Alf tests the patience of good-natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over. Meanwhile, Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair ends in drunken calamity.

Alf returns from the funeral of Else, his long-suffering wife. Having lost her disability allowance of E30 and half the pension, life ahead is not too rosy.

When Rita and Winston come in at night making a noise, Camille decides to start locking the flats' door at 10:30. But can Alf make it back from the pub in time?

Camille's obsession with locking doors takes on new dimensions when she even locks Alf into his own flat but then he needs to go to toilet. Meanwhile, the shopkeeper wants to call in Elsa's debts, and the milkman has some news about her gambling.

Fed up with everybody having a Sunday roast except him, Alf makes his first trip to market. But he's forgotten he can't cook.

Alf's old neighbour Min turns up uninvited with her senile sister.

When Rita wins a winter sun holiday abroad, Alf complains about having to spend Christmas alone.

Alf's joy at Rita's pending divorce is short lived when he learns she is to live with the new doctor.

When Alf is given a cordless telephone, it turns out to be more of hindrance than help.

Alf has a fight at a tea dance and meets up again with his adversary outside his house.

Alf is spending Christmas in hospital for a hip replacement but his visitors' scare stories of what could go wrong propel him into fleeing from the ward dressed as a woman - which incurs a drunk's unwanted attention. Back at the house he is outraged when Mrs Hollingbery's sister turns up after his room,being told that he is not expected to live but all is forgiven when Mrs Hollingbery invites everybody upstairs for a Christmas party. Unfortunately he has forgotten the loose stair rod and ends up back in the hospital.