer. Though Mr. Savitsky thinks paternity leave is a joke and the policy was only put in the studio handbook under advisement from legal, Greg gets his two weeks off. On his first day at home, Greg finds out that Kim doesn't really have much of anything for him to do. While he begins missing work, Jimmy discovers that he'll lose his sick days if he doesn't use them by the end of the year, so he fakes illness and stays home with Greg and the women. Greg's worries that he's playing hooky aren't helped when Kim drags him to the movies, and he runs into Savitsky -- which makes him fear that the studio's headed for a financial trainwreck because he stayed home. Greg is even more worried when he pays a surprise visit to a company meeting during his leave, and finds a replacement in his chair and things going fine without him. After he com

Dominic's school holds their annual Olympics, making Greg a very happy man since the Hughes will be out of the house for two consecutive weekends. But after Dominic bombs at every single event the first weekend -- and wins a bunch of consolation prize trophies just for participating -- Jimmy is far from happy that the school rewards losers, giving Dominic no motivation to get better. Dominic is crushed after he overhears his father badmouthing him to the other adults for winning a bunch of ""garbage trophies"" Jimmy feels he didn't deserve. Realizing he acted exactly like his father would, Jimmy decides to make it up to Dominic by giving him extra encouragement the next weekend. Although Dominic doesn't win, he comes in third place in one event, then tells Jimmy that he spent the week practicing in hopes of improving, because the trophies he won were garbage. Meanwhile, after Greg brings it to Kim's attention that she's overbearing with him when it comes to home decorating, she lets him

Christine tells Jimmy not to buy a Valentine's Day gift for her this year, as she's come to the realization that the holiday is just a cheap ploy to get poor schmucks to spend their hard-earned money. Jimmy's glad that they're not exchanging gifts -- until Christine surprises him with a card the day before. Since he assumed a card was a gift, he stalls and gets her to agree to hang onto it until tomorrow, so they can swap on Valentine's Day. He then drags Greg out to the mall to buy one, but it's so last-minute that all the good cards are gone. Desperate, he enlists Greg's aid in tearing down the shop's huge display model, racking up $384 in ceiling damages in the process, and anticipates winning Christine's heart with his life-size card. But the only thing he wins is her wrath after she opens it and sees nothing more than ""Love, Jimmy,"" as opposed to the long, thoughtful message she wrote in her own. Jimmy sulks while going through her old cards to him, until Greg points out to him th

When nobody believes Greg that his hot, new female co-worker has been flirting with him, he sets up a hidden cam to catch her in the act. Meanwhile, Billy dreams of being a masseur, but has trouble convincing his co-workers to let him practice on them.

Kim and Christine plan a celebration for their grandmother's 80th birthday, and most of the Ludke family will be in attendance. Greg might be getting a VIP ticket to the NCAA Final Four in New Orleans as a gift from the studio. But the date conflicts with Grandma Nan's birthday, so Kim whines and stomps her feet in hopes that he'll give it away. He gets two tickets, and gives one to Jimmy; that way, he won't be the only one avoiding the party. When Christine hears this, she handles things just like Kim. Both men stand up to their wives, and tell them they're going no matter what, but Kim lays on a guilt trip so thick that Greg eventually throws up his hands, and gives his extra ticket to Jimmy. Jenny arrives with Grandma Nan and Kim's and Christine's aunt, Millie. Greg is irked when he discovers that their uncles were a no-show, and are at home watching the Final Four on TV. Jimmy gives Billy Greg's ticket, and they both meet sportscaster Jim Nantz, who'll be covering the games, and wh

Christine's desire to fit in better at school leads her to join a sorority, which in turns leads Jimmy to beg her to come home so he doesn't have to take care of the kids.

After seeing Christine rack her brains trying to study for a test and hearing Greg and Kim talk about the study groups they had, Jimmy tells his wife that she should join a study group. Christine doesn't want to join anything where she'll feel like a square peg, but Jimmy is persuasive enough that she gives her younger classmates' group a shot. She gets cold feet when Jimmy drives her there, and she sees the group is in a sorority house. But, because of Jimmy, she marches right into Phi Sigma Gamma and introduces herself to the sisters, who are in the middle of pledging some new blood. The girls hit it off, and after studying economics, the chapter president, Katie, and her right-hand sister, Maryanne, ask Christine to join the sorority. Since Christine already bore witness to what the pledges have to do (like be hum

Jimmy's unorthodox punishment for Dominic, who was bullying a nerd at school, backfires on the elder Hughes.

Greg plans to one-up Jimmy in the fun dad department by taking the kids to Legoland.

Greg makes an unhappy Kim be Mr. Savitsky's ""escort"" to an art gallery, but then becomes unhappy himself when Kim gains her own personal reasons for continuing the charade. Meanwhile, when Logan learns that all of his clothes once belonged to Dominic, he decides to protest hand-me-downs -- by taking them off, and going around town in his tighty whities.

Greg's open invitation to his parents and Kim to attend an L.A. Lakers game in the owner's suite doesn't pan out the way he wanted.

Greg and Jimmy have a not-so-neighborly war over Jimmy wanting to cut down a lemon tree in his backyard that Greg is attached to.

Christine wants Logan to learn not to be a quitter, but his father's tendency towards quitting send the wrong message.