Malcolm starts to date Nikki. Meanwhile, Hal and Lois must take abstinence pills in an attempt to be better parents. At the ranch, Otto is furious with the other ranchers who keep destroying the fence that Francis is building to keep the cattle inside.

Jessica, a sly, 16-year-old sitter outfoxes the boys while Lois is away and Hal's busy with a second job as a whiz of a salesman.

Malcolm skips out on Thanksgiving to go to a party; Reese becomes abusive to Hal and Dewey as he attempts to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.

Hal sets up Abe Kenarben on a blind date with Jaime's babysitter Polly but then realizes Lois has also set her up on a blind date - with Craig. Malcolm, Dewey (with his "lucky" shirt) and Reese also meet Reggie Jackson and Francis is embarrassed by Piama in front of his co-workers.

When Reese realizes the Army is too much for him to handle, he deserts and dresses as an Afghani woman. But Lois is on a march to find him, and travels to Kabul to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Malcolm volunteers at a veterans hospital as a way to make up for his guilt of making Reese leave.

Kitty returns and asks Lois for help getting Kitty's estranged husband back; Francis comes home and puts Dewey through the torturous "Brotherhood Initiation."

When Jessica goes through some family troubles, Lois agrees to let her stay at the house, making the boys crazy.

Lois thinks the new babysitter she found for Jamie is perfect... until she starts driving Lois crazy. Meanwhile, Reese starts getting picked on by the teacher when he and Malcolm are in the same class. However, Malcolm decides to defend him.