Lurcio learns that his master, Ludicrus is promoting a bill in the Senate which will make it possible for a slaves to buy his freedom. Lurcio is very happy about the idea, until he finds that freedom will cost 500 Drachmas. He doesn't have any money, so how can he raise some?

Lurcio struggles to deliver the prologue; Ludicrus Sextus suggests the price of freedom should be 500 drachma; and Captain Bilius' shipment of slave girls brings an opportunity to make money.

Ludicrus Sextus must choose Miss Vestal Virgin of BC72, Noxious plots to rig the contest because of the Senator's stance on bawdy houses, and Lurcio is told to find someone more suitable.

Ludicrus becomes involved in a plan to assassinate Julius Caesar. Ammonia gives Lurcio the job of foiling the plot. Lurcio is arrested and taken to Caesar's lieutenant, Ponderous. He's forced to impersonate Caesar in an attempt to catch the plotters.

Ammonia is expecting an unwelcome visit from an old flame. She tells Lurcio to get rid of him using a poisonous asp. When a man arrives at the front door, Lurcio disposes of him, as instructed. Then Ludicrus announces that he's expecting a visit from Stovus Primus...

An army has to be raised to go to Britain to put down revolting natives. Lurcio is forced to go along, though he'd prefer not to.

When the Olympia Theatre Company comes to town, Ammonia sends Lurcio to the theatre with a note for one of the actors, who's one of her old flames. At the same time Ludicrus wants Lurcio to deliver a note to one of the actresses.

Spartacus is the leader of a growing revolt among the slaves of Rome. Lurcio doesn't want to get involved in anything as dangerous as a revolt, but there's no way he can prevent it from affecting him.

Lurcio is given the night off when everyone goes out. Ammonia, Ludicrus and Erotica each give him money so that he'll be out of the house for the evening. Lurcio, however, has other ideas. He's expecting a visit from new neighbour, Lusha. He uses the money to buy a love potion and looks forward to a night of pleasure. Everything goes according to plan ... until the various members of the family sneak back home, expecting the house to be empty.

Ammonia is planning an orgy. She gives Lurcio the job of keeping Ludicrus out of the way. Ludicrus sends Lurcio off to buy a sleeping draught. At the apothecary's shop, Lurcio meets up with Nausius, who's buying a love potion. The sleeping potion and the love potion get mixed up, with predictable consequences.

Lurcio is now a free man, running a wine bar in Pompeii. He's blackmailed by Villainous Brutus, who wants him to drug a gladiator's wine in order to influence the result of his next fight. Things don't go according to plan and Lurcio finds himself in the arena.