To celebrate their "phone-iversary" Josh convinces Sophie and Brian to buy him a new mobile phone. Sophie also gives a mobile phone to Brian, however the phone wipes his mind of all his alien memories. Meanwhile, Josh believes his mathematics teacher has fallen for him. Josh, Lucy and Wendy all discover love through texting.

Josh is confident that his "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tactics will eventually win the heart of his school friend Tanya. Sophie decides that humans tell lies all the time, making her highly suspicious of everything her family says. Mel persuades Trent to let her stand in for him as school magazine agony aunt, but can she really summon up as much sensitivity as he does? Mel's determined to prove to him that she can. In a desperate bid to prove to Josh that he can lie convincingly, Brian tells Pete that Tanya fancies him. But when Pete and Tanya arrange a date, Brian has some quick thinking to do before Josh's heart is broken. Brian discovers that lying can cause a lot of trouble, while Mel finds out that telling the truth can, too.

When Lucy insists that there's no such thing as luck (it's all just a question of mathematical probability), Brian is determined to prove her wrong. He purchases a pair of Josh's 'lucky' underpants and is delighted to immediately win a free pen and a pound.

Sophie decides to accompany Lucy to advanced mathematics classes after school, but it soon becomes clear that Sophie has fallen in love with Mr. Whiteside, the teacher. Brian feels that he is losing Sophie (and her ability to cook disgusting meals which deeply satisfy Brian) to Mr. Whiteside, so he sneaks into school and kidnaps Mr. Whiteside, and then morphs into Mr. Whiteside himself, to try to pretend to Sophie that Mr. Whiteside is "evil". Unfortunately his plan is ruined when Sophie invites Brian and Mr. Whiteside to have a meal together with her.

Mel notices a hunky boy who seems to attract all the girls. He seems to know her too – but there's a shock in store for her when she discovers who he really is. She persuades Sophie to morph into a girl from school (played by Lucinda Rhodes-Flaherty of KateModern fame) and gets her to find out more about him. It turns out to be Andy The Freak. After Frankie and Pete refuse to hang out with Josh, he investigates and find out that they attend a stamp collecting club. He then hesitates to be seen with them, fearing people will think he too is a stamp collector. Mel bans Brian from playing with CJ, fearing he will 'break' him as he does with everything else. However, whilst playing pirates, Brian breaks CJ's leg after knocking him off the top of the sofa with a plank. Continuing to play pirates, Brian then goes onto bury all his 'treasure' including the TV, fridge, Microwave, and CJ.

Josh's latest scheme ends in detention after he sells a computer password to Frankie, while Brian watches a series of sci-fi films and discovers the general public believe aliens to be bad guys – so he sets about changing people's opinions.

Lucy grumbles that her school work is too easy, but is horrified when Brian and Sophie tell her teacher about her complaints. Brian organises a break-in into the school in order to procure Lucy's school report, while Josh sets up an online dating agency and Mel encourages Trent to emphasise his masculinity

"Great Versace's ghost!" Brian cries as he takes the role of fashion designer and forces the children to wear his fruity clothes and curtains. Meanwhile, Sophie collaborates with Josh in yet another fraudulent scheme, this time a pet selling scam involving a pot bellied pig, and a lot of icecream...

Sophie decides that she must become a nanny in order to see more of the children. Meanwhile, Mr. Whiteside thinks he's seen a ghost after Brian morphs into the spitting image of a long-dead former school headmaster. Lucy, worried about a test, downloads an alien virus into the school computers however this takes a downward turn.