A Roman emperor finds a nasty alternative to candles, and an Egyptian tries to save money.

The Tudors sing their family history, Bob explains the complete history of Rome in two minutes, and a mad Victorian gentleman eats King Louis XIV's mummified heart.

A priest makes a piano from live pigs, Emperor Caligula declares war on the sea, and there are some disgusting beauty tips from Ancient Egypt.

There is a terrible smell in the Houses of Parliament, Cinderella struggles with the Blitz, and Helen of Troy reveals her complicated love life.

A Victorian inspector checks that school is suitably cruel, HHTV News reports live from the Great Plague, and Thumbelina drowns unpleasantly.

HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads, and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.

A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.

A lazy aristocrat invents the sandwich, the Romans host their own revolting cookery show and William Shakespeare is haunted by the ghost of King Richard III.

A prank-loving emperor hosts a dinner party on Roman Come Dine with Me, the Durham Home Guard injure themselves while learning first aid, and the Viking rock band paint the town red... literally.

A pirate captain regrets stealing a herd of seasick cows, a Georgian sportsman invents a whole new way of boxing, King Charles II raps about his party lifestyle, and the Georgian army goes to war against a bunch of naughty schoolboys.

Britain's greatest sailor, Admiral Nelson, turns out to be horribly seasick, two doctors from the Middle Ages argue over how to treat a patient, discover the many uses for an Incan llama, and the World War 2 Girls sing about Girl Power on the Home Front.

The Ug and Ugio families go head to head on Stone Age Family Fortunes, mad King George III's doctors are even madder than he is, and Emperor Elagabalus launches his pranktastic Roman lottery.

Some Vikings attack a monastery but can't remember why, a peasant gets a posh makeover on Georgian Fashion Fix, Crimewatch BC tries to solve the murder of Julius Caesar, and prepare to be confused by the Egyptian Hieroglyphics song.

Robert Walpole struggles to talk to England's German king, a Scottish sportsman attacks dead cows in the Highland Games, American inventor Paul Revere demonstrates his gunpowder toothpaste, and the Roman Emperors channel the King of Pop in their musical argument over who's baddest of all.