Complaining that Alf is a shabby dresser, Camille also wants him to take out life insurance in case he goes first. At the pub, a discussion on health does anything but allay Mr. Carey's fears about getting a hip replacement in view of Alf's hospital horror stories.

Alf decides to earn some money by window cleaning for Mrs. Carey. Despite failing to get any wages, he gets lots of free groceries after catching the milkman in a compromising position.

As jury service draws closer, Alf is worried about the possibility of revenge from the criminal fraternity.

As Alf's wedding to Camille approaches, the preparations unfold: gift giving, Alf's stag night, and finally the big event itself.

Following the non-wedding, the happy couple hold separate receptions with their same sex friends. Just before Christmas, Camille attends confession, where the priest informs her that she has wronged Alf and should do penance. To Alf, this means cooking and cleaning for him and, to maximise guilt, pretends he'd booked a luxury honeymoon. Camille, however, rebels and, when the priest visits to ensure further penance, ensures her money's worth.

Alf decides to become one of Mrs. Thatcher's entrepreneurs. He enlists Michael's support in a car parking scheme on match day and starts a paper round.

After holding forth on moral issues, Alf goes to the pub where the big news is that Mr. Johnson's wife has left him for her lesbian lover. To make matters worse, she intends to move her into the marital home. Alf, of course, blames the French for introducing permissiveness into the country and ends up threatened by Mrs. Johnson for his pains.

Alf is worried about Camille's bad leg, not out of any tender feelings, rather that her leg prevents her cooking and cleaning for him.

Camille forces Alf to move her wardrobe, but he discovers a compartment containing a briefcase full of banknotes.

Now wealthy, Alf sees life in a new way. The bank manager is curious as to how Alf acquired his money. Alf enters a private hospital to spend his money before he dies.