Krusty discovers that he never had a bar mitzvah as a child. He quits his show to have it as an adult, with the help of his father, Rabbi Krustofski. Meanwhile, Homer hosts a late-night talk show a la "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" as a replacement for Krusty's show.

Homer realizes how selfish he is after he spends all the family's Christmas money on a present for himself. He becomes the nicest guy in town, making Ned Flanders jealous.

When a group of singles, seniors, childless couples, teens and gays band together to protest having to accommodate families (including paying property taxes used to teach children they do not have) after a riot at a children's concert, Marge takes up the cause for the families, with some help from Bart and Lisa.

Homer builds a battle robot to win Bart's respect, and places it in a tournament against other robots. What Bart does not know, though, is that the robot is actually Homer in costume. Meanwhile, Snowball II dies and Lisa tries to find a replacement cat.

Marge writes a romance novel with characters based on Homer and Ned Flanders that becomes a hit. Meanwhile, Homer gets fired from the power plant again and becomes an ambulance driver.

When the local library proves to be useless for the kids' class project, Marge tells Milhouse, Bart, and Lisa three Simpsons-style historical accounts: Henry VIII's (Homer's) attempts at siring a son, Lewis and Clark (Lenny and Carl) exploring the USA's wilderness with Sacagawea (Lisa), and Salieri (Lisa again) out to ruin piano-playing virtuoso Mozart (Bart).

Bart finds a friend in his own sister Lisa after Milhouse moves away to Capitol City to live with his divorced mom. Meanwhile Homer goes into panhandling to buy anniversary gifts for Marge. Later on Milhouse returns and Bart goes back being friends with him.

The Simpsons go on a late-night attic search after Bart and Lisa (who are freaked out over a horror movie Homer let them watch) begin hearing voices -- and find Marge's ex-prom date Artie Ziff, who's on the run for cheating the shareholders of his company.

When Maggie does better than Lisa on an IQ test, Lisa becomes upset over no longer being the smart one and tries to lead Maggie astray.

Homer and Marge's bond becomes stronger when they both get drunk on wine, but soon the bond unravels when Homer blames Marge for crashing the car and Marge gets sent to rehab. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa complain to Randall Curtis (a George Lucas-esque science fiction movie director) about his latest film.

Bart gets sent to juvenile hall after fooling everyone that there was a marriage concerning him. He encounters a dangerous girl there... He flees with Gina, but then the two are caught by Wiggum.

After hearing that Skinner is getting cold feet about their wedding, Edna leaves Skinner at the altar and, after sending back one marriage gift, hooks up with Comic Book Guy. Meanwhile, Homer and Marge have an argument about if their marriage is still solid or not.

Homer and Marge recall the story of their first kiss at a summer camp when they were children—an event which was not all happy, as Homer (unwillingly) betrayed Marge by standing her up on their second date.

After a ruined movie night, thanks to Bart and Lisa, Homer and Marge take a vacation away from them, but decide to go to Miami instead of going to see an uncle. When Bart and Lisa catch wind of their parents' secret plan, Bart steals Rod's credit card (just like Homer stole Ned's) and go after them.

Homer becomes "Pie Man", a masked vigilante who delivers a pie in the face of justice to evildoers. However, after attacking Mr. Burns, Burns hires him as a personal hitman, until Homer is ordered to attack the Dalai Lama.

Homer, Grampa, Apu and Flanders travel to Canada to buy sorely needed prescription drugs with fake Canadian health-care cards.

After receiving an injection from Dr. Hibbert, Bart becomes temporarily deaf, which makes him impervious to being bullied, until he accidentally moons the American flag during a donkey basketball game, prompting everyone in town to accuse the Simpsons of being unpatriotic under the new "Government Knows Best" Act.

Mr. Burns buys out Springfield's media outlets after a newspaper mistakenly reports his death, and Lisa's homemade newspaper is next on his list.

Marge finds Nelson and acts as a mother figure towards him due to her children's loss of interest in her. Meanwhile, Lisa gets teased about her big butt, and becomes obsessed with her weight.

Marge gets her kitchen remodeled and the dishes she makes inside it get rave reviews. The suggestion of Ned Flanders leads her to enter a cooking contest. However, Marge realizes the competition is harder than it seems. Meanwhile, Bart finds Homer's vintage Playdude magazines and decides to adopt the lifestyle he sees within the articles.

When Bart writes slogans on T-shirts, he catches the attention of Goose Gladwell, a gag-gift entrepreneur, and soon becomes a T-shirt mogul; Homer feels he no longer has a place in the family when Bart becomes the breadwinner.

Marge meets up with a former high-school pal who is now a famous news anchor, and she wonders if she made the right life choice.

Ned Flanders' head injury gives him the power to predict others' deaths, Bart and Lisa play detective when a string of Victorian-era prostitutes are murdered by Jack the Ripper, and the Simpsons go on a fantastic voyage inside Mr. Burns' body to save Maggie.