Lurcio struggles to deliver the prologue; Ludicrus Sextus suggests the price of freedom should be 500 drachma; and Captain Bilius' shipment of slave girls brings an opportunity to make money.

Ludicrus Sextus must choose Miss Vestal Virgin of BC72, Noxious plots to rig the contest because of the Senator's stance on bawdy houses, and Lurcio is told to find someone more suitable.

Lurcio is given the night off when everyone goes out. Ammonia, Ludicrus and Erotica each give him money so that he'll be out of the house for the evening. Lurcio, however, has other ideas. He's expecting a visit from new neighbour, Lusha. He uses the money to buy a love potion and looks forward to a night of pleasure. Everything goes according to plan ... until the various members of the family sneak back home, expecting the house to be empty.

Lurcio is looking after the house while the family are away. He agrees to hide two escaped slaves. Then various members of the family return home unexpectedly.

Lurcio becomes involved in attempts to prevent Pompeii from going to war with the Barbarians. One of h anti-war activities involves trying to persuade the women of Pompeii to deny conjugal rights if their husbands get involved in the war.

Ludicrus loses his seat on the Senate. He decides to sell up and move his family to Rome. Lurcio is up for sale to the highest bidder. He's worried about the kind of master or mistress he'll have next.