Doc suspects that a friend's boyfriend is still playing the field. When she tries to prove him wrong by suggesting a quickie wedding, the man claims to have contracted a terminal illness. Capt. Stubing hopes for another chance at love with his recently divorced ex-flame, Eleanor, but she takes an interest in someone else. The captain assigns Gopher to keep an eye on two teenagers who are posing as newlyweds and shacking up in the honeymoon suite, as one of them is the daughter of the Executive Vice President of the cruise line.

Gopher invites his widowed mother onto the ship in the hopes of cheering her up, but is hurt by her seemingly cheerful attitude, which he interprets as an insult to his father. A group of buddies takes a cruise. One of the men meets a woman who is a regular customer at the restaurant where he works. He lies about his identity because he thinks she would be put off by the fact that he is a waiter. A comic's romance with the reporter who is writing a feature about him appears doomed after she takes offense to his act.

A man spends beyond his means while trying to lavish his recently hospitalized wife with gifts. Capt. Stubing and Vicki face an interview with a child services worker, who will decide whether the captain can have full custody of his daughter. A newlywed couple has trouble consummating its relationship because the presence of the bride's bodyguards (her family is ""connected"") makes the groom nervous.