Graham Smith — Executive Producer

Episodes 12

Lord Byron

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October 7, 200330m
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Mark Steel follows the glorious life of Lord Byron from his birth just off Oxford Street in London to his death in Greece thirty-six years later. We see Byron on the beach, Byron and his pet bear and Byron on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, as Mark traces an extraordinary, unpredictable and rude life in Nottinghamshire, London and Athens, from Byron’s bedroom to his deathbed. In Lord Byron, Mark finds echoes of other modern heroes – revolutionaries, adventurers and poets like Joe Strummer, Lech Walesa and David Beckham, and suggests convincingly that Byron would have enjoyed Last of the Summer Wine.

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Isaac Newton

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October 14, 200330m
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He was a scientist who thought he could turn lead into gold. He was an obsessive with a secret Swiss boyfriend. And, in the world of The Mark Steel Lectures, he likes Alphabetti Spaghetti and the Communards. The contradictions of this fascinating character, half-scientist, half-magician, take us from Newton’s childhood penchant for arson to the Houses of Parliament via Old Compton Street, discovering on the way why God can’t draw circles and what Cliff Richard will be doing in the year 3150. Mark Steel explores the world and the discoveries of Isaac Newton – surely one of Britain’s finest scientific alchemical gay fraud-busting genius MPs.

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Sigmund Freud

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October 21, 200330m
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With a life measured out in cigar-cutters and cocaine wraps, Sigmund Freud was clearly a genius. Here was a man who looked around the world at the start of the 20th century, saw brutal empires, millions being sucked into soulless factories, impending world war, and said: “I know what causes the problems - we want to have sex with our mothers.” Mark Steel reveals the absurdity and complexity of that genius as he travels from Vienna to London in Freud’s wake. Our Sigmund, played by Martin Hyder, steps out of the darkness like Harry Lime, snorts cocaine like Al Pacino in Scarface, and treats his friends like Richard Ashcroft in the video for Bittersweet Symphony. In the course of the journey, Mark is given a 'shoeing' in a London pub, eats a raw onion, walks with the strippers in downtown Vienna, and finds himself inside the dreamworld of David Lynch. Surely the rudest, funniest lecture BBC TV has ever seen, this is the secret world of Sigmund Freud.

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Aristotle

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October 28, 200330m
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Mark Steel traces the history of Greek Philosophy from Pythagoras (“never ate beans”), to Plato (“old and bald”), to Aristotle (“made lists of Olympic champions for fun, and possibly a bugger for the bottle, or possibly not”). The lecture takes in all the important areas of classical philosophy, including ethics, Sue Barker, whether the Four Tops are really the Four Tops at all, incontinence and Jim Davidson, ballooning, and why Aristotle would have disapproved of Orange marches. Filmed at the Parthenon and across Athens, Mark Steel brings you the Aristotle that history has forgotten; the one that liked a pretty girl, a shop full of beds and a KFC, and just maybe a drink as well.

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Charles Darwin

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November 4, 200330m
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Delving further, and more imaginatively, into the evolution of Charles Darwin than ever before, the Mark Steel Lecture takes this modern hero off the ten pound note and into the present day. We follow him onto the Beagle and into the bedroom, and worry for his sanity as he fashions a turtle out of mashed potato. A tortured figure whose distress eventually forced him to take to his bed and watch Animal Hospital and Countdown all day (probably), this is the show that tells you things about Darwin you never knew - including his opinion on the taste of Galapagos tortoise urine.

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Karl Marx

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Season Finale
November 11, 200330m
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As he moved from Paris to London, Marx managed to leave a trail of uncleaned rooms and even more untidy relationships in his wake. Mark picks his way through the discarded Pot Noodle cartons and unexpected children to reveal the real Marx. You'll discover why the state of Marx's flat caused consternation amongst those sent to spy on him, and get to watch him doing his grocery shopping. Mark also explains what made Marx's theories so revolutionary and why Marx wasn't a Marxist.

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Ludwig van Beethoven

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November 5, 200430m
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Mark Steel turns up the volume on Beethoven with his tribute to a man who was the nearest eighteenth-century Vienna got to not only Jimi Hendrix, but also Captain Sensible. Unflinchingly exposing Ludwig’s anger management issues and his dependence on Ceefax’s 888 subtitle service, Mark Steel sets Beethoven in his revolutionary context and reveals the quirks of his character the history books gloss over. Taking in the revolutionary nature of the Freemasons, Haydn’s contractual similarity to Prince, Beethoven’s unusual fondness for semi-hemidemisemiquavers and his love-hate relationship with Napoleon, The Mark Steel Lectures once again combines unique reconstructions with inventive graphics to bring Beethoven right up to the minute.

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Leonardo da Vinci

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November 12, 200430m
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Creator of some of the greatest works of art in human history, but at the same time barely able to finish them, Leonardo is possibly the most easily distracted genius who ever lived. Mark Steel gets close to some of Leonardo’s greatest works, and finds out what The Last Supper has in common with EastEnders. Packing in not just a life of Leonardo but also a brief canter through the political geography and the latest technological advances of the world he was born into, Mark begins by exploring the standards of great art and great beauty as they were before Leonardo truly made his mark. Then it’s a whistlestop tour round Italy as Leonardo builds a reputation both for genius and not doing what he’s paid for.

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Mary Shelley

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November 19, 200430m
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Like Dr Frankenstein himself, Mark Steel has taken the cold-cuts of the traditional TV lecture and brought it back to life with passion and electricity. Taking as its subjects both the book for which Mary Shelley is famous and the tragedy-filled life of the woman herself, the programme moves from England to Geneva and back in search of the spark that created the monster. Almost as if genetically programmed by the pioneering mother she never knew, and on whose grave she consummated her love for the poet Percy Shelley, Mary Shelley created an indestructible legend more relevant today than ever – as Mark Steel discovers with his customary wit and passion. Kenneth Branagh does not feature in this programme.

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Thomas Paine

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November 26, 200430m
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Surely Britain’s greatest unknown international revolutionary, best-selling author and hobbyist bridge builder, Norfolk born corset-maker’s son Thomas Paine wrote the Rights of Man and helped inspire the American War of Independence. Thereafter he became the Secretary for Foreign Affairs in a government that hated his country of birth. He then went to France and escaped the guillotine by accident, after having failed to sell a bridge he built over a field in London. One of Mark Steel’s great unsung radical heroes, this comedy lecture series shines a light on a little known (in Britain) hero on two continents.

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Sylvia Pankhurst

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December 3, 200430m
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Tracing her life from schooldays in radical Manchester to retirement in rural Essex, when Haile Selassie occasionally came to call, Sylvia Pankhurst the revolutionary and Rastafarian sympathiser is brought to life as only Mark Steel can. From a bed-in with Keir Hardie to Kill Bill style ju-jitsu, here’s everything you didn’t know about this pioneer of democracy. Recalling a time when Manchester was the most radical city in Britain, this latest instalment in Mark Steel’s comedy lecture series resonates with today’s human rights campaigners and anti-war radicals, as well as containing a short section revealing the best type of stone to smash windows with.

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Albert Einstein

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Season Finale
December 10, 200430m
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A great physicist but a lousy father, Einstein played with the nature of space and time as easily as he did his beloved violin. Mark Steel grapples with the fundamental nature of the Universe and Einstein’s dislike of socks to provide a comic guide to the essence of the most famous scientist in history. Surely the only television programme in history to explain special relativity with reference to both minicabs and Blake’s 7, this is Einstein in a nutshell, at nearly the speed of light.

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