When Lois discovers that Stewie's sick playmate is being denied medical treatment because his parents are Christian Scientists, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

On the night before Thanksgiving, Brian and Peter drunkenly devour the holiday bird, and then must go out to find a replacement. In Peter absence, Chris attempts to step up and become the man of the house.

After discovering his checks are actually a large size post-it pad, Peter demands he have access to the checking account. While at the bank, Peter & Lois discover that his first name is actually Justin, so Peter embraces his new partying “bro” lifestyle. Meanwhile, Joe arrests Glenn after he sleeps with an underage girl, which leads to an unexpected reunion.

Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.

After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter’s health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.

The Griffins provide DVD commentary on a recent episode and reveal never-before-told drama between Peter and Lois.

When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.

Peter gets himself arrested to avoid Lois' special Thanksgiving dinner; A secret that Stewie's been keeping from everyone is revealed.

Peter's non-stop sweating becomes a liability at his company, so his boss tells him to work from home. Meanwhile, after Stewie and Chris cause thousands of dollars in damage to an electronics store, the two create a fake Kickstarter campaign with Brian to pay back the money.

With a newfound love for rocking out to Van Halen, Peter gets in a car accident and falls into a coma.

Cooped up in a hotel room due to a big storm, the Griffins pass the time by reimagining three stories from the Bible.

Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.