Grampa falls in love with Zelda, a woman who has an interest in men who can drive. He decides to get his driver's license back, but is ignorant to Homer and Marge's concerns that she is only using him for his car.

Homer is prescribed medicinal marijuana after getting pecked in the eyes by a murder of crows. While his family and friends worry about the drug altering his personality, Homer becomes Mr. Burns's vice president after cracking up at Burns's antiquated jokes.

Homer realizes how selfish he is after he spends all the family's Christmas money on a present for himself. He becomes the nicest guy in town, making Ned Flanders jealous.

The Simpsons go on a late-night attic search after Bart and Lisa (who are freaked out over a horror movie Homer let them watch) begin hearing voices -- and find Marge's ex-prom date Artie Ziff, who's on the run for cheating the shareholders of his company.

When Marge discovers Homer has remortgaged the house to help Moe's bar, she takes over as landlady. Little does Homer know, Moe and Marge are a match made in pub heaven.

Homer's impromptu dance at a carnival leads to a job choreographing victory dances for sports stars Tom Brady, Warren Sapp, Michelle Kwan, Yao Ming and LeBron James.

Marge is shunned after Homer has an altercation with the Easter Bunny at the mayor's egg hunt. A lonely Marge joins a women's group who plan to steal $1 million from Mr Burns.

Homer is stoked for a party, where Lenny shows off his new plasma screen HD TV. Three days later and Homer still hasn’t left Lenny’s apartment. Lenny eventually gets him to leave and Marge enters them in a contest where they can win a plasma TV of their own. They don’t win, but 3rd place gets them a tour of the FOX studios, where Homer learns about a wife-swapping show where he can win enough money to buy his own plasma TV. Marge agrees to appear and they exchange wives with the Heathbar family. Charles Heathbar winds up falling in love with Marge (who is giving him what he needs), while his real wife Verity finds Homer detestable.

As the family waits for their food at “The Frying Dutchman,” they pass the time by telling stories. Lisa tells about the Mayflower’s journey to America, where Marge and her kids are Pilgrims and they are joined by a knave named Homer who joins their family to escape the authorities. Bart recounts the story of Mutiny on the Bounty featuring Skinner as Captain Bligh and Bart as Mr. Christian. Homer tells the tale of the maiden voyage of a cruise ship in the 1970s featuring of a ship that can’t flip over, which of course it does and the attempts of the survivors to get out of the ship alive.

Working through their checklists of things to do before summer ends, Lisa gets the family to go a museum. At the Springfield Museum of Natural History there is an exhibit Lisa is excited to see on Women’s History turns into an exhibit on the history of weapons, which excites Homer and Bart. When Flanders sees the exhibit of evolution and another that mocks creationism, he raises an alarm. Reverend Lovejoy gets Skinner to have creationism taught in school. Lisa is the only one who holds onto the scientific theory. She brings the topic up at the town meeting and the town votes to teach only one theory, creationism. Lisa decides to hold her own class on evolution, until she is arrested. The ACLU gives her a lawyer who is up against a slick Southern lawyer, but ultimately it’s a family member that is a key to her defense.

Lisa pretends to be Native American for multicultural day at school. Meanwhile, Bart finds love with an older woman.

A documentary filmmaker who interviewed a group of Springfield schoolchildren 32 years ago has followed up at eight-year intervals to film how their lives have unfolded.

Homer, Apu, Moe and Skinner volunteer as firemen after Homer's sleepwalking accident injures the town's firefighters. They do some light looting at the fires to make up for not being compensated, but Marge and Lisa shame them into mending their ways.