Homer catches Mr. Burns in an ether-induced haze and asks for $500 for his bowling team. When Burns' head clears, he demands to join the team. Meanwhile, Bart's inflammatory T-shirt provokes Principal Skinner to require school uniforms.

Washed up and plagued by scandal, Troy McClure sees a marriage to Selma as his ticket back to success.

Designated driver Barney absconds to Manhattan in Homer's car and leaves it there. But when the family journeys to the Big Apple to retrieve their property, Homer discovers his car has been booted.

When Homer joins the Naval Reserve, a captain takes a liking to him and leaves him in charge of a nuclear submarine.