Years ago Lonestarr's father stole the One Onion ring from Scroob's father. When Barf finds the Onion Ring stuck in an old couch inside the Eagle 5, Yogurt sends him on a quest to throw the Onion Ring into the deep fryer of Lardor. Meanwhile Skroob orders Dark Helmet to build him a dark army. Unfortunately they end up with a dork army instead.

Barf pretends to be a pirate when he and Lone Starr raid Spaceball One. President Scroob learns that all of Yogurt's Schwarz power houses in his gallbladder, and proceeds to steal it.

Lone Starr, aka secret agent Double O Sven has to stop the evil Fishfinger and Badjob from blowing up Fort Lox, the largest fish depository in the galaxy.

Princess Vespa boards a giant cruise ship on her maiden voyage around the tip of Areola. Little does she suspect Scroob and Helmet are out to kidnap her again. Luckily Lone Starr and Barf win some tickets in a strip poker game as well.