Brian writes a play that becomes a hit in Quahog, but loses his confidence when he finds that the play Stewie wrote is better than his.

Peter gets himself arrested to avoid Lois' special Thanksgiving dinner; A secret that Stewie's been keeping from everyone is revealed.

When Meg takes Stewie to the mall to meet Santa, she has a surprising response. Meanwhile, Stewie is entirely scarred from the same experience and Brian tries to help him process it.

When Brian accidentally becomes a local hero, an old street pal, and now a successful millionaire dog, reaches out and tries to convince him to get neutered. Meanwhile, Lois gets a pixie cut against Peter's wishes, so Peter retaliates by trying to out-embarrass her.

Peter secretly gets a credit card and overspends the family money, so Lois grounds him. To plan the perfect escape, he builds a tunnel leading directly to The Drunken Clam.

Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.

When the family fails to help Lois with the Christmas shopping, she walks out on the family and the Griffins must try to save Christmas on their own.

When Peter realizes Joe has never found him funny, he is determined to make Joe laugh; Lois chaperones Chris and Meg's school trip, where she strives to reunite the principal with his long-lost love.

Brian wins a boat on "The Price is Right" and decides to sail to Texas to help women seeking legal abortions.