This may sound odd, and I thought it was when I heard it too, but we were at a large gathering a few years back, and one woman (it was actually an older woman - older than me which means OLDER - lol) actually posed the question "Did you actually have sex on your wedding night?"
Now while most who were willing to answer the question said YES, I was taken aback at how many people actually said NO. And yes, more than a couple people were 'off-put' by the question. But since this woman persisted - a quite interesting discussion sprung from it.
So, since weddings are all the rage here this season and with some posters, I thought I'd pose it here.
Us? Yes, we did. We actually didn't go to a hotel on our wedding night - but to my/our condo. We left for our honeymoon trip 36 hours later. We were exhausted - but still young enough to 'consummate' the evening. Actually a great night from 1am - 3:30am. The thing we were most tired for was a scheduled brunch the next morning at 11am to open gifts. That morning was probably one of the hardest ones to ever get up and get going.
I thought we might get some honest answers here on this admittingly odd topic, since we really don't personally know each other in 'the real world'.
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Ma doonaysaa inaad qiimayso ama ku darto shaygan liiska?
Ma aha xubin?
Reply by MurphAndTheMagicTones
on October 28, 2017 at 5:46 PM
I'd answer, but that would require me to have been married. Or engaged. Or gone on a date. Or been within ten miles of a woman.
Reply by Knixon
on October 28, 2017 at 8:11 PM
That's actually never been an interest of mine. The side benefit is that I have no obligation to reciprocate.
Reply by Knixon
on October 28, 2017 at 8:12 PM
Watch out for those high school girls, Murph. I don't want to see your mug shot on TV or in the paper.
Reply by tmdb66064326
on October 28, 2017 at 9:46 PM
Umm...wow
Reply by CalabrianQueen
on October 28, 2017 at 11:14 PM
Yeah I don't understand people who think this way. Intimacy is a two way street. You and your partner explore and discuss what you like and you go from there. There shouldn't be any "obligation".
Reply by Knixon
on October 29, 2017 at 12:15 AM
Maybe you don't consider that a form of "obligation" but it sure comes across that way.
Reply by tmdb66064326
on October 29, 2017 at 12:22 AM
I can't speak for anyone else, but it's not an "obligation" in my relationship. Trust me when I tell you, I don't have to twist his arm and he does not have to twist mine. QUITE the opposite, on both sides!
Reply by Knixon
on October 29, 2017 at 12:24 AM
Then it's not "convincing" and "reciprocating" in your case, but that's the comment you responded to. And if that commenter didn't mean it either, well, that's not my fault for believing what people write.
Reply by tmdb66064326
on October 29, 2017 at 12:27 AM
Ahh, I got you. My initial response to CQ was meant to convey that no convincing on either side was needed.
Reply by CalabrianQueen
on October 29, 2017 at 1:54 AM
It's not the believing you're having a problem with , it's the comprehending.
Reply by CalabrianQueen
on October 29, 2017 at 1:59 AM
I strongly doubt Knixon understood my public service announcement quip. Neither is obligate.
I wanted to point out to Fox that "convincing" as he put it can be done in more creative ways that may produce the desired response. Don't know how I can make that simpler, but maybe the boys get the point now. 😉
Reply by Knixon
on October 29, 2017 at 2:05 AM
"Convincing" other than asking - or begging or whatever - seems no different from "reciprocation" which, if that's what it takes, amounts to "obligation."
Reply by ArcticFox12
on October 29, 2017 at 2:13 AM
I get it. It's more about wisely invested time , sort of a physical negotiation. We're privy to each other's needs , and any couple who isn't needs to realize that communication is part of the solution. We learned that early in our relationship.
Reply by CalabrianQueen
on October 29, 2017 at 2:15 AM
You can't repurpose words when it suits you.
The bottom line is, no one in this thread mentioned anything close to "obligation" until you did. Case closed.
Reply by ArcticFox12
on October 29, 2017 at 2:23 AM
Not only that but he's quoting me in the "convincing" part . Kinda hard to interpret you with my words 🤔
Or maybe this thread was too friendly for his taste.