Chris Bernard — Director

Episodes 8

Rat’s Entertainment

0%
October 14, 2002
4x6

Brian feels rejected when Sophie chooses to watch repeats of Geoff Jefferson, Criminal Prosecutor, on cable TV, instead of taking part in his indoor Olympic Games. Josh also has grievances with Sophie's television hogging – the wrestling team have paid him in advance for tapes of special shows. This is not true. Lucy cuts the cable on the TV to end the suffering, but it ends up with Sophie putting Brian's pet rat on trial. Brian is devastated, so tries to put the blame on himself. Lucy then admits and ends up being captured and rescued on the same night.

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Age Concerns

0%
October 22, 2003
5x1

Brian and Sophie learn about age concerns which leads them to either wanting to move in a retirement home or get wrinkles! Meanwhile, Josh's voice breaks and uses it to pretend he's Brian phoning school to say that Josh is ill.

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Big Mother

0%
October 27, 2003
5x2

Lucy is the captain of the school chess team and Brian starts to feel proud of her achievements. In an attempt to feel proud, Sophie imprisons Josh in his room, now a cell with a Telescreen, where he is forced to study and exercise, as in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Josh fails in his studies, but instead creating a clever means of escaping punishment from Sophie and her electronic torture device. Though Sophie learns the truth, she find pride in Josh's elaborate lies. Meanwhile, Brian takes Wendy's place to ensure that the school win their chess competition, learning, however, that pride is not found through cheating.

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King Brian

0%
November 3, 2003
5x4

Brian decides to give the attic, now filled with a bed, cinema screen, drinks cooler, &c., to the member of the family who loves him the most, but Lucy walks away from the contest, saying she loves Brian as a father, "no more, no less". Josh and Mel then compete in vain to win Brian's affections. Meanwhile, Sophie tries to boost her self-esteem. Based on Shakespeare's King Lear.

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Warts and All

0%
November 5, 2003
5x5

Lucy is horrified to find a wart growing on her face. But not as horrified as Brian, who has discovered the real purpose of the bath; he develops a taste for shower gel and is obsessed with hygiene-until he starts shrinking!

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Mel Barker Superstar

0%
November 24, 2003
5x10

Mel heads for stardom as the presenter on the lunchtime programme on the school radio putting Trent's show out of the lime light. And because of Mel's success, Brian and Sophie learn what it is like to be fans and focus all their attention on... Mel. In the end, she is fired because of the resulting scandal with commentary at a sports game.

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Smotherly Love

0%
December 1, 2003
5x12

Brian becomes obsessed with death and tries to secure immortality for himself and the children – but things don't go according to plan.

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Nappy Rash

0%
Season Finale
December 3, 2003
5x13

Sophie helps herself to a baby in the supermarket. Shocked the kids insist it must be taken back, which leaves Sophie feeling broody. Brian obliges her by morphing into a baby with...disastrous results and resorts to Sophie looking after another baby from the children's home. Meanwhile, Josh is desperate for a new games console and Lucy wants to buy some new clothes for seeing Bill Gates.

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