You're invited to the #ThinkBrink Memorial Gala and Fundraiser tonight at Godolkin University! Make sure to dress your best when the doors open at 7PM and you hit the red carpet! Then join the world's hottest superheroes and celebrities for selfies and complimentary champagne, and enjoy a touching tribute video to the legendary Professor Brinkerhoff, featuring A-Train, The Deep, and Polarity!

REWARD! Last night, The Incredible Steve attended an off-campus party where his penis was lost. He just wants it back, so his family is offering a $10,000 REWARD for its safe return, no questions asked. Please contact the Godolkin Daily Classifieds Office or the Lost-and-Found Desk at the Godolkin Student Union.