Peter helps Joe fulfill his dream of getting a book published, only to take over as the writer. In the meantime, Brian develops an extreme thirst for exercise.

After running into Jesus at the Quahog Mall, Peter is stunned to discover that the Son of God is still a virgin. So, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help him throw Jesus the best birthday ever by finding a way to help him become a man.

When Brian takes the SATs for Meg but doesn't do very well, the family starts to doubt his intelligence; Peter tries to show Brian the upside of being stupid.