Having scrubbed the hall and disapproved of Else's using the milkman to place bets, Alf feels that they're entitled to home help, but manages to antagonise three women in succession. Returning from the pub, he finds that the latest is Winston, an extremely flamboyant gay Black man who will clearly take no nonsense.

Alf tests the patience of good-natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over. Meanwhile, Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair ends in drunken calamity.