Candide’s crisis wreaks havoc, Joan doubts her relationship with JFK, Abe turns to Frida for advice and Harriet frets over a future as a #winemom.

After returning from summer break, the students of Clone High become acquainted with their new science teacher, Professor Hirsute. Meanwhile, a newly friendless Joan receives an invite from the only club that will take her as a member.

As Valentine’s Day nears, Confucius and Joan con Harriet into thinking they’re a couple. Meanwhile, Scudworth swoons over an old nemesis.

After Scudworth imposes mandatory Parent-Principal conferences on the student-body, Confucius enlists his feuding friends to fill in for his absentee foster parents. To win over Frida’s dad, Harriet helps give Cleo an epic make-under.