Cartman has a new Trapper Keeper (that blows Kyle's out of the water) After he's done bragging, a stranger tells him that it will soon take over the world if they don't destroy it now. Cool 2001: A Space Odyssey and Akira parodies!

This is the story of Pip's origin. Pip gets a job at the Havesham Estate where he meets Estella. She only spurns his optimism with insults. When Pip is offered the opportunity to become a gentleman he goes to London only to discover that Miss Havesham plans to break his heart. Her plan is to use Pip's tears to power her Genesis device and will allow her to gain revenge on all men.

Kyle and Ike anxiously await Mr. Hankey. When he doesn't show, Kyle calls the others for a late night emergency meeting. They find Mr. Hankey living with his alcoholic wife and their three little nuggets. He tells them that no one is into Christmas. They all decide to try and spread some Christmas cheer. Their effort fails and the boys decide to create an animated special of their own. Featuring Jesus, Santa Claus and themselves.

The you-know-what hits the fan 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word "Sh*t" on the popular show, "Cop Drama." Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC plotting further use of the curse word, as the nation is struck by a mysterious plague that unleashes the ancient Knights of Standards and Practices. Only Chef and the boys can save South Park, and the world!

With their parents stuck in Time Share Hell, our boys are on their own on the slopes of Aspen, circa 1985. Stan gets challenged to a ski race and must win in order to save the youth center, get the girl, and free the trapped spirits of the Wakacha Vampire Indians. Not that he really cares.

After participating in a walk-out against the war in Iraq, Mr. Garrison tells the boys they have to write a report on the founding fathers. Cartman decides he's going to figure out a way to flashback to the past and learn all about history first hand.

A new student, Gary Harrison, joins the 4th grade. Gary is a Mormon from Utah. The children decide he needs to get his ass kicked, and they choose Stan to do it. After an awkward exchange of words, Stan is invited to Gary's house, where he learns all about Mormons.

After seeing an auditorium presentation on the dangers of smoking (and in some ways, not smoking), the boys light up behind the school and are soon caught in the middle of Rob Reiner's Anti-Tobacco campaign.

When Ike is claimed by his Canadian birth parents, the boys set out to gain an audience with the Canadian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Cartman's biggest concern is that the boys don't spend all of Christmas in Canada.

Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.

Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon, Family Guy. Kyle loves it and Cartman hates it. When the show airs some controversial content the boys go on a cross country chase with the fate of Family Guy lying with the first boy to reach Hollywood.

Towelie writes a book and it gets selected for Oprah’s book club. It becomes a best seller with everyone getting a lot help for their addictions; until a faction of Oprah's staff leak the truth about the book.

Cartman reveals who masterminded the attacks of 9/11, while Kyle and Stan search for the real truth; meanwhile Mr. Mackey just wants to know who dropped the deuce in the urinal.

The topic of evolution is introduced to the 4th graders of South Park Elementary and while their teacher is against the theory a change of mind has implications for the future. And speaking of the future, Cartman is trying to send himself there; to the exact date that the newest video game console, the Nintendo Wii is being released.

Last week, in an attempt to make his wait for the Wii instantaneous, Cartman froze himself. Through a bizarre twist of fate, he woke up 500 years in the future, where there are warring factions, some angry sea otters, and worst of all: No Nintendo Wii! Will Cartman get out of this crazy future? Or will he be doomed to never get his hands on the Wii?

When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Mrs. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.

The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Meanwhile, Cartman suspects that a new Muslim student is involved in a possible terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his own interrogation methods on his suspect. But could the plan to target Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?

Once again Ms. Garrison gets dumped, but this time she decides to take it out on her fourth grade class. When the boys have finally had enough of their teacher's erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they find out that there are people-for-hire that can help out in any situation. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison is finding life without men has its upsides.

The number of homeless people in South Park is increasing as they eat, sleep, and beg for change across the town. While the adults try to find creative solutions to deal with the homeless, the boys are trying to figure out a way to solve the problem for good

Stan's dad becomes South Park's home-town hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap. Randy contacts a society that keeps track of the world record, thinking his masterpiece would definitely be a contender.

Stan and Kyle are being held captive at the Pentagon until they tell the government exactly how they got into Imaginationland. Elsewhere, Cartman will not give up his quest to make Kyle follow through on their bet to suck his balls.

Inside Imaginationland, Stan and Butters engage in the battle of their lives as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces. Meanwhile, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get Kyle to suck his balls.

While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.