Madeline tells Gonzo she thinks he's terrific on the show, and the ego-starved Gonzo instantly falls in love with her. He drops in to Miss Piggy's dressing room to tell her he no longer has a crush on her, which pleases her until she finds out that he likes someone else. Gonzo's obsession takes him to the brink of marrying her until hearing her comments to Kermit of his going off the deep end breaks his fragile heart.

Fozzie Bear is so intimidated by the thought of meeting Milton Berle, "the King of Comics," that he spends the whole show hiding from the guest star. His flimsy disguises don't fool Kermit or Scooter, but when Fozzie finally overhears Milton saying that he'd like to do a song-and-dance with him, Fozzie springs out of hiding, and the pair performs "Top Banana" together in baggy pants and big shoes.

Gonzo catches a cannonball with his bare hand, which stretches his arm out. Fozzie and Floyd crack jokes about the situation. Gonzo turns to John for help, but John ends up pulling the rest of his limbs out to match.

Meanwhile, John isn't pleased with being on the show. He's tied to his chair before the show, he complains about the number of pigs and monsters on the show, and he gets roped into doing a closing number.

Kermit is at home sick so Fozzie has to run the show and proves how bad he could be by having Crazy Harry of all people have an opening skit "Target Practice", then getting "Vets' Hospital" and "At The Dance" on the same stage at the same time, causing a lot of trouble for the bear and his costars.

Gonzo auditions real chickens for his dancing chicken act. Due to a last-minute cancellation, he finally gets on stage, but his chicken Lolita hardly moves.

Inspired by Edgar and his dummies, Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd, Fozzie tries his hand at a ventriloquism act. Unfortunately, he doesn't really understand the principle behind the act, and expects his dummy to talk on his own.

Miss Piggy hires Scooter to pay off the audience to go wild for her. She also has him send her dozens of bouquets and write her piles of fan mail, all part of an attempt to get Kermit to notice her more. Piggy and Scooter stage a conversation for Kermit to overhear, in which she pretends to have an offer from another show, but Kermit isn't fooled. After finding out from Scooter what's really going on, he tells Piggy he's heard about her offer and has decided to let her go. When she breaks down in tears, sobbing that she can't leave him, Kermit agrees to take her back, but at a lower salary. After all, if she can afford to have Scooter pay off the audience for her... Miss Piggy gets hysterical and depressed, but is refreshed by Dom DeLuise.

Miss Piggy overhears Kermit tell Scooter that she's getting too fat to do her ballet number next week, so she decides to go on a diet. She breaks a scale weighing herself, and collapses after exercising with a TV show for a few minutes.

Fozzie Bear has a new rollerskating act, but since he doesn't know how to skate, he spends the entire episode careening around backstage. He eventually manages to roll out onto the stage to tell his jokes, but when he gets too ambitious and tries to skate backwards on one leg, he falls off the stage.

Sketches/Songs: The Electric Mayhem, A Wagner opera performed, "Swine Lake", "Something's Missing", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "It's Cold Outside", "Clair De Lune", "Top Hat"

Sketches/Songs: "Leatherwing Bat", "Pigs In Space", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly", "Muppet Newsflash", "Talk to the Trees", "Koozebanian Phoob", "Do-Re-Mi", "Swedish Chef", "Send in the Clowns"

Sketches/Songs: "Tweedle Dee Dee", "Swedish Chef", "At the Dance", "English Country Garden", "Talk Spot", "Pigs In Space", "Muppet Newsflash", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "That Old Black Magic"

Fozzie heard that Roy Clark was going to bring Country to the show and sent all of the stagehands out to the country. Matters are complicated even more when a fire breaks out backstage and Fozzie tries to keep it a secret from Kermit.

