While Clone High mourns a power couple breakup, Candide and Scudworth hatch a plan to reunite the pair with mandatory sex education, swarthy seamen, and some sensual sax solos.

While Scudworth develops a plan to convert Clone High into a religious school, JFK seeks absolution for his philandering lifestyle from the Prayer Pals. Plagued with guilt after her tryst with Toussaint, Harriet turns to Joan – and the Lord – for advice.