Sand doesn't just lie lifeless on the beach and stick to your water shoes six months after a Mallorca vacation: it's everywhere! In cars, houses, soap, computers, and grated cheese—making it arguably the most undervalued raw material of our time.

The dirty stepbrother of quality journalism is a pure money-printing machine of the last century. Doing business with lies and misanthropic stories under the guise of press freedom?

Even 16 years later, Hartz IV still does not work as the promised great labor market reform: two-thirds of the people who slip into unemployment today end up directly at the old social assistance level from before 2005.

Just a few days ago, the Oscars were awarded in L.A. And in Germany, the film industry is doing what it does best: always casting the same three men in leading roles, producing films with shallow storylines, and never a single film without a penis joke.

Austria, you are our favorite neighbor! You gave the world Wiener Schnitzel, DJ Ötzi, and, unfortunately, a young boy as Chancellor. That's why it's always good to have a true friend who, in difficult times, can honestly tell you that your dear little Penate Chancellor with the €600 gel hair is painting the four pillars of democracy turquoise.

What's on Wikipedia is considered "the truth." If you don't like that, you can let reality be changed where it's made: in the world's most important encyclopedia.

Germans love technological innovations. ACTUALLY. But in reality, we fear a hostile takeover by autonomous robots that will steal our jobs and take over the world.

Germany, a country made for cars, not people! Because let's be honest: Cars are simply better people. Or have you ever had your heart broken by your city SUV? Probably not!

Ever heard of microtargeting? Facebook makes a lot of money from it, and ALL parties represented in the Bundestag use microtargeting on Facebook in their election campaigns.

We have good news and bad news: the AfD lost the federal election. BUT, thanks to a few million idiots, it can still enter the Bundestag for a second time and even win something.

True crime is EVERYWHERE! Besides Helene Fischer's new album, there's nothing hotter right now than mysterious stories about real crimes! True crime experts on TV are especially mysterious.

Moria, the refugee camp on the Greek island of Lesbos, burned down a year ago! Afterward, everyone agreed: Something as inhumane as the Moria camp must not be allowed to exist again in Europe.

Whether in mouth oil, bath bombs, dog shampoo, or lubricant – CBD is in everything, even though lifestyle CBD is to the body what the demands of Fridays For Future are to politics: It doesn't matter. Sorry to ruin the placebo effect for you again.

If your old schoolmate contacts you again after years, there are only two options: Either he finally wants his "Fast and Furious" DVD box set back, or he now works at Deutsche Vermögensberatung AG and wants to sell you 15 life insurance policies. What one in ten Germans, including your old schoolmate Sascha, does can't be wrong! Can it?

Welcome to QUARTER TO WELKE – the talk show that's making headlines. Today, we're discussing sex, cabbage rolls, and the loss of power of the former media giant Axel Springer SE with five high-profile guests.

Facebook is working with crazy fascists and burning down the democracies of the world.

Why are we still in the middle of a fucking pandemic despite the vaccine? The research team at ZDF Magazin Royale has discovered: There's a world outside of Germany. AND who would have thought: When it comes to vaccinations, the world splits in half!

Music, dance, life, passion – nowhere are these powerful concepts more united than in pop music. And pop shows are always on TV! Brilliantly produced events with special effects, stars, and all of it packed into a compact 180 minutes.

Murder! Or manslaughter? A person has died at the Interior Ministers' Conference. It's unfortunate, because such a conference is always an event with snacks and champagne, but now this gruesome act overshadows the proceedings.