When Peter, Quagmire and Joe visit the Harvard University campus, Quagmire accidentally marries a prostitute. In order to get out of his marriage, Quagmire pretends to be lovers with Peter.

When Lois gets a job as the music teacher at Chris and Meg's school, a mean student decides to make Lois the target of her antics.

Stewie's future life could not be going any better, living as a wealthy, old Mr. Burns-type man, until his retirement is interrupted by Brian, who brings news that Peter is dying.

Stewie builds a DNA-altering machine that will allow him to remain smart forever, but the invention has the adverse effect and he instead transforms into what he should have always been - an actual baby.

Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.

When Joe asks Peter to be the godfather to his daughter, Peter commits to his mistaken interpretation of the role so much that he becomes a real gangster.

Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.

Peter swaps lives with Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and is forced to make a ruling on the constitutionality of gay marriage, meanwhile, Brett tries to become friends with Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe.

Lois becomes a stand-up comic, using real life stories about Peter as content; Peter tries his best to straighten his life out to avoid being ridiculed by Lois's act.

After successfully landing a plane, Brian and Quagmire go on a press tour. Meanwhile Chris and Stewie open a boutique pizza place.

Peter must gain his family's respect back after he makes a humiliating throw. Brian and Stewie become chiropractors.

When Quagmire starts dating a mystery woman, Peter, Joe and Cleveland go on a stakeout and discover her to be the librarian.

Lois becomes the leader of a group of mothers who want to ban books from schools.