Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl try out for the school's sumo wrestling team. For being big and fat, Cow is the new team member. Soon, everyone fears her, and she feels degected, but it benefits Chicken, because now no one will beat him up.

Cow and Chicken's class go on a field trip to the Cometorium, where Chicken is bored stiff. After getting hit by one of Dad's golf balls (he was golfing right next door), Chicken hangs it in front of the telescope; soon, the whole town is in panic of the arrival of ""Dad's Ball Comet"".

The school's newspaper editor has been fired. Teacher then brings in The Red Guy, as reporter Geraldo Rearviewa to advise. He decides to produce a new school-news show, and makes Chicken the anchorman, and Cow the editor. But soon, Red Guy's false stories makes Chicken loses friends.

Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.

After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).

Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.

Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.

Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies.

Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.

The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.

Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.

Cow tags along with Chicken, Flem, and Earl on their camping trip in the tree fort. Cow says that if Chicken, Flem, or Earl touch her dream catcher that they'll die. Chicken accidentally breaks her dream catcher, and soon, he, Flem and Earl are at the mercy of Cow's worst nightmare: The Milkman.

P.E. Chicken, Flem, and Earl are finally 6th graders, and are ready for their first day at junior high. Once in their gym class they find it difficult to put up with a strict P.E. teacher, and bully twins.

Cow and Chicken have a big test the next day at school but when Chicken forgets to study, he tries to fake all kinds of illnesses to avoid going to school. After holding his thermometer over the grill, Mom and Dad call the doctor who makes housecalls: The Red Guy.

Chicken is fed up with Cow's constant babbling, and wishes for her to shut up. Cow then gives Chicken the silent treatment. Chicken soon regrets when Cow doesn't tell him about an oncoming truck, and not representing him in court.

Sick of their everyday life of being squirted with milk, Cow's favorite toys: Crabs the Warthog Doll, Piles the Beaver Doll, and Manure the Bear decide to run away to find their original owner. After reading Manure's tag that says ""Made In Hong Kong"", they assume their original owner is a maiden named Hong Kong, and set out on a quest to find her.

Dad loves shopping for Mom's stuff. He runs off to get a manicure for her, while Cow and Chicken pay for the other items. The censors go off when Cow passes through, so Red Guy, as a mall cop, chases Cow and Chicken all over the store. Cow learns that the censors have been broken for weeks. Red Guy walks through, and is arrest by the REAL mall cops.

Now Red Guy's Dr. Hiney, and says that Chicken is a deformed duck. With that, he takes Chicken to the hospital for a wattle-ex-tamy.