Warren Mitchell as Alf Garnett
Episodes 42
Episode 1
Alf and Else Garnett are back in London. Else is severely arthritic and can barely walk and Alf extols the joys of the wheelchair has got her — until he has to push her around in it. With so many cars parked on the pavement, he uses the middle of the road, incurring a motorist's wrath. It gets him access to sports matches — at least until he spoils it for himself.
Read MoreEpisode 2
Having complained about his failing eye sight – and just about everything else – Alf takes Else out in her wheelchair and buys her a cornet whilst avoiding giving money to the vicar. However, his poor sight proves his undoing when he accidentally goes into a ladies' toilet and is arrested as a sex pest.
Read MoreEpisode 3
Having scrubbed the hall and disapproved of Else's using the milkman to place bets, Alf feels that they're entitled to home help, but manages to antagonise three women in succession. Returning from the pub, he finds that the latest is Winston, an extremely flamboyant gay Black man who will clearly take no nonsense.
Read MoreEpisode 4
Alf tests the patience of good-natured Fred Johnson and his wife from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Fred by buying him so many drinks he falls over. Meanwhile, Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair ends in drunken calamity.
Read MoreEpisode 5
Rita comes to visit and no sooner is she through the door than Alf argues with her about Else. After Alf criticises Margaret Thatcher, claiming that no woman should be PM, Else and Rita gang up against him with Winston, who brings an equally camp friend home to throw a party for Rita.
Read MoreEpisode 6
Tired of pushing Else around in her chair, Alf looks into an electric scooter but they cost £2,500 and Social Security informs Alf that, as long as he's able to push, Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some go-karting kids, Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair, which goes out of control, foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He's declared a hero but, following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him, decides to remain anonymous.
Read MoreChristmas Special 1985
Rita has come to stay but announces her intention to go back home on Christmas Eve. In order to persuade her to stay and help him look after Else Alf falls off a ladder and claims to have injured his leg. However,whilst Rita does stay,the knees up at the Christmas Day party goes so well that Alf's enthusiastic participation soon exposes his supposedly bad leg as nothing more than a ruse.
Read MoreChristmas Special 1986
When Rita wins a winter sun holiday abroad, Alf complains about having to spend Christmas alone.
Read MoreEpisode 6
On a boiling hot summer day, Alf goes to Social Security to complain that he should've had more money in last winter's heating allowance to no avail. Back home, he joins his friends watching cricket on television and falls asleep, loudly dreaming that he has been knighted for his services to the game.
Read MoreChristmas Special 1987
Alf is spending Christmas in hospital for a hip replacement but his visitors' scare stories of what could go wrong propel him into fleeing from the ward dressed as a woman - which incurs a drunk's unwanted attention. Back at the house he is outraged when Mrs Hollingbery's sister turns up after his room,being told that he is not expected to live but all is forgiven when Mrs Hollingbery invites everybody upstairs for a Christmas party. Unfortunately he has forgotten the loose stair rod and ends up back in the hospital.
Read MoreEpisode 2
Encouraged by Arthur, Alf continues to pursue Camille, even getting down on one knee to propose though she wants time to think. After a night at the pub, a surprise engagement party is thrown for the still undecided couple, but when Camille learns that, as husband and wife, they could buy the house for a fifth of its worth, she's quick to accept.
Read MoreEpisode 3
Alf and Camille are now engaged to be married and Alf has already started to enjoy her cooking. They treat Arthur, who thinks he's won the pools, to a celebration dinner. Naturally, Alf has to remind Arthur who his best friend is, as best friends share everything.
Read MoreEpisode 4
Alf and Camille are preparing for a trip to Australia to meet her rich brother, in the hope that he'll lend them money to buy their house cheap off the council once married. Alf, ever the romantic, persuades Arthur, as best man, to accompany them so he can have someone to talk to (Camille doesn't count). It could also have something to do with the fact that Alf is terrified of making the trip.
Read MoreEpisode 5
On the flight to Australia, Arthur, Alf and Camille are nervous passengers though Alf's argument with a steward who forbids him to smoke breaks the monotony. Upon arrival, Alf argues with a man who turns out to be Mrs H's brother Ricky but, back at his house, the two bond over their shared racism.
Read MoreEpisode 6
Alf, Camille and Arthur have a day sightseeing, starting in a cafe where Alf defends Hitler. After Alf has rowed with a lazy lifeguard over a non-existent drowning victim, the trio take a boat trip and Alf soon discovers that he and his bride-to-be hold a variety of differing views. As far as Alf is concerned, one thing is for sure though: Australians are descended from convicts and they are still not to be trusted.
Read MoreChristmas Special 1989
Facing another Christmas with a frugal dinner Alf cons the vicar into giving him a Christmas hamper but Mrs Hollingbery refuses to accept it because it has been dishonestly obtained. So Alf takes it to the pub to raffle,making sure that most of the slips of paper with the winning name on bear his. However he is outwitted at the last minute by the equally devious Bert Luscombe.
Read MorePower Cut
As a result of a power cut, Alf and Camille repair to the candlelit pub where Alf sounds off about Margaret Thatcher, despite her being a Conservative. This sets off an argument with Arthur and Mr. Johnson about a number of things – including death, the undertaker at the next table unsettling Alf.
Read MoreSuicide
They may be halfway up the aisle but Alf and his bride-to-be are still arguing, especially when she wants to throw out his furniture as being tat. A fake overdose attempt cuts no ice so Alf is off to the pub to talk about suicide, death and Heaven – though Fred Johnson, as an atheist, is having none of it.
Read MoreX-Rays
Complaining that Alf is a shabby dresser, Camille also wants him to take out life insurance in case he goes first. At the pub, a discussion on health does anything but allay Mr. Carey's fears about getting a hip replacement in view of Alf's hospital horror stories.
Read MoreWindow Cleaning
Alf decides to earn some money by window cleaning for Mrs. Carey. Despite failing to get any wages, he gets lots of free groceries after catching the milkman in a compromising position.
Read MoreChristmas Special 1990
Following the non-wedding, the happy couple hold separate receptions with their same sex friends. Just before Christmas, Camille attends confession, where the priest informs her that she has wronged Alf and should do penance. To Alf, this means cooking and cleaning for him and, to maximise guilt, pretends he'd booked a luxury honeymoon. Camille, however, rebels and, when the priest visits to ensure further penance, ensures her money's worth.
Read MoreWheelchair
Alf decides to become one of Mrs. Thatcher's entrepreneurs. He enlists Michael's support in a car parking scheme on match day and starts a paper round.
Read MoreLesbian
After holding forth on moral issues, Alf goes to the pub where the big news is that Mr. Johnson's wife has left him for her lesbian lover. To make matters worse, she intends to move her into the marital home. Alf, of course, blames the French for introducing permissiveness into the country and ends up threatened by Mrs. Johnson for his pains.
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