Sketches/Songs: ""Staying Alive"", ""How Can You Be"", Fozzie's dance number, ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""Beethoven's Sonata No.8, Opus 13"", ""You and Me Against the World"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Tie Me Kangaroo Down"", ""We'll Sing in the Sunshine""

Sketches/Songs: ""Octopus's Garden"", ""The Medium"", ""Eight Little Notes"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Catch a Falling Star"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Short People""

Sketches/Songs: ""Russian Pig Dance"", ""Dance"", ""Muppet Sports"", ""Someone to Watch Over Me"", ""Do-Re-Mi"", ""Our House"", ""The Wedding""

Sketches/Songs: "Aquarius," "Lunchtime," "Cheek to Cheek," "Jogging," "Swedish Chef," "The Flying Zucchini Brothers," "The Municipal Vermin Abatement Code," "Inchworm"

Sketches/Songs: ""True Love"", ""South Rampart Street Parade"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""There's a New Sound"", ""I Enjoy Being a Girl"", Gonzo's Act, ""Sunshine on my Shoulder""

Sketches/Songs: ""Day-O"", ""Tea For Two"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Honeysuckle Rose"", Animal and Harry play the drums, ""Muppet Sports"", ""Turn the World Around""

Sketches/Songs: Gonzo's first motorcycle jump, ""Beauty and the Beast"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Mack the Knife"", ""Just the Way You Are"", Gonzo's second motorcycle jump, ""Last Dance""

Sketches/Songs: ""Never on Sunday"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""She Wants to Sing in Opera"", ""Liberace bird concert""

Sketches/Songs: ""Hey There, Good Times"", ""Muppet Labs"", ""Here You Come Again"", ""Mad About the Frog"", ""Bear on Patrol"", ""Vendawish"", ""Camilla"", ""Love Will Keep Us Together""

Sketches/Songs: ""Hawaiian War Chant"", ""Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"", ""Lady Be Good"", ""The William Tell Overture"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", Fozzie's Act, ""Bird in a Gilded Cage""

Dudley has a surprise for Kermit, a robot that can do the work of the entire band and of course the Electric Mayhem feel threatened by this fact.

When Bobby Benson has to talk to a police officer someone has to take care of his babies. Unfortunately, the babies go wild without their daddy around and beat up people they don't like.

The pigs are excited that guest star Beverly Sills plans to perform the opera "Pigoletto" as the closing number.

Inspired by mimes Shields & Yarnell, Fozzie Bear works on a mime act, including "Bear walking against the wind". Kermit suggests that Fozzie find a more original act, so Fozzie tries out "Bear feeding spaghetti to an elephant" and "Bear going to a drive-in movie with a porcupine".

Statler is sick (of the show), so Waldorf brings his wife Astoria to the show. Meanwhile, Inspector LaBrea of the County Environmental Department arrives backstage to monitor the noise level of the show. LaBrea tells Kermit that to keep the noise down, he has to cut the trumpets for the show. Kermit tries to keep LaBrea busy while Dizzy performs.

After years of failure Gonzo is actually appriciated for the actor he is and decides to quit the Muppet Show and move on to movies. Piggy, more jealous than sad, asks Gonzo to refer her to the director. This is one of the episodes that teeters on the edge of being very sad.

Scooter bugs everyone by leaving his skateboard lying around. Kermit trips on it and smashes a set. Later, Anne performs while the Muppets all dance on skateboards.

Alan accidentally drinks Bunsen Honeydew's Jekyll-and-Hyde potion, and turns into a rampaging monster. He runs amuck, as the ultra-cute Bun-Bun Brothers sing "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah." When Kermit catches Alan in a net, he turns back into himself. Soon, Kermit takes a sip of the potion himself.

Fozzie Bear tries out a magic act, pulling a rabbit from a hat. Instead, he gets a rabbi, and then a robot. He taps the hat too hard, and gets dozens of rabbits, who follow him around and call him "Daddy."

Miss Piggy asks Andy to sing "Love Story" for her and Kermit, who have just become engaged. Unfortunately, Kermit hasn't heard about the engagement yet. The rumor slips out, and soon everyone thinks Kermit and Piggy are getting married.

Miss Piggy buys a cute new pair of shoes, but they're too small, and she can't walk in them. She wants to take them back, but Kermit compliments them, so she has to keep wearing them. She complains to Carol, who says she should have them stretched, and gives them to the gigantic Timmy Monster, who runs around the block in them.

The show's audience members are getting horrified at everyone on stage except Diana Ross.

Animal hits it off with tough guy James Coburn -- but James decides that Animal isn't centered enough, and introduces him to meditation and Zen. Animal doesn't take well to Zen.

Afraid that Linda will steal her frog away, Piggy locks Kermit up in a chest owned by Gonzo when Scooter helps him move his mildew ""collection"" and hides it.

Browsing through an old book of magic spells, Tony accidentally turns Miss Piggy into stone. He considers bringing her to a stonemason for help. Fozzie, Gonzo and Floyd crack stone jokes as Kermit and Tony try to find a spell to change her back. Of course, the show must go on, and the Piggy statue takes the stage for "Pigs in Space".

Rizzo and the other rats bother Kermit for a spot on the show, so Kermit asks Beauregard to "take care of them." Of course, Bo takes that literally, and treats them as guests. The rats make Beau their president, and manipulate him into giving them food. The rats eventually become so bold that they decide to take over the show. Kermit says Beau has to kick them out, or he goes with them. Beau chooses to stick with his new rat friends, until Miss Piggy enlightens him.

Glenda reveals herself to be Black Jackson the pirate captain, and she takes over the Muppet Theater with the help of Short John Silver (Sweetums) and Eric, a heartless pirate parrot (in disguise as a penguin). They tie Kermit up, turn the theater into a ship, and cast off to look for buried treasure. The show ends with a musical battle at sea, with Gonzo and a crew of chickens fighting to save Kermit and the theater.

Gene is under the impression that he's a "guest" -- that is, he's going to sit and watch, but not perform onstage. Frantic, Kermit tricks him into performing by asking him to give him a dance lesson on-stage. Kermit plans a surprise closing number, "Singin' in the Rain," Gene refuses, saying that he doesn't think he'll ever sing the song as good as he did in the movie, but he does eventually sing it backstage. Meanwhile, Scooter uses his Tarot cards to predict that the world is coming to an end. Beauregard believes him, and tries to convince the rest of the cast the apocalypse is near.

Statler and Waldorf get their chance to do a better show than Kermit--they play host, while Kermit and Fozzie heckle from the balcony. Unfortunately, Statler and Waldorf's acts don't turn out exactly as they plan.

The Berlin National Opera Company cancels and are replaced by the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers. Hal's Fourth of July number is invaded by Gonzo on a sleigh singing Christmas songs. Finally, Statler and Waldorf admit that the show is harder to put together than it looks and happily go back to complaining from the balcony.

Robin's Frog Scout troop visits the show, getting in everyone's way backstage. They ask Debbie for help earning their punk merit badges, and she teaches them how to do the pogo. When Gonzo cancels his act, the Frog Scouts get their chance to do a performance of close-order drills.

In honor of Johnny Cash's appearance, the show is simulcast over country radio station WHOG, and the radio broadcast threatens to overwhelm the actual show. The head of WHOG, Big Tiny Tall Saddle, insists on making all the decisions. He refuses to let Rowlf go on, and instead schedules Grampaw McGuire and his whistling bricks. Kermit tries to run his own show, but Big Tiny is one of the toughest men alive -- when he's annoyed, he has a habit of wrapping microphone stands around people's necks. Fozzie is replaced by Wally Whoopie, a stand-up comedian who makes fun of the bear -- which inspires Kermit to stand up for his friend, and his show.

There's no show today, almost; the theater is turned into a dance marathon hosted by Gonzo.

Paul inspires Gonzo to be a songwriter. Unfortunately, Gonzo writes songs like "For You": "For youuu... I'd wash my hair with stinky glue, I'd fry my legs and eat them too, I'd put a spider in my shoe -- for yoouuuu!" Paul is stunned. Later, Gonzo's chickens run off with Paul, so Gonzo develops a new obsession -- asparagus. But at the end of the episode both the chickens and the asparagus run away when Paul asks for chicken with a side of asparagus.

A messenger brings a message from the scheduled guest star -- Benny Brillstein, the Yiddish yodeler. Benny refuses to be on the show, so Kermit asks Chris, the messenger boy, to be the guest. Chris knows a joke, so Kermit introduces him as a comedian